My Dream Vacation
The dreamiest thing I can imagine would be to send my entire family away on some vacation to have a fabulous time….
and to stay home ALONE.
Yep. That’s what I want.
I watch my friends go on getaways, see women head off to retreats, and although they sound wonderful I really don’t want to go. Why? Because although it’s a nice break, I know that when I get back the hole will only be deeper. Getting away isn’t solving my problem; it’s hiding it from myself.
I want one full week alone in my house.
I want to clean it, organize it, and then have it stay that way while I move on to other projects that I never get to because I’m forever preparing food, cleaning up food, washing clothes, putting away clothes, picking up clothes…. you get the picture.
I want to have my kitchen counters stay clean for more than 5 minutes.
I want to clean my basement.
I want to read a book without worrying that I’ll forget to pick someone up.
I want to go through pictures, school papers, memories, and be able to sort & organize them without helpers.
I want to purge my house without input from 8 children.
I want to sleep.
I want to gather myself, get things in order for the long term, and prepare for the road ahead.
I want quiet.
And on the hard days when I really let myself dream of what I’d do, I start to think, “Hmmm. One week might not be enough! I might need two!” And then I quickly remind myself that I’d better just shoot for one, or my husband might send the children back ALONE because he needed some space, too. And I really like him and would most definitely want him to come back WITH them. So I’m okay with one week.
Yes, crazy lady that I am, I want to be home alone.
The funny thing is that there is probably nothing that is less likely to happen in my life. Not for years and years and years.
Still, I can dream…