jennifer, Author at Hopeful Homemaker

Joy, week 21

May 27, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

I hardly know what to say tonight as it seems like the week held so much and yet so little. With Memorial Day upon us tomorrow I glanced at my list of things I planned to do before now, things like having a great Memorial Day barbeque menu planned and prepped, things I intended to have organized and planned before school is out, baby gifts that should have been finished and delivered long ago, yardwork that hasn’t been touched. All good things, but none of them essential. I mentioned to my husband the other day that I feel like I’m running out of time to “figure out my life”, and he was no help at all! He merely scoffed, “Figure your life out? Who does that ? Parts of your life, maybe, but nobody has their life figured out.” So that day-dreamy picture of my life figured out, complete with organization and menus and so forth will continue to live in my dreams while we carry on with real life. The good thing is that once upon a time I used that day-dreamy picture to judge myself by, while tonight I just shrug my shoulders. A few hours ago I got to watch my children laugh joyfully as they scampered up and down hills when we visited the cemetery my grandparents are buried at. As they laughed and played and my sister and brother-in-law joked about all the grass stains that were coming home with us, we all smiled and I told them, “Really, though, look at this. I’m so lucky!” And indeed, I am. I’m busy raising children. The other stuff will come someday, or not at all.

It was an interesting week, kind of all over the place. I’m going to just make a list of things that brought joy to my heart this week and we’ll leave it at that.

– A trip to Farm country with my three youngest kids, complete with a massive tantrum from my two year old when she didn’t get to ride on the BIGGEST horse for her pony ride, a lost wallet, some stress, a found wallet and much relief/gratitude that everything was still in it. Talk about an answered prayer!

– A soccer tryout that went well, as in the best possible scenario was what we ended with. Hooray!

– A surprise visit from a friend, whom I caught leaving food on my front porch. Humbling, but also very touching. I don’t deserve the blessing of knowing such incredible women, but I’m thankful for it every day.

– A piano recital that went well. I believe it was the first time we didn’t have to take a noisy baby/toddler out to calm down.

– Trips in the rain to get Slurpees for my kids. A fun memory.

– A conversation with a good friend. She’s moving soon, which makes me sad, but again… I’m so lucky to have friends!

– A conversation with my sister on her birthday. Love that gal!

– My first night of sleeping for six hours without being awakened by pain in my jaw/head. Antibiotics are a good thing!

– Several projects/major assignments that were completed and turned in at school. I don’t know who’s more relieved to have them done with, me or the kids.

– A clean toy room.

– The antics of my two year old who is — I’m not kidding here — as busy as three toddlers combined. Oh, I should have a running recording of the things that comes out of that girl’s mouth, and a camera of her dancing and waving her arms around as she talks to herself ALL. DAY. LONG. And I’m totally in love with her pig tails.

– Errands with the youngest three, who were remarkably cheerful and sweet that afternoon.

– Drawing pictures of my four year old in one of her notebooks at least once every 30 minutes today. She always wants her hair to be curly even though it’s not. So cute!

– A trip to the cemetery to visit the graves of ancestors on my father’s side of the family. A beautiful afternoon.

– The look on my sister’s face when she opened her birthday present this afternoon. More on that soon.

And last but not least would be the feeling of total calm that I have tonight for the simple reason that I don’t have to get everyone off to school in the morning. Oh happy day!

Have a great week!

Jennifer

Still

May 23, 2012 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

I thought I’d share a pretty view in my living room. I’m loving the freedom to cut fresh peonies from my yard whenever I’m in the mood.

This shot implies a sense of stillness and beauty, something we really don’t have going on here. It belies the craziness we’re living. But that stillness is what I’m craving. I wish I had time to sit there for a while and listen to the wonderfully cool breeze as it blows through a nearby window. I remind myself that I DID get a moment of stillness, for I paused to take a picture of it.

In a little while my six year old has a kindergarten field trip to go on. I’m planning to join him with my two little girls, as it is to a local animal farm of sorts. They’ll all love it, and I’ve always gone in the past, but I’m having a bit of an inner battle over it this year.

That migraine I had was actually a double-whammy. It was a migraine plus an abscessed tooth, requiring an emergency root canal on Monday and resulting in a very sore jaw and a much needed prescription for antibiotics. I’m happy to be on this end of the pain, but wish I was feeling a little more jaunty than I am.

I’m soooo behind. The laundry is piling up everywhere. I’m not sure what we’re eating for dinner tonight. My ongoing stomach ache is due to one of four sources: the antibiotic, the pain medication, not being able to eat much for several days, or stress over all the projects that need to be completed by my students in the next two days. And those next two days also hold things like soccer tryouts, team dinners and piano recitals, to name a few. It’s so tough when the homework time doesn’t hit until 8 or 9 p.m. Probably it’s all four that are making me sick.

I’m not complaining. This is life, and I know I’m privileged to live it. It’s just that sometimes life isn’t what we plan for. Strange how that works, isn’t it?

So my inner debate all morning has been whether I throw the towel in for another day and head on the field trip, or skip the field trip and try to recover some part of the house, some part of the life I’m supposed to be maintaining. I look around and think I can’t possibly afford another day of neglect, and then I look at my kids and think I can’t possibly miss this. Next year he’ll be in first grade! It will be my first year with only two children home all day. I look at those girls and want to cry…. how can I possibly be headed out of this stage so soon? Yes, I’ve enjoyed it much longer than many moms, but still, how does it happen so quickly?

The debate is settled. We’re going on the field trip. The messes will still be here when I get home and I’ll deal with them then.

Better go get ready!

One comment beauty, parenting

Joy, week 20

May 20, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

It’s almost completely dark outside and the children have turned off all the lights except for two lamps. Six of them are gathered around their Dad on the couch watching videos of tornadoes after asking some questions about them. My little one is curled up next to me, laying her head on her shoulder and whispering things to herself while I type. Dogs bark outside and the cool air wafts through open windows. It’s a happy, cozy night.

We watched the solar eclipse tonight. Clouds masked it from view for a while but we got some good looks at it, which was exciting. It was fun to be outside with so many neighbors, all set with their various tools for watching. My 11 year old’s scout leader gave him some glasses for viewing the eclipse which turned out to be by far the most effective tool. He was generous and shared them with all of us as well as letting 2 or 3 other families take turns. I’m grateful someone keeps track of these things (I don’t!) so we can see such things.

We had a good week, but not enough was accomplished. We finished up two soccer seasons and now have tryouts to deal with. I’m more than a little worried about what needs to be done this week. So much on the calendar, so many things to wrap up at school, recitals, and so forth. We’re so close to being done, but the excitement won’t hit until we’re through these woods. Some things I’m already counting: only 39 more lunches to pack and then I’ll be down to just packing a lunch for my husband. THAT will be nice! Only 8 days left of school. I have so much to do in that time!

Tonight I feel very humble. The migraine has continued and I find myself worn down by the pain, a bit on the emotional side, and very tender hearted. I’m so grateful for the days when I feel good and am anxious for one of those days to hit. I am grateful for good friends and for the patience of my family during these past few days. I am so blessed.

The many goals I have are on the back burner while we survive this month. I’m excited to slow down, re-evaluate, and get back on course.

The whispering of my two year old has given way to the steady breathing of sleep. Across the room on the couch, bodies have curled up and sunk into more relaxed positions and the four year old is sound asleep in the middle of the pile. Night is upon us and we’re going to get some extra sleep before facing life tomorrow.

Good luck to all of us!

Jennifer