Category: Yearly Goals

I wish I knew how to describe my feelings tonight.  My mind is spinning, my heart full of hope and longing.  Do you ever feel like you’ve had a conceptual glimpse of where your life COULD be, and you know deep inside that it NEEDS to get there, for the sake of your children and your own potential?


I know that we need that higher plane, and I also KNOW, absolutely KNOW that the potential is within me to reach it.  But it is soooo hard to translate these mountaintop moments into the everyday mud.  So hard to be content with just the few steps immediately in front of me when I long to race to the top.


I have been taught many things today, been fed at least a dozen different things that I must somehow grasp and learn how they fit together in practice for myself and my family.  I love experiences like this.  I struggle because too often they end with me groping in the dark for what was on the very edge of my understanding before the demands of 8 children jumped back in my lap and the tutoring moment ended.  Today I made a list, and I’m hoping that somehow tonight’s illumination will end differently, for at least I have a plan.

I feel alive with the desire to learn!

My report:  65 steps.  I’m grateful for them, for a few of them felt significant.
Highlights:

1.  This is nothing to be proud of, but it’s humorous so I’m sharing it anyway.  In the last two weeks we’ve had so many random little injuries that I’m wondering if the whole family needs to be locked in a padded room until it passes!  Cut lips, choking, near broken nose, a fall down cement steps, countless knee scrapes… it’s been really strange but I’m also grateful it hasn’t been more serious.

2.  We were able to get our son in to see a hand specialist.  He’ll be having surgery on Tuesday to insert a pin, which should guarantee full mobility down the road.  We hope all goes well.

3.  I was able to clean out half of our garage.  Good news!  The funny thing is that it was done a month ago… we won’t dwell on what that says about our family maintenance skills.

4.  On three separate occasions I had the opportunity to talk with women that I admire very much, two of which I haven’t seen in too long.  It’s wonderful to connect with amazing people here and there, and I always feel uplifted.

5.  A couple of weeks ago I read the following quote.  “Patience teaches us that this precise moment is tolerable.  As we respond to what this moment requires of us, the future will take care of itself.” (Wendy Ulrich, “Weakness is not Sin”)  At least three times this week I felt completely overwhelmed by homework, crying toddlers, hungry children and the lateness of the hour.  I remembered this quote and literally walked around repeating to myself  “this moment is tolerable, this moment is tolerable.”  It got me through!  Each time I was able to get through the stressful moments without acting in a negative way.

6.  Several times this week I paused with my children to enjoy the weather.  The spring I’ve been hoping for seems to have arrived.  I’m so thankful each time I sight a bit more green.


7.  My daughter and I attended a fun mother/daughter activity together.  I enjoy spending time with her.

Well, it’s late and I’ve got an intense morning ahead of me.  Oh, how I hope to climb high this week!  I hope you have great success in your endeavors.

Wishing you well, Jennifer

Once again, here I am with my weekly progress report on my goal for 2010.  One Step is a promise to myself that, instead of measuring myself by all the things I DON’T get done, I will focus each day on the little things that I AM able to do.  I keep a journal, recording the things I’ve accomplished at the end of each day.  I promised myself  one step each day toward a better me and a stronger family.  Anything more than that is icing on the cake.  This process is doing something interesting for me.   In addition to helping me overcome my tendency to live in the gap between my expectations and my performance, it is also helping me to recognize that real change takes time.  For the first time in my life, I feel like time is on my side.  Oh, I’m not wishing to rush through life, but I recognize that each week lived is a week of learning and hopefully a week of moving “ever forward, but slowly” to where I feel I need to be.    At the end of the year, I hope to look back and discover that I’ve become a happier, healthier, more balanced me.

Ok, here I go.  This week’s steps:  71 steps.  I’ll take it.

Highlights:

1.  After spending several hours in doctor’s offices, we found a great specialist who was able to confirm that my daughter’s ankle is NOT chipped, and that the soft tissue injury should heal well on its own.  Relief!  (I’m hoping that my son’s finger injury will end happily, simply and inexpensively also.)

2.  I finished a book and started another one that I’m enjoying.

3.  A hard thing happened this week.  I had a lot of thinking to do.  I feel like I’ve sorted through it well, learned positive lessons about how I can improve, and managed not to harbor hard feelings as a result.  Victory!

4.  Another brother and his boys spent a few days visiting us.  I had some great conversations with him, and loved having his sons here with us.  I especially loved reading them to sleep a couple of times.  A special memory for me.




5.  On Monday when my parents were still in town I jumped in the car with them and we went to a couple of fun shops.  I can’t remember the last time it was just me with my Mom and Dad, and I enjoyed it.

