Hopeful Homemaker

May 9, 2012
by jennifer
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Unwelcome Surprise

This morning I happened to go to the basement for a random reason. What greeted me was a large puddle of water on the middle of the floor. The location could only mean a plumbing problem two stories above, instantly making me wonder what kind of damage we might have. A quick check of the main floor revealed nothing, so we started poking around in the basement ceiling.

It revealed a mistake made by subcontractors when building the home. While installing the ducting on the air return for the furnace, several nails went right into our hot water pipe. They’ve been there for five years, leaking tiny amounts of water into the ducting and wood, and for some reason today the holes got bigger than the nails and we had a problem. What a bummer that a thoughtless mistake wasn’t caught long ago!

The good news:

I went to the basement before 8 a.m., before I got in the shower and made it worse. On a normal day I’m not down there until dinnertime when I need an ingredient from the storage room for our meal. My husband was working from home today, saving us the cost and hassle of calling a plumber. We turned off the water, drained the pipes into buckets, cut the pipe and went to buy a new piece. We opened up the ducting to dry it out, put a little bleach water on the wood that appears to be rotting, and now we just wait and see if it has to be replaced. The actual cost so far is around $20.

The bad news:

If the wood doesn’t dry out properly it will cost a lot more than that. Having the water off meant no laundry, no shower, time spent working in the basement instead of doing other things.

Really it’s not a big deal, not a big deal at all. But sometimes it’s tempting to feel like everything is going wrong, especially when you start stacking recent setbacks on top of one another. Not necessarily life changing things, but little things that weigh on you, interrupt your ability to accomplish necessary things, and significantly add to your stress. I was tempted to feel totally overwhelmed by this today, not just because of what happened but because of what didn’t happen as a result of it. Life has a way of getting us when we have the least amount of time for it. I’m noticing that I’ve had to give myself a lot of pep talks lately, and today they increased.

Still, as I’m trying to live joyfully this year, I do feel like I’m getting better at taking things in stride. At least I am on the surface. The stomach ache I’ve had for several weeks might indicate that I’m not as successful as I think. Nevertheless, it’s progress. I’m working at it.

So today we had an unwelcome surprise. But it happened on the right day, we found it at the right time, and so far it’s cost as little as it could possibly cost. Let’s hope it stays that way.

And I’m thankful for running water that isn’t running into my basement.

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May 8, 2012
by jennifer
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May’s Calendar

Since the end of April I’ve spent considerable time going through every email, every paper sent home, visiting multiple websites, consulting school and district calendars, etc. to learn the time and date of everything that concerns any of my children during May. It’s the month of insanity, and as I was going through it all, I quickly realized that I could never fit it all on a piece of paper.

I raided my dwindling supply of posterboard (I stash a bunch of it at the beginning of the school year so we never have to go to the store late at night for the surprise poster assignment) and made myself a calendar for May.

Try as I might to minimize it, this month always runs us dry, and often before the month has ended. I don’t want my kids to think that because you’re sick of it, you get to quit. I want them to finish the school year well. I want to finish the year well (although that goal often morphs as the month goes on into something that resembles surviving it more than conquering it).

So instead of wasting space with names, I chose a marker for each family member and made a color-coded calendar. At a glace I can see who needs to be where every day. I didn’t include the long lists of items that need to be finished, or errands, or piano and violin practice. It doesn’t include the time it takes to tape ankles before games and practices, or driving time or pick-up times. My personal lists are elsewhere. This is just the basics.

I’m liking the size of it. It may be my new scheduling strategy.

I also went through each student’s online gradebooks at their respective schools and made lists of every missing assignment and whatever upcoming assignments were posted. I know we’re going to get slammed with some projects that I haven’t heard about yet, but I can at least be aware of what has already been assigned and we can at least tackle any missing work. On the back of the calendar I’ve listed those assignments, also by color, titling them “rescue missions.”

Because most of them were sick before spring break, there are a few of those that weren’t attended to well. My handsome son who missed a week of school for his ankle has a long list of missing work. I requested assignments from his teachers that week, but only 3 responded and so we’re doing lots of rescuing there.

