Hopeful Homemaker

I smiled as I typed the title to that post.  I smiled because it’s fun to type the word “Joy” and think about how I’ve felt joy this week.  It’s fun to see that I’m only three weeks in, to know that I get to do this almost 50 more times this year.

Phew.  It was a busy week, a good week, an exhausting week, capped off by a Sunday morning complete with two unwilling boys preparing talks and a teen-aged daughter having outfit trauma.  But we had a great night tonight, lots of laughter and personality and good times.  Really good times.

How have I done?  Pretty well, thanks.  I feel really good about how things are going.  I’m getting better at some things, although as I track my efforts I realize I’m improving faster in the areas that are more exciting/interesting to me than I am in the areas that I know are important but don’t sound enticing.  I’m going to work on that but I’m also glad I’m improving in areas that readily bring me joy.

First and foremost, I must say that I do feel happier, that focusing on joy is helping me to recognize and savor it, if only for a moment.  I’m still writing daily in my “joy” books for the children.  I’m adding quotes to my Joy notebook.  I’m pausing more often to connect and enjoy my children.  I’m noticing when they’re happy, too.  I noticed my nine year old daughter’s smile when she made a mistake in a futsal game, and how the joy of playing so quickly overcame the mistake.  I noticed it last night when my son came home from a youth dance and entertained us until well past midnight with his observations, stories and humorous perspective.  We laughed so hard that my husband finally fell off his chair, and then of course we all laughed harder.  We’re laughing more.  It feels good.

On my daily lists, things have been pretty steady for the past three weeks.  I’m doing well with reading, study, creativity, a clean kitchen and homework.  I’m still struggling with drinking enough water and folding all the laundry immediately after washing it.  But this week was more tightly scheduled, so it’s also been nice to see that I’ve maintained that much while being away more.  This morning I reviewed both my monthly list and my January list and was happy to see that much of it has been taken care of.  I just might send January into history with a check mark next to all 20+ items!  That would be a first, and it speaks less of getting a lot done and more of learning how to prioritize and plan.

It’s the weekly items I’m struggling with.  Some of them are Sunday items and I haven’t quite worked out the Sunday schedule.  Some of them I have no excuse for.  I just get swept away in the week and then it’s too late.  So of all the areas I’m working on, my weekly checklist needs the most help.  It’s good to see these things so I can adjust.

Some specifics:

I’m almost 2/3 through The Happiness Project and am really enjoying it.  She cites so much research and it’s fun to see how much of it I was aware of and how much I knew intuitively, along with how much there is to learn and try in my own life.  In the care I’m reading The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp and enjoying it.  I’ve paused in the 7 Habits to work on implementing what I’m learning and I’m trying to find and use the pause button in moments when I tend to get upset or respond poorly.

I finished the quilt I was making for a friend.  If you heard a huge sigh of relief around 6 a.m. yesterday morning, it was me.  At least I can thank my four year old who woke up vomiting at 5 a.m. for making sure I was wide awake and ready to finish the quilt before everyone got up.

I emailed most of my friends this week to check on their birthdays.  I was happy to see how many of them I’d remembered correctly and I’ve enjoyed reconstructing a birthday calendar.  It also surprised me to discover how warmly my emails were received by old friends who I talk to rarely or never, friends who have mostly been in the Christmas card only contact mode for a few years.  And while I knew it would happen, I was also surprised at how happy it made me to have these email conversations.

Along those lines, I made my first handmade birthday gift of the year for a dear friend who was in town.  It was a lot of fun to do, but it also surprised me how worried I was about it being good enough.  But I promised myself I would do it this year, so I did and I think it turned out.  It also gave me a creative project to complete.

I attended a function with friends this week, meeting my monthly goal of doing something social at least once.

One thing I picked up from Rubin’s The Happiness Project was to “tackle a nagging task.”  I tried to work at nagging tasks this week and was able to make progress.   I finished some things that weren’t fun to do, but were a relief to complete.  I have quite a few of those things to take care of in the coming week and while I’m not looking forward to them I know I’ll be glad to have them behind me.  I’ve taken care of paperwork I dreaded, made phone calls, sent emails, etc.