6.  I tried a new recipe and shared another one with friends.

7.  I’ve been focusing on being aware of my feelings, and trying not to let my heart shrivel up and withdraw when I feel tired, sad, discouraged, stressed, etc.  Today at Church I was having one of those mornings when so many little things go wrong that you feel like a loser, and I was tempted to just let my heart shrivel into self-protect mode.  I recognized what was happening and forced myself to open my heart, engage in what was going on around me, talk to the people sitting nearby and just try to learn how they were really doing.  It worked!  I learned some things I didn’t know, chatted with a friend I haven’t seen enough lately, connected with two women I really like, and discovered that two other women I know share a hobby:  quilting.  Hooray for having an open heart!

8.  I wrote some thank you notes, wrote in one daughter’s journal, and went back and filled in the gaps in our family guest book.

9.  Last night my husband and I went to dinner with some friends we really admire.  We then took them to this year’s BYU Ballroom Dance performance.  Wow.  We’ve attended this event every year for 8 or 9 years now, and love it.  This year’s performance did not disappoint.


This week was spring break, and we’ve also had company in town for 9 of the last 10 days.  I don’t think any of us feel ready for what’s about to hit tomorrow morning, so my last step for the week is to swallow the stress, go to bed and face it in the morning!

I hope the coming week is full of sunshine and purposeful steps in the direction of your dreams!

Jennifer

April, here we are!  I feel like I’m headed up the last big hill before the home stretch.  The big hill consists of my taxi driver schedule with 5 soccer players, 3 gymnasts, 4 piano students, etc. etc. and the last 2 months of school.   It’s going to get insane, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  If only the sun would shine a little more!

This week:  66 steps.
Summary for the month of March:  353 steps.

A few highlights:

1.  My brother, his wife and three children drove from Spokane Washington to spend a few days with us.  It was SOOOO great to see them, to have our children play together, to visit and enjoy being together!  I loved it.  My only regret:  I was so busy enjoying myself and the children that I forgot to get out my camera like I intended to do.  I also forgot to have them sign the guest book.  Bummer!

2.  My parents also flew into town to spend a few days.  This meant that my other three brothers who currently live in Utah came over a few times, and my 5th brother flew into town to surprise us.  This meant that on Saturday night I had my parents and all 5 of my brothers in my home!  SO GREAT.  It also made me miss my sisters.  I’m grateful, though, that I have really awesome sisters-in-law who are so much fun to be around.

3.  Because we had company, my house got much cleaner this week than I typically manage.  That is always a good thing, especially when all 5 bathrooms are clean AT THE SAME TIME.

4.  I walked into my bathroom this week and saw this:


My oldest daughter had turned the bathroom into a salon and was doing everyone’s hair… at the same time.  Every source of water had a head uncomfortably under it.


The girls all came downstairs looking lovely, but I have to share this picture that my daughter took.  It’s out of focus, but still so funny.


This was by far the most memorable hairdo of the day:


Creativity certainly makes some messes, but I’m a fan of good, old-fashioned fun!

5.  We re-discovered a childrens book that I had forgotten about.

6.  Because I am LDS, I spent 8 hours this weekend sitting with my family to watch General Conference.  I feel anxious to study the messages I heard and work much harder to strengthen my family.

7.  While watching, I made progress on the binding of a quilt I’ve been working on for a long time.

8.  I’m joining my sister in a little 10 week challenge.  It should be fun.

9.  My parents bought some baby chicks for my children as an Easter memory.  My dad remembers the chicks being for sale everywhere before Easter when he was a kid, even at gas stations.  It was fun to watch the chicks and to watch my children watching the chicks.   I’m on a mission to get some great pictures if someone would just remove the gray paint that has been plastered to the Utah sky this winter.




10.  Thanks to my Mom and Dad, along with some “Bunny Servants” as my oldest son dubbed us, we had a really fun little egg hunt for the children on Saturday.  It was so cute to watch them run around filling their baskets.  I wish I had a picture of my oldest son taking my book page wreath off the wall to hunt for his egg, not seeing the egg, searching for the thumb tack that fell while he held the egg behind his back in plain sight for all of us who were silently laughing before he saw it.  The things kids will endure to find an egg with a bit of money in it!

Overall, I feel very thankful for the gift of time spent with family.  Relationships are what matter most, and this week was full of opportunities to renew and strengthen relationships.  What a blessing!  I’m also thankful that this next week is spring break in our school district, for that means I can let the children sleep in tomorrow and hope they catch up on their rest before more cousins hit town in a few days!   It should be busy but fun.

I hope your Easter weekend was wonderful.  I’ve never been so thankful for Jesus Christ as I am at this point in my life.  I am grateful for so many opportunities to grow and change from the inside out.

Wishing you a great week, Jennifer