2011: The Helpfulness of Habit

Here we are.  The new year has begun and my heart wants to fly, to fly high and soar like an eagle.


I know of no other way to say it.  I want to escape all the silly little things that hold me back and become on the outside who I am deep inside.  I want to reach my full potential.

When I saw the Christmas ornament pictured above, it spoke to me and I knew it was the symbol for my 2011 resolution.  It represents how I want to feel about myself and about my life.

So what’s the resolution, you ask?  Let me explain.

My heart still lingers where it’s been for the past few months.  My greatest desire for myself and my family is to have the arm of God revealed to us in our daily lives, to really see the evidence of his awareness of us, of his love for us, of his intervention in our behalf.  In pondering this desire I’ve also tried to discover what prevents us from recognizing these blessings.  What prevents myself and my family from flying as high as God is willing to take us?  I have prayed and thought about this a great deal.  I’ve also tried to observe our family to see where our biggest holes are.

My conclusion has been that it’s our habits.  Now, we have a lot of great habits as a family, and I’ve got some good ones personally as well.  But the things that weigh me down, that make me discouraged, are usually things that result from either a bad habit  or a lack of  a good habit.

You see, when life is busy or stressful (which is most of the time for most of us) we fall back on our habits, the way of living that we don’t have to think about or invest emotional energy in.  Our habits are what get us through, for better or for worse.  I have concluded that your habits will either make it harder for you to succeed, or they will be helpful to you in reaching the level of  personal excellence you seek.

Therefore, I am going to spend 2011 in pursuit of helpful habits.

Benjamin Franklin said, ” Each year one vicious habit rooted out, in time might make the worst man good throughout.”  While my list is long, I will count the year a success if I have replaced even one weak area with a good habit.
I have chosen to define a helpful habit as a habit that does one or more of the following things:

1.  The habit helps me to feel closer to my Heavenly Father.
2.  The habit helps me become more like my Savior.
3.  The habit removes unnecessary distractions or secondary causes from my life, allowing me to focus on the essential (but rarely urgent) aspects of personal and family life.
4.  The habit helps me to be more useful in serving others and in caring for my family.
5.  The habit directly improves our quality of life in a meaningful way.

Confucius said, “Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.”  My habits will determine how high I can fly.

Now, the more difficult part of the journey ahead of me is in being specific enough to really accomplish what I seek while also allowing for the distractions and detours that come with our family dynamics at this point in time.  I’d love to just run ahead, but I still have a one, three, and four year old at home all day every day, and five older children who require incredible amounts of attention and focus in the after school hours.  I’ve got to shoot high but allow for the fact that first and foremost I am a mother, here to meet the needs of the children God has blessed us with.

So here is my plan.  I have made a list of specific habits I want to develop.  I also have a separate list of some essential habits I feel my children need to develop.   I have gone back and forth over HOW to work on these habits, debating between focusing on one until it’s mastered, then moving on to another OR continuing my One Step style and working on several at a time.  After prayerful consideration, I’ve decided that the One Step style works best with my stage in life but I need to be more purposeful about it than I was in 2010.  Last year taught me that I’m doing a lot of good things, but I’m also doing a lot of responding to life.  Such is the way with babies, but I anticipate that as my little one grows I’ll be able to slowly but surely map out how more of my time is spent.  I feel like I can work on more than one goal at a time and be successful in part because some of the goals are weekly things, items I can slip in once a week while I work on the daily habits.  I don’t want to wait on the weekly habits until the daily things have been mastered when I already have a time slot figured out for the weekly habit.


As I did last year, I’ve purchased a journal.  I ran out of pages in my One Step book so this one is nice and thick.  In it I’ve outlined the habits I’d like to develop and written down how I plan to build them.  I will report daily in my journal, and will also write weekly reports every Sunday as I did last year.  I’m not sure what form the reports will take; I’ll let that come as I get going.  I’ve loved the accountability that came with reporting to myself here on Hopeful Homemaker.  It’s helped me stay motivated and I see no reason to quit.

So there’s the plan.  I could go on for quite a while about the habits I want to work on, but I think I’ll start introducing them in my weekly reports.  I feel grateful to the Lord for guiding me in these thoughts and plans as they seem to be such an appropriate development after my One Step 2010 journey.  I’m excited and optimistic that I can be successful in these efforts as I rely on Him for guidance and help.


Helpful Habits.  I’m ready to fly.  It’s going to be a great year.

Jennifer

This Holiday Brought To You By…



Mom.