Most of all, I feel grateful for the goodness of God.  He has been generous to our family this week, and I feel joyful about it.  I’m grateful for answered prayers, for sustaining love, for tender mercies.  And I’m so, so thankful for my husband, who makes the sun shine for me on cloudy days.

Yep, it’s been a joyful week.   Hooray!

Jennifer

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How is it that January is already half gone?  I feel like I’ve been busy and diligent, yet the last half of the month looks too short.  I’m crossing my fingers for a couple of weeks of smooth sailing.

Joy.  Did I feel it?  Yes.  It was a good week, aside from the day I fell off the wagon and was an emotional wreck {and yes, it’s true, you can ask my mom and one of my sisters about this}.  I recovered and am back on track, grateful for all the things that are right and trying not to dwell on the one big thing that isn’t right.  My circle of influence is where it’s best to keep my focus; the other things aren’t worth wasting energy on.  Easier said than done, but I’m sure trying.

So how did I feel joy?  Well, I tried to pause when the children were noisy and notice what was going on to make them so excited.  I ended up observing some really fun things taking place among them and it brought me joy.   I played ping pong with my husband late at night.  I tried to notice funny things and let myself laugh more often.  I am still writing daily in the “Joy” books I’m keeping for each child, which has been a really healthy thing for me already.  If I’m struggling to think of something great that a particular child did that day, then I either didn’t connect well with them or I wasn’t in the proper frame of mind when I was around them and therefore I probably didn’t build them enough.  This little exercise is helping me to begin the new day more aware of which children I really need to seek out and spend a few minutes with.  It isn’t much, and I’m not perfect at it, but I believe that small yet consistent efforts will make a big difference over time.  I also made this little notebook for collecting quotes in, quotes both for my own pondering and also for us to memorize.

I’ve continued to do well, really well, with my morning routine of studying scriptures and reading good books.  I’m reading a little bit from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families every day and have gleaned so much already.  I’m trying to put it into practice and I do feel like I’m getting a little bit better although I have much to learn and many habits to create.  Today I also started reading The Happiness Project, and it’s funny how much of what the author says in her first chapter mirrors thoughts and feelings I’ve had.

While I cannot say that every day I did a good job on my daily list of essentials, necessities and nice-to-do items, I can say that taken across the week as a whole I feel like I worked on a lot of important things, like there’s a decent balance overall.  I like that feeling.   No, my house isn’t spotless; in fact, it’s quite messy.  But I’m spending time every day working at it and it’s going to get better.

I have some things on the weekly list that I’ve been intending to do on Sunday evenings, but so far we’ve had Church-related commitments on most Sunday nights (and will through the end of the month) and it hasn’t worked out.  We also started a new Church schedule so our day is more chopped up than it was before.  I’m going to give it until February to work it out, but it’s possible I need to schedule those activities for another time if it just doesn’t work out.

Our family wrote thank-you notes for Christmas gifts received (I just realized as I’m typing this that I haven’t mailed them yet).  I had a few great conversations with friends, a couple in person, the others over the phone.   One in particular was so uplifting.  I tried a couple of new recipes, tickled a lot of little ones, did a lot of laundry.  It was a good week in many ways.

I didn’t meet my goals to be creative every single day but I did it several days, and on Saturday I woke up early and had some time while the house was still quiet to work at my projects.  Although I’m craving a marathon day or two of sewing, I’m learning to be happy with a handful of minutes and the knowledge that I’ll get another handful tomorrow.  I’m also reading a book about creativity when I’m in the carpool line at school and have learned some interesting things about myself.  For example, I’m a results girl.  I do things to get them DONE. I want to see the final product.  I don’t, by nature, find as much joy in process.  {This was a big revelation to me about myself.} Spending just a few minutes a day on creative activity is helping me to recognize that the process should be enjoyable, and this is a great way to school myself to appreciate process.

I am so grateful for the chance to learn!  I’m grateful for this opportunity to teach myself how to notice and feel joy even when we’re facing adversity.  I’m excited to see how my daily efforts, carefully prioritized, add up at the end of the year.  I am thankful to be alive, to have the husband of my dreams and a whole bunch of imperfect but very loveable children to share this journey with.  Life is good, oh so good!

Joyfully,
Jennifer

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