I’ll be honest. The calendar by itself doesn’t look too bad. The list of schoolwork looks doable. Putting them together is tricky. Take tonight, for example. We’re going to spend 5 hours driving to, waiting for, watching and driving home from a soccer game. It will be fun, but it’s tough to get much done under those circumstances. We will have another late bedtime for the younger ones. Add to that the laundry, haircuts, clean rooms, meal prep, reading time, and I quickly feel like this:

I am trying to avoid eating poorly during an on-the-run month. With little time for cooking, many of our meals look like this:

Some of the kids don’t love it but they all eat it, and that’s a good thing.

As the month flies by I’m also noticing a lot of areas in which we’re falling short. Some of the children have developed behavior patterns that need to be corrected. I’m keeping a list of them so that the minute school is out we can begin Behavior Modification 101, or in layman’s terms, do what you’re asked to do when you’re asked to do it. Should be fun!

How is your May going?

Hopeful Homemaker

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May 7, 2012
by jennifer
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The Cast is Off!

Monday morning found us at the surgeon’s office to get our first look at the broken ankle, post-surgery. Here he is on the table, equal parts anticipation and worry, trying to hide both, and irritated with his mom for remembering the camera. Someday I think he’ll be glad we have pictures of his life, but right now he’s mostly disgusted by my efforts at record keeping.

Seriously, it was the biggest cast I’ve ever seen on the lower leg. EVERYONE commented on how enormous it was. At school he had people stop him to ask about it, and I heard a lady at church exclaim, “THAT for just an ankle?”

All that padding!

And the ankle emerges at last…

And there is the incision. It’s longer than they said it would be. The pre-operative markings are still there. The x-rays look good, but he’ll be in a boot and on crutches a while longer. They removed the stitches but one of them broke and will just have to work it’s way out. The ankle is still quite swollen, which they said is common. He has no feeling around the area, which should return with time. So this phase is finished and we’ll press forward. Four more weeks until more x-rays and then we’ll find out when he can start walking again.

I had NO idea when this first happened how long the process would be. Poor guy. He is sick, sick, sick of crutches, but grateful he can take normal showers again, fit his leg through normal clothes, and so forth. There is always something good to find, right?

These little people were fabulous while we waited. There were no chairs in the cast room so we just stood there against the cabinets and watched.

And life goes on. I hope I make it to June.

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May 6, 2012
by jennifer
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Joy, week 18

Every once in a while I get an urge to read one of Jane Austen’s classics so I recently enjoyed reading Pride and Prejudice — my favorite — once again. This time through I was struck particularly by Darcy’s admission to Elizabeth at the end of the book that he had been taught correct principles but had still gone amiss in his application of some of them as the years passed. Elizabeth’s refusal of his hand at first angered him but soon he allowed a sincere self-evaluation and came to cherish her all the more for making him know himself, for demanding of him the gentleman he had intended to be, and when he saw clearly again he went about the task of improving, of changing, of earnestly becoming the man he knew he should be.

I felt a kinship to Darcy as I finished the book this time, not because my life parallels his in any particulars, but because that experience of waking up to comprehend the distance between what you are and what you thought you were has been mine of late. I have wondered to myself more than once how someone so good-intentioned and with such efforts to be principled, could still end up here. You may remember this post about a stack of literature I am reading. The books are about a specific challenge we are dealing with as parents, and what I am reading makes so much sense and yet simultaneously goes against enough common parenting practices as to make me feel like I’m on the right track and need to turn everything I’m doing upside down at the same time. There have been days and moments of frustration but in my learning, repenting and practicing I also have a growing feeling of gratitude for this opportunity to truly know myself and choose to become the mother I intended to be. Because we usually compare the inside of our lives to the outside of other families, I don’t know that this process is something most people would ever notice, but because I’m the one who lives inside my life it feels like fundamentals are being shifted and realigned in major ways. One of my great weaknesses is a tendency to become impatient with slow growth, and this kind of growth is definitely slow.

