One Step Report #38

This picture is  a pretty good snapshot of our week.

It’s been a week packed full of expected things, made busier and more complicated by a host of unexpected things.  Unexpected things both minor and major in their scope, all of them wearing us down more than anticipated.  Time, thought, schedules, routines have all been shaken up in the process.  Still, during those moments when nothing could be done about the 1,000 things breathing down my neck, we tried to breathe deeply and just live in the moment.  Traditionally I’m not very good at doing that, but I’m consciously working on it and am slowly improving.  Looking back at the week, it was probably those moments of life and breath that saved us.

This week’s report:  72 steps.
Highlights:

1.  My eyes and heart feasted on the sky this week.  With all the time spent working in the yard, plus many hours of driving and soccer games, I had countless moments of glancing at the sky.  Each glance fed my spirit, a feast I needed.

2.  I’m getting better at being my own cheerleader, boosting myself back up when I feel discouraged.  Early in the week I had a tough morning with the little ones, and was tempted to let frustration and discouragement fill my heart.  Instead of give in, I listed over and over to myself all of the good things about motherhood as I cleaned the house.   It worked.  When I was done, I realized I had not only a tidy house but that my heart was full of gratitude and faith in my calling as a mother.

3.  It’s running shamefully late, but I managed to baste a baby quilt for a friend.  It was, perhaps, the most interesting basting experience of my life thanks to my four year old who sat on my back and kept raining safety pins down on my head while I worked.  It’s funny how much I dislike basting, yet love the look of a quilt covered in pins, all ready to go.

4.  The whole week changed with an early morning phone call on Thursday announcing the sudden and unexpected passing of my Uncle Dennis.  I still feel stunned.  The thoughts, feelings and memories that have followed created an interesting emotional backdrop and lens through which to measure many of the activities that filled the week.  A lot to ponder.

5.  I had a good bedtime talk with one of my daughters who was in tears because she feels stress over so many things.  I couldn’t help but think how much she is like me, worrying about things that many give no thought to.  She is a really wonderful little girl and I felt blessed to be her listening ear for a few minutes.

6.  Yesterday I piled my youngest two girls and my oldest girl, along with a couple of other soccer players and we drove to Logan for a game.  It was a great drive, a great game, a gorgeous day.  We stopped at the coolest vintage McDonald’s ever, ate lunch at the Old Grist Mill, and spent some time hanging out with my sister and her husband in their cute old house.  It was a really nice day.

7.  I must also mention that my littlest ones were absolute angels on the trip to Logan.  All day long.  I have never seen two little ones be so sweet, happy and entertaining for so many hours.  At the end of the day I told my two year old daughter, “You were really sweet today, and I think you made a lot of big people really love you.  I’m proud of you.”  Her response, “I’m really proud of you too.  I am.”

As I look back at the week I’m somewhat amazed that we managed to keep so many commitments, get to so many activities and stay on top of so many things.  It really was a mind-boggling week.  I feel a little bit anxious because what I desperately need is some down time to plan, prepare and carefully weigh things, but there simply isn’t time for them and as I look at the calendar EVERY SINGLE DAY is like this for the next 2 weeks.  Will we make it?

I hope so.

Actually, I know so.  It may get ugly (actually, one glance at my laundry room says that it already is) but we’ll make it, and hopefully find a few minutes here and there to live in the moment, breathe deeply, and laugh.

That’s my goal.

Have a great week.

Jennifer

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