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Joy, week 34

August 26, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

It is such a joy to pause here, at the close of my Sabbath day. My heart is full to overflowing and I echo the psalmist who wrote, “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24) What a week we had! Six children off to school in new grades, with new teachers, one of them at a new school and one of them attending all day for the first time. We’re not in the groove yet but are well on our way. We have yet to work through the tired stage when the newness wears off and the exhaustion sets in, but once that is done we should settle in. It is interesting to watch different children handle the stress and excitement in various ways, a reminder to me as a mother that they need me to respond to each of them differently. They belong to the same family but are vastly different people.

Thursday night provided an opportunity to be a friend. I spent an hour visiting with one of the best women I know about some significant challenges she has faced for a long time. We cried together and I love her so much.

The week flew by and we headed into a weekend which turned out to be so packed with good things that I’ve hardly held still in days. I am exhausted but so very happy. Friday my husband and I celebrated 16 years of marriage! (That number is starting to sound big, and yet I don’t feel old.) I’ve been smiling to myself all weekend that I’m so lucky to have him. I can honestly say that in all those years there has never been a moment of doubt; he’s been the right man every single day and I’m so thankful that while life has taken a toll in other areas, it has never come between us. He is my best friend.

Saturday morning I threw a party for my daughter’s soccer team. I had 3 days notice to pull it off, and this was a busy week. No big deal for some people, but it was stressful for me. The coach ended up leaving town, other parents couldn’t come, and it looked like it would be me and 15 8th grade girls, only 4 whose names I know. They attend at least 7 different schools and the only thing I know they have in common is soccer, but I had 2 hours to fill with non-soccer activities for them. I combed the internet for ideas, brainstormed activities, and yes, prayed for help. I had the idea to call a good friend, took frantic notes while she rattled off several ideas, got off the phone and literally jumped for joy (and relief). I was able to combine all the ideas, did some hunting at dollar stores to find what I needed and it all came together. We had an awesome party. All of the girls were laughing almost the entire time. They walked away with new memories and better friendships. The biggest hit of the day? A game we played with a plastic rat. Yes, you read that right. When the party was over they organized a second round and played until their parents dragged them away.

I’ve always stressed over parties. I’ve never felt as comfortable in a large group as I feel in one-on-one interactions, so I’m intimidated by planning for the big groups because I don’t like them. This is an area where I’ve known I need to grow, especially for my kids, and I would like to make it a strength instead of a weakness. Thanks to the help of a friend, many hours of planning, and help from the Lord, I feel like I took a huge step forward in that area. To my surprise, I’m excited about doing another one, and am considering offering to do one for my younger daughter’s team. I’m going to start a file and a box of supplies so I can get really good at it. What a happy blessing!

I came home from the party to rescue the house from a week of wild and my brother and his two boys flew into town. It was great to see them and fun to watch the boys run like a little wolf pack together. We also had teenagers and neighbors over, so it was fun to have a couple dozen people running around having fun all day. They flew out this morning, so it was a quick trip, but we loved having them here.

That brings me to today. {Happy sigh.} Have you ever had a great idea, an idea so great it could only come from a loving Heavenly Father, and you knew it was the right thing to do, but you needed a lot of people to buy in to make it work? Well, I had one of those ideas. A year ago today, to be exact. When I wrote down my goals for the year I penciled it in and a couple of weeks ago I crossed my fingers and set the ball rolling. To my delight, everyone else was as excited about it as I was, and we had a huge surprise birthday party in my backyard tonight for a very special lady. I’ve been smiling all day. I watched this sweet lady walk around at church today in her simple way and say “Hello! Today’s my birthday!” and everyone greeted her with a twinkle in their eyes and we all looked at each other with a special smile because we knew something she didn’t. It worked. It was like a dream come true. I got down on my knees and cried tears of joy for a simple idea and for wonderful people who ran with it. What a lucky girl I am!

So the weekend is over and I’m headed to bed later than I’d like (again). It occurred to me tonight that there are probably a few unfinished math assignments in backpacks because we’ve ran so crazy all weekend that I never asked or checked. Such is life. We’ll do extra work tomorrow and I’m happy with the trade because I’m going to bed with a smile on my face.

And a head full of ideas. We have more celebrating to do next weekend.

Life is so, so good.
Jennifer

Joy, weeks 32 & 33 (slacker again!)

August 19, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

I missed a week again! Oh well. At least I have a new picture to show for it, one that is more joyful than those I took in January, as it came at the end of a perfect week before we turned our heads homeward.

It’s our last night. Tomorrow everything shifts when four of my children go back to school. The oldest two will follow suit on Tuesday. Either I’m in denial or I’m experiencing one of God’s little miracles as my heart is not so full of worries and stress as it usually is. Returning from vacation earlier this week, we were immediately flung into the time crunch of a soccer tournament and much did not get done, yet my heart is calm. I guess I’ve sent children to school enough to know that the years when we’re ultra organized and the years when life is still whirling at the end of August have little difference between them once you jump in. Either way you get wet. Some things go smoothly, some surprise you and soon everyone is adjusted.