I realize all of this is ambiguous. No need to worry; all is well. I choose to be vague instead of specific because I also feel a responsibility to be loyal to my children and refrain from advertising their challenges or weaknesses in ways that would be, to them, a breach of trust. I share it only because I think many of us have had that experience of waking up to our shortcomings as we gain knowledge and because it is the strongest ongoing theme in my life right now, next to the deafening roar of a schedule gone crazy during this last month of school.

Last week can be easily summed up in a few short sentences: Too much time in the car. Too many meals prepared in a hurry. Too many late bedtimes. Too much unfolded laundry. More children fighting colds. Too many days spent responding to the urgent issues of the day instead of systematically working on things of greater long-term importance.

I confess that all day today I’ve been fighting the temptation to indulge in self-pity and frustration and so I will refrain from typing too much in order to avoid it. Yesterday I was driving my daughter to her soccer game when I discovered the home of a friend who had moved. I had lost track of her and knew only that she’d moved. Imagine my delight to drive by her home and see her standing on her driveway! I went back and we visited and I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Yesterday at church I had a conversation with a lady that went so well that I felt that same smile on my lips. I was able to help a friend and this week stopped at the door of several great women I haven’t visited with in a while. Sometimes those doorstep conversations, designed to say “I was thinking about you” are the highlight of the day. I want to do it more.

I dealt with some stains on my six year old’s school shirts that I just hadn’t taken care of. That felt good. I cleaned the laundry room. I almost cried when the rest of the bills for my son’s recent ankle surgery arrived but was saved by the face of my two year old peering up at me to ask if I was sad. She then climbed up and entertained me with nonstop chatter for 30 minutes, becoming increasingly animated in her mannerisms. Oh, I love that girl. And it’s a good thing, too, because she racked up quite a tab this week in broken things. She is a class all her own!

I cannot tell you how far short I am falling. I can tell you how earnestly I am trying.
And that will have to do, because there certainly aren’t two of me!

Good luck with your week. If you’re like me, you need a lot of it!

Jennifer

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May 3, 2012
by jennifer
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The Sort Of Entry

Like most people, there are things I love about my house and things I don’t love about my house. I love the open floor plan which allows a lot of people to mingle and gather without it feeling overwhelming. I love the way it flows.

I don’t love the fact that almost the entire main floor can be seen from the front door.

Have you ever noticed how frequently foyers are featured in design magazines, usually with some amazing statement piece that sets the tone for the house? Often these entries are designed to shield the rest of the house from view. When we were building our home I knew I would wish I had that kind of entry, but I couldn’t find a way to do it with our floor plan. The dimensions of our lot gave us little choice about the footprint of the house and we did the best we could. We ended up with a great house, but no real entry. There’s somewhere to stand inside the front door, but you can see pretty much everything from that spot.

Which is fine, if it’s all clean. But more often than not I feel like I’m opening my front door and the shoes, toys, socks and so forth is what sets the tone instead of a console table and an awesome mirror.

Here are some pictures of what you see if you turn your head from side to side upon entering my house:

If you knock on my door and the curtains are open, you can see through the dining room and into our kitchen eating area (translate: table must be clean). When you enter the house, the dining room opens on your left with a clear shot of my kitchen counters (translate: counters must be clean also).

If you look straight ahead when you walk through the door, you see this:

To the right is the hallway leading to my studio/guest room with a closet and bathroom on the way. The closet is currently our game closet which my youngest girls love to open and pull things out of ALL. DAY. LONG. Getting that hallway clean and keeping the closet door shut is no small feat.

To the left is our family room, and for some reason everyone loves to drop things on the ground in front of this table, or on top of the table. The table itself is a thrift store find which needs a coat of paint. I don’t love the bookshelves but they’re sturdy and functional and I want access to some of our books in there.

Lastly, on the right is the living room. {Happy sigh.} I love my living room. I can get it looking right in less than 2 minutes. It’s the one view I have going for me (most of the time) when that knock is heard.

So there you have it. In about three quarters of a second you can sweep your gaze across the areas of my home that get messy faster and more often than any others. When everything is clean, I love that. When it’s not, I really wish I had some focal point I could draw attention to instead of the clutter on the floor.

