When I Grow Up…

I walked around the corner last week to find my youngest on the floor, trying to “tape” herself and put her sister’s soccer socks on.  She kept at it until she’d pulled them up her legs and had her feet in big sister’s cleats.  Then she found an old jersey and donned it as a soccer “dress” of sorts.  Her big sisters got a kick out of the display and tied the shirt so she wouldn’t trip, then put her hair in a pony tail.

Then she was outside for the game, talking nonstop about what she was doing and pausing occasionally to ask questions like “Is that cool?”  We laughed and shook our heads as she carried on.   Really, it still surprises me sometimes that she is my 8th and yet is so totally different from all the others, a brand all her own.  In some ways I feel like my experience really helps with her and in others I’m at a total loss.  She is so unique.

She wants so badly to be big, to be doing all the things the big kids do.  {She’s pretty good at painting her own fingernails already, as she can find nail polish hidden anywhere.  Scary!}  She wants to be like them, and she thought that putting on all the stuff would make her big and fast and strong like they are.

I sat there, laughing and loving her and then it hit me that in some ways I’m just like her.  I’m trying so hard to do things, but still have much to learn and much growing to do before I’ll be the girl I mean to be.  Sometimes I feel like I’m all outfitted like a mom, but still fumble and trip as I try to actually do it.

She wants to grow up and play soccer, go to school, make cupcakes, be a Mom.

I want to grow up too, and be the Mom I intended to be, the Mom my kids deserve, the Mom that God gave me the potential to be.    Like her, I have yet to grow into the shoes I want to fill, but with faith and prayer and time it just might happen.

Aren’t I lucky I have them to help me do it?

Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow to all of you who love and care for children in any way.  May we all spend the day feeling grateful for noble and inspiring women who push us to be better, and may we place emphasis on those things in our lives which are of lasting value and importance.


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