I think I learned some things at the beach, things I’ve been trying to learn for years, and yet finally they are at work in my mind, heart and day. This year has been a difficult one for many reasons, but perhaps the thing that makes life most difficult is when what you’ve dreamed, planned or expected doesn’t happen, or when the opposite of those things compose the life you end up living. Much prayer, reading, thought and some hard lessons are beginning to teach me something: the path I’m walking may be nothing like I pictured, but I can praise the Lord that there is a path , that He knows where it leads, and therefore I can receive whatever He gives me as a good gift because He is good. I have wasted too much energy fighting for the path I always wanted, the one I pictured, the one I always felt I was working for. There is a path and that is enough. I cannot see what is around each bend in that path, but I can trust that He will clear the way when necessary and help us over the obstacles the rest of the time. I guess I’m learning a new level of faith, and instead of fighting against the way things have played out I feel acceptance. I don’t deserve any of the blessings that I have and yet He gives them so freely.

I’ve often thought, as a dear friend once said, that God’s economy is one of abundance. Lately I’m coming to understand that the currency is love. Where time or money or health or any other thing may be in short supply, love can always exist in abundance if we just choose it . And if love is the currency, then relationships are the goal. I look around me at all the personalities, all the needs, all the different sizes and stages that fill our lives and tears prick at my eyes. Each of these children is precious to me. As we cast one fleeting, backwards glance at a summer spent together, I turn forward with a heart full of hope. I hope I can keep this feeling with me. I hope I can use all the craziness of the school year to give love in abundance and create stronger relationships. I hope, I hope, I hope. And I have faith we will move forward.

There are a hundred things I want to share here, things both trivial and meaningful. I’m hoping to make a fresh start here as we get back in a good routine. As for my goals, there are many little things I’ve let go of, but the essence of my efforts is alive and well. I am learning to find joy in everyday life, to find more to laugh and smile at, more to be grateful for. I have one specific goal I set for August and today we set the ball rolling on it. It’s a project that will take a lot of people to make it work but so far everyone seems to be enthusiastic and I am thrilled. I feel so good about this idea! We also have an important family event in the next two weeks which I hope to pull together successfully. If I can do those two things and work toward a healthy fall schedule I will be satisfied.

The evening approaches and the sky turns gray as the sun settles beneath the horizon. The big kids are cleaning up dinner in the kitchen and it’s a rare night when they’re cooperating. I love listening to their voices as they work. In the room where I sit the younger children begin to tidy up, bringing a smile to my face as they work. My youngest climbs across a chair precariously to settle in my lap (on top of my computer), stick her face fully in mine, wrap her arms around my neck and give a big kiss. She climbs down, runs around, and finds a new direction from which to climb until she’s distracted by a toy. In a few minutes we’ll read the scriptures together and kneel in family prayer, then tuck them in for a big day tomorrow. I love this feeling. It’s the feeling of family, and it feels great!

God bless you in your week, Jennifer

Joy, week 31 (the two days tardy edition)

August 7, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

Yep, it’s Tuesday. I’m popping in for a quick update on last week. It was a whirlwind week, jumping from our reunion the weekend before to all sorts of action. We got our oldest two off on a three day re-enactment of Mormon pioneer handcart companies in Wyoming, celebrated a special birthday, spent three days driving back and forth to Park City UT for a soccer tournament and got ready for a family vacation.

The usual preparations for a trip felt a little bigger this time because my oldest helpers were out of town and so many things were going on, but the laundry got done, the fridge got scrubbed out, the mail put on hold, a drip line installed in the backyard flowerbed that I reclaimed from the weeds and planted some things in. I had things tidy but that was quickly reversed when we picked up the oldest two from their trek and their supplies were somehow strewn all over the house while they showered and got packed for another trip in an hour. Leaving on a trip makes me feel absolutely frantic sometimes, and this time was no different. There is so much to do, so much to arrange, and I always want to leave our home perfect so that I feel good about myself when we come home. I did my best, but the clock kept ticking and when we finally hit the freeway it was 11:15 p.m. NOT a great time to start a 12 hour drive.

We made it, and all that frantic stress has been washed away with the tide. I took two naps on Sunday because I couldn’t keep my eyes open and now we’re feeling much better.

No real progress on most of my goals last week, just 100% dealing with urgent matters. My only goal this week is to relax and enjoy the moment. I have some books to read, a husband to sit next to, some kids to love, sand between my toes and the colors of the great blue ocean to soak in. To quote my four year old every time she’s excited about something, “Heaven!”

Have a great week!

Jennifer