I’ve been thinking about that. A focal point. Is there something I could do to catch and hold the eye nearer the door? Between the hallway and the living room sit the stairs. All too often the stairs hold 2-3 small piles of various things that belong upstairs. All too often I’m the culprit, placing it there while I tidy up so I can save time and take one big trip upstairs. A few years ago my sister made me this awesome “H.” I’ve had it in several places since then: on my mantel, leaning against the fireplace, on a wall in the family room. I made some changes to the family room so the H was without a home for a while.

Until now.

I hung it on the stairway wall, and I think I like it there. I like the drama of the strong lines, and I like having something to notice. From the front door it looks like this:

While I’d like to say that it makes the entry a little more interesting and attractive, it surely makes me more motivated to keep the stairway clean. It’s hard for me to justify a temporary pile on the stairs when in my brain the presence of the H means that it’s an area worth maintaining well.

I’m trying something on the edge of the dining room as well, with a similar goal in mind.

This little red bench is having an audition on the edge of the room near the front door. I like it’s size but I’m not sure about introducing red in the dining room and I really love the red on this bench. I saw a cabinet a while ago at an outlet store that I’ve been dreaming of ever since which would be a perfect statement and storage piece but that’s just an idle dream. So the question is: bench or no bench? And do you think the H is an improvement?

Every day one of my housekeeping goals is to have the main floor tidy and clean. With little ones home all day this usually proves to be a challenge, but it’s a good challenge. We have days when other things take priority, and when that happens I’ve learned to shrug and open the door with a smile.

Tell me, do you have a formal entryway? If not, what do you do to keep “the view” under control should someone knock?

Hopeful Homemaker

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May 2, 2012
by jennifer
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Turquoise Star quilt top

My little squares of cheery fabric have become a finished quilt top. I used the instructions found at Pins and Bobbins for the Made in Cherry Quilt Along. I made the smaller 60 inch size, which actually made this a super fast project. Once I got all the squares lined up on the bed, I broke it into small sections and was able to work at it in 10-15 minute segments until I had it all pieced together.

For this project I cut into a small stack of prints from the Tweet collection by Timeless Treasures. (You can find some of them here.) The turquoise solid I had in my drawer just happened to match and I thought it was good for me to use a solid other than white for a change. I’m proud of myself for cutting into relatively new fabric instead of fretting about having the perfect project for it.

This is the fourth project I’ve finished in 2012 that is still waiting to be quilted and finished. I did baste the Little Man quilt top and made a couple of passes for quilting, but am unhappy with it and need to pull it out and start again. Ugh! I wonder if I’ll get it done in time for the baby to still use it! (I know, I know… it would certainly get done if I worked on nothing else in those stolen 10 minutes each day.)

Sooo, I’m off to clean bathrooms so I can perhaps find a few minutes to spend with my seam ripper later tonight.

Have a great day!
Jennifer

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May 1, 2012
by jennifer
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The Good Enough Party

Last week I shared photos of my girls prepping for a last-minute birthday party for a friend. The joy we all found in scurrying around to prepare was increased when our friends arrived. It was a perfect evening.

And yet, very little about it was technically perfect. I didn’t have any paper cups or plastic forks. I went through several recipes before I found one I had all the ingredients for. The house was barely tidy. What was perfect about the evening was our willingness to do our best before the party and when the party started, we all wholeheartedly gave ourselves to enjoying it.

I remembered this post and realized that I’ve learned a lot in the past 18 months. Many lessons have been imposed upon me by the realities of caring for eight children, but I’m so thankful I’ve learned to relax and enjoy my guests, refrain from apologizing, smile and visit and focus on making people feel good about themselves.

Gratefully, my lavender shortbread cookies and this citrus lemon cake with lavender frosting carried the day in addition to the chocolate cupcakes and cake our guests brought with them. Everything looked and tasted delicious.

