parenting Archives - Page 5 of 20

Still

May 23, 2012 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

I thought I’d share a pretty view in my living room. I’m loving the freedom to cut fresh peonies from my yard whenever I’m in the mood.

This shot implies a sense of stillness and beauty, something we really don’t have going on here. It belies the craziness we’re living. But that stillness is what I’m craving. I wish I had time to sit there for a while and listen to the wonderfully cool breeze as it blows through a nearby window. I remind myself that I DID get a moment of stillness, for I paused to take a picture of it.

In a little while my six year old has a kindergarten field trip to go on. I’m planning to join him with my two little girls, as it is to a local animal farm of sorts. They’ll all love it, and I’ve always gone in the past, but I’m having a bit of an inner battle over it this year.

That migraine I had was actually a double-whammy. It was a migraine plus an abscessed tooth, requiring an emergency root canal on Monday and resulting in a very sore jaw and a much needed prescription for antibiotics. I’m happy to be on this end of the pain, but wish I was feeling a little more jaunty than I am.

I’m soooo behind. The laundry is piling up everywhere. I’m not sure what we’re eating for dinner tonight. My ongoing stomach ache is due to one of four sources: the antibiotic, the pain medication, not being able to eat much for several days, or stress over all the projects that need to be completed by my students in the next two days. And those next two days also hold things like soccer tryouts, team dinners and piano recitals, to name a few. It’s so tough when the homework time doesn’t hit until 8 or 9 p.m. Probably it’s all four that are making me sick.

I’m not complaining. This is life, and I know I’m privileged to live it. It’s just that sometimes life isn’t what we plan for. Strange how that works, isn’t it?

So my inner debate all morning has been whether I throw the towel in for another day and head on the field trip, or skip the field trip and try to recover some part of the house, some part of the life I’m supposed to be maintaining. I look around and think I can’t possibly afford another day of neglect, and then I look at my kids and think I can’t possibly miss this. Next year he’ll be in first grade! It will be my first year with only two children home all day. I look at those girls and want to cry…. how can I possibly be headed out of this stage so soon? Yes, I’ve enjoyed it much longer than many moms, but still, how does it happen so quickly?

The debate is settled. We’re going on the field trip. The messes will still be here when I get home and I’ll deal with them then.

Better go get ready!

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Undaunted

May 17, 2012 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

It’s going to be another crazy day in another crazy week, but I’m pausing to write for a minute from the heart.

I can’t count the number of moms I’ve spoken to recently who have mentioned that life is “really getting to them” lately. For those of us with children in school, it’s the month of last minute projects, concerts, recitals, tryouts, registration, programs, testing, finals, games, practices, etc. So much of the entire year is decided in May. Most of your summer plans must be finalized by now, and most of what your children will be involved in come September must also be taken care of. It’s a crazy month.

Personally, I feel like I’ve been swinging back and forth between desperate and joyful, experiencing everything in between. I’ve been reminded of the saying “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” I think a lot of us are doing that right now. All the ups and downs combined with the exhaustion of this month has made me look more carefully at myself, made me realize that I need to toughen up. It’s going to work out, so I need to be steadier.

I’ve had occasion to re-read the stories of some of my ancestors in the past two weeks. Sarah Adelaide gave up her family for her religion. Mary walked across the plains pregnant, with a two year old. Elizabeth crossed the plains as a girl, wearing out her shoes along the way but she didn’t stop walking. They wrapped her bloody feet in rags and they finished the journey. They buried children, buried husbands, and kept going. Many of them were poor, and yet in their own extremities they found ways to lift the burdens of others. I read their stories, feel the greatness of their spirits, and wonder what they would tell me about feeling overwhelmed by things as trivial as soccer games, dirty bathrooms or homework assignments!

This morning I read a quote by Jerry Falwell, Sr. It says, “You do not measure a man’s greatness by his talent or wealth, as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage him.”

Isn’t that a great thought? I want to be someone who closes the door firmly on discouragement and keeps going. It’s one thing to be strong when you’re rested and quite another to be strong when you’re weary. What does it take to discourage me? An honest assessment tells me I have distance to travel to get there, but that is a kind of greatness we can all achieve. Few of us will be renowned for our talents or our wealth, but we CAN be undaunted. We CAN press forward courageously and optimistically, no matter what.

As I’ve been studying my large stack of books which deal largely with human behavior, a thought has been parading through my mind for weeks. It is this: “We don’t feel our way to better behavior. We behave our way to better feelings” -Dr. James Lehman. In today’s world where so many of us quit doing or never start because of our feelings, it is important to understand that we’ll get much farther in life if we act the way we need to act and in so doing improve the way we feel instead of giving up because it doesn’t feel right that day.

I want to be courageous, undaunted. I will refuse to be discouraged by small things. I can do this.

Care to join me?
Jennifer

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When I Grow Up…

May 12, 2012 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

I walked around the corner last week to find my youngest on the floor, trying to “tape” herself and put her sister’s soccer socks on. She kept at it until she’d pulled them up her legs and had her feet in big sister’s cleats. Then she found an old jersey and donned it as a soccer “dress” of sorts. Her big sisters got a kick out of the display and tied the shirt so she wouldn’t trip, then put her hair in a pony tail.

Then she was outside for the game, talking nonstop about what she was doing and pausing occasionally to ask questions like “Is that cool?” We laughed and shook our heads as she carried on. Really, it still surprises me sometimes that she is my 8th and yet is so totally different from all the others, a brand all her own. In some ways I feel like my experience really helps with her and in others I’m at a total loss. She is so unique.

She wants so badly to be big, to be doing all the things the big kids do. {She’s pretty good at painting her own fingernails already, as she can find nail polish hidden anywhere. Scary!} She wants to be like them, and she thought that putting on all the stuff would make her big and fast and strong like they are.

I sat there, laughing and loving her and then it hit me that in some ways I’m just like her. I’m trying so hard to do things, but still have much to learn and much growing to do before I’ll be the girl I mean to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m all outfitted like a mom, but still fumble and trip as I try to actually do it.

She wants to grow up and play soccer, go to school, make cupcakes, be a Mom.

I want to grow up too, and be the Mom I intended to be, the Mom my kids deserve, the Mom that God gave me the potential to be. Like her, I have yet to grow into the shoes I want to fill, but with faith and prayer and time it just might happen.

Aren’t I lucky I have them to help me do it?

Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow to all of you who love and care for children in any way. May we all spend the day feeling grateful for noble and inspiring women who push us to be better, and may we place emphasis on those things in our lives which are of lasting value and importance.

Jennifer