It’s one of my favorite parts of being a Mom, but really, if you think about it, without Moms there wouldn’t be many celebrations.  Understand that I say this with great respect and appreciation for my husband who provides financially for our family, whose contributions make possible most of what I do.

I’ve been thinking about the role of Moms in the holiday season, and really we’re responsible for a tremendous amount of what Christmas means to all of us.  As grateful as I am for this privilege, sometimes it’s incredibly heavy.  It isn’t easy to tackle all your usual responsibilities and add the holidays to your list.  Moms are the ones who get up when the gifts have been opened and go to the kitchen.   They’re the ones who plan the menu for meals the rest of the family only thinks about while they’re eating.  They’re the people who clean up the kitchen in time to start the next meal while everyone plays games.


Really, it’s great to be a mom.  I love it.  But tonight I also wanted to say to all you Moms who have, on so many levels, provided holidays and celebrations for your family all year long:  WELL DONE.  I hope you feel good about your efforts.  They’re the things your family will look back on and remember with fondness.

I wasn’t sure if I was up to much for New Year’s Eve, but at the last minute I decided to light the victory candles and go for it.  It’s been a good year, a year I’ve been happy to spend with the nine people I love most.  We needed a proper celebration.

I went for a silvery white feeling, using my sliver dishes, sparkly beaded garland, candles and glass.


Sometimes it’s nice to get out our nicest dishes when it’s just us.  No guests, just the people that matter most.


My little ones were so excited to be using the vintage glass platters I picked up recently.


I served some of our favorite appetizers:  veggies and dip, chips and salsa, cheese and crackers, meatballs and little smokies.


As we ate we talked about things that have happened this year.  Things we’ve accomplished.  Specific blessings God has given us.  It was a wonderful summary of a full year coming from different perspectives.


I feel grateful to have all ten of us together tonight without other plans or parties.  It feels right.  I love these people.


We’re spending the evening gathered in the family room, enjoying the gift of togetherness.  I look forward to another exciting year with this group, and hope that you’re looking forward to a great 2011.


So wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, Happy New Year to you!
Jennifer P.S.  I’ll be back tomorrow with my goal for 2011.  What are yours?

Christmas 2010 recap

There were so many memorable things about our trip to Denver for Christmas.

There are 34 of us in all (and counting!), and we were all together for the first time in more than two and a half years.

We played games, talked together, had pictures taken, played with the children.  And we cooked.  Lots and lots of food.  I intended to take pictures of so many things, but in the end I spent my time running from one thing to another, being a mom, cleaning, cooking, visiting.

We acted out the Nativity on Christmas Eve, letting everyone choose their parts.  I think we had four Marys and three Josephs.   It was short and sweet.  Very sweet.  Especially the angels.


Then the children were tucked in bed, anticipating a visit from Santa.  Our poor baby threw up all night long, making for an interesting development in holiday activities.  Christmas morning dawned with my husband and I exhausted and the children excited.  I was in charge of the meals on Christmas day and in my worry about getting breakfast going I didn’t even get a picture of all eight of my children on Christmas morning!  Shame on me.  Oh well.  Gratefully they were all happy with their gifts.

For what it’s worth, these are my favorites among the shots I managed to take.


She’d asked for a Santa hat.  He shared one with her.


In her new pink nightgown.


Tearing open gifts with lightning speed.


My awesome husband (above) held our vomiting baby ALL DAY LONG so I could oversee Christmas Dinner for 34 people.


Denver Broncos pjs, a coonskin cap and playmobil toys.  Could a boy be happier?


My six year old with her new doll.


My three year old with her new bitty baby and backpack.


The dreamed of dragon now belongs to this boy!

The best part might have come at the last.  My husband hid our oldest son’s gift in the closet next to the broom.  We were all opening gifts when he asked our son to grab the broom and sweep up a little mess.  Of course, the response was “I didn’t make that mess.”  We asked again.  After some convincing, he reluctantly went to get the broom.

I wish I’d thought to turn on my flash sooner, but these blurry shots still capture the essence of what followed.


The broom came out and he almost turned and walked away.  Instead he did a double take.


He sets the broom down and leans back against the wall in disbelief.


Finally he reaches into the closet and pulls out a new snowboard with his name on it.  He walks to the entryway where he stops to laugh in surprise and joy (and his mom gets her camera working properly… why didn’t we video tape this?).


While his Dad stands across the room laughing and smiling that smile that only comes when you do something wonderful for someone because you love them wholeheartedly.


And then I went to the kitchen and before I knew it Christmas was over.  But it was awesome.

Jennifer

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