The very best part of it was our family’s common goal of making my friend’s birthday special. It wouldn’t have been a common goal if I’d been more worried about how things looked than I was about involving my family in preparation. Because I let them do the decorating, they were able to serve and to anticipate joy as much as I was. Sharing the creative process without specific expectations or judgment allowed my children to claim my goal as theirs. This goal was a blessing to her children as well, who felt good about being part of something special for their mom’s birthday. We had two families who were content to relax, laugh, talk, give praise, and enjoy being together. Ten minutes before our friends arrived I had a list of 15 things in my mind that I wished I could still pull off, but when we said good-bye I couldn’t remember any of them. I felt so full and happy I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We had done enough to let them know they’re important to us, and then we spent time enjoying their friendship.

I don’t mean to go on and on about it. It really was a very simple gathering. I guess I think that too often we get big grand pictures in our heads about what a party looks like. The parties we see in magazines and on pinterest aren’t the kind of party that usually happen at my house. Those pictures are inspiring in their beauty and it’s fun to glean ideas from them, but they can distract us from the real purpose of a party. I always try to do at least one special thing to make it look nice (like the mini cake on a piece of china sitting atop a cake stand in the first picture), but I never manage to get everything perfect. I don’t think we have to. I think we need to be open, real, relaxed and more concerned about enjoying our guests than we are about what they think of our event.

If you’ve got someone you’ve been meaning to invite over but haven’t yet because you can’t seem to get everything to work out for a Perfect Party, try a Good Enough Party. Be yourself, make your signature dessert, work as hard as you can for a little while and then take a deep breath and smile. Your Good Enough Party just might become a Perfect Party. Ours did.

Our evening ended with the girls getting wagon rides from my husband while the older children spread streamers all over each other and my yard. While they played my friend and I talked about real life as we took down streamers together.

And then the birthday girl got a little surprise from her son.

Like I said, a Good Enough, Perfect Party.

Hopeful Homemaker

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April 30, 2012
by jennifer
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We’re starting a project!

Isn’t this a great stack of fabric?

My daughter and a close friend of hers are working on value projects for their Personal Progress achievement (a goal-setting and personal development program for girls age 12-18 for the LDS Church). For one project they each want to make a quilt and we’ve decided to make them in the colors of the Young Women’s values. We spent some time Saturday going through my stash and making piles of fabrics for 7 of the 8 colors. The colors are (starting at 12:00): orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, gold, red. The 8th color is white, but they’re both using lots of white in the quilts.

Do I have time for this project? Not at all. But it’s one of those things I’m not going to miss. It’s a chance to spend time with my daughter and her friend, a chance to mentor another girl, a chance to teach them a skill that is useful. A chance to help them make something beautiful. Their excitement is infectious and I’m looking forward to the process.

Now I have a bunch of math to do before we start cutting! Wish me luck…

Hopeful Homemaker

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April 29, 2012
by jennifer
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Joy, week 17

Oh my! I can hardly believe the last day of April is staring me in the face. The weeks continue to race by, gaining speed and leaving me breathless. I look at the past 4-5 weeks and see so many obstacles that arose but which were small enough to be hurdled with help from the Lord, and for that I am incredibly grateful. We have been stretched, our resources taxed, but the Lord has blessed us abundantly. Life is good.

The week was another unusual one. Monday’s ankle surgery threw everything off but we got through it and in good spirits. This experience has been so good for me. This little taste of crutches, wheelchairs, 24/7 immobility and so forth has made me marvel more than once at parents who do this every day for years. It’s been a big deal to me because it’s new and it’s current, but it’s also temporary and I’m aware of that. Every time I stand at the back of our vehicle to lift that wheelchair I think of parents whose daily life includes this indefinitely and my heart sings with praise for them and with gratitude to God who has given this to me for now and not for years.

We had soccer games in Layton and in Heber. We had a huge report at school to take care of, which left me with mixed feelings. I should have done so much more to help him with it but everything has been off balance for the past couple of weeks. We got it done, but not well enough. I walked into the school that day feeling heavy about it. His display could have been so much better if only the timing was different! But “if only’s” don’t mean much, and we all know that. In spite of my feelings I squared my shoulders and reminded myself that at least I was there for the presentations, something not every parent does. It’s wasn’t what I wanted, or what I feel it should have been, but it was good enough. I got out my camera and took some pictures and that was that. Last night my husband and I went to dinner with some friends we haven’t seen in a long time. It was nice to visit with them, and we came home with bigger smiles on our faces.

In all that we have going on, I feel like I’m growing. I’m getting better at taking things in stride and finding something to smile about. We keep trying to find the funny in things, to laugh more as a family. I’m working on gathering my children into my arms more often, no matter their age, to hug them. I’m giving more compliments to them and consciously trying to look them in the eyes when we’re talking. I am finding more pleasure in the sound of sprinklers outside my window or the breeze tickling new leaves on trees. I am getting better at choosing joy. And so, although we had some obstacles that made life complicated this week, it was a great week, a happy week.

As far as my resolutions go, I gained some ground around the house this week because I canceled everything we could live without in order to be home with my son. This meant some extra laundry got done (not all of it folded, though… got to fix that!), the kitchen has stayed extra clean because I’m emptying the dishwashers so quickly, and several areas were reorganized and cleaned out. I am also working actively to help my children stay on top of their responsibilities around the house in spite of the crazy spring schedules, something I’ve usually thrown to the wind in Aprils past.

In most of my flowerbeds I’m caught up on the weeding, although in others I’ve got little jungles to deal with. I planted a bunch of seeds this week (late, I know, but I’m going to try anyway) to meet my goal of starting most of our garden from seed this year. We had a lot of plans for the gardens and future garden areas over spring break that were postponed due to the broken ankle. We’ll have to see when time and money allow for them to be tackled, so some of my garden plans may be altered. I planted some Bells of Ireland seeds, which was a specific item on my gardening goals list for 2012. I am also thrilled to see that almost everything I planted last year appears to be growing back with vigor. There are only three plants that don’t seem to be making it, and I’m pleased with how things are looking. There is one area of the yard that I look at and think, “I did this!” and it makes my heart skip a beat. It also gives me motivation to keep working at the areas that are dismally far from how I envision them.

My sewing goals are coming along. I’m a little behind on them, but really it’s amazing that I’m finding 10 minutes here and there as often as I am. It’s such a great outlet for me and I’m grateful to be learning a lot of new things this year. Most of the quilts I’ve begun are baby gifts, also a good thing. I need to get more of these done BEFORE the baby arrives, not a month or more after the birth.

My goals for exercise have been largely deferred to life’s hectic schedule. I know I’ll be able to fix it easily when school is out but would like to tackle it sooner. May is going to require careful planning but I’m hoping to at least be out walking most days. The house is pretty much the same. Getting better but needs work.

The goals that haunt me most are the goals about who I’m becoming, how I’m managing my roles as wife and mother, how I’m doing with teaching my children. In this area I am really trying. It takes time to build new habits but I won’t give up. I’ll share more about what I’m learning soon. This area is related to that big stack of “homework” I have for myself.

It hasn’t been an easy year so far. In fact, many things about this year make laugh when I consider that I picked Joy as the thing to work on. It seemed ironic that life got a whole lot harder as soon as I declared myself, but I suppose that’s part of life. In some ways this roller coaster few months has made my goal even more important than I thought it was. You have to find things to be happy about. Period.

So tonight I am happy about a bunch of things. I’m happy that the kitchen is clean, that there’s a gentle breeze blowing through my window, that everyone has their uniform for tomorrow ready to go, that we got to wish my Dad and Mother-in-law Happy Birthdays today, that we had a lot of funny little things to laugh at. I’m happy I get to sleep in my own bed tonight, happy that I can walk on both my feet, happy that I have so many people to hug and love. Most of all, I’m happy that I have a Savior who gives meaning to all things in my life. I am so blessed!

Have a great week!
Jennifer

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April 26, 2012
by jennifer
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Bouquet from my garden

I’ve been a miserable failure on my birthday resolutions this year, hitting only a small handful of special dates on time. I’ve got to do a better job of planning ahead for these!

I did manage, on Saturday, to put together a bouquet of flowers for a friend whose birthday is in April. I am loving these double tulips from my flowerbeds.

The double tulips make me anxious to see how my peonies do this year. These showy blooms are so beautiful!

And my birthday observations really need to improve.

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