Undaunted

It’s going to be another crazy day in another crazy week, but I’m pausing to write for a minute from the heart.


I can’t count the number of moms I’ve spoken to recently who have mentioned that life is “really getting to them” lately.  For those of us with children in school, it’s the month of last minute projects, concerts, recitals, tryouts, registration, programs, testing, finals, games, practices, etc.  So much of the entire year is decided in May.  Most of your summer plans must be finalized by now, and most of what your children will be involved in come September must also be taken care of.  It’s a crazy month.


Personally, I feel like I’ve been swinging back and forth between desperate and joyful, experiencing everything in between.  I’ve been reminded of the saying “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”  I think a lot of us are doing that right now.  All the ups and downs combined with the exhaustion of this month has made me look more carefully at myself, made me realize that I need to toughen up.  It’s going to work out, so I need to be steadier.

I’ve had occasion to re-read the stories of some of my ancestors in the past two weeks.  Sarah Adelaide gave up her family for her religion.  Mary walked across the plains pregnant, with a two year old.  Elizabeth crossed the plains as a girl, wearing out her shoes along the way but she didn’t stop walking.  They wrapped her bloody feet in rags and they finished the journey.  They buried children, buried husbands, and kept going.  Many of them were poor, and yet in their own extremities they found ways to lift the burdens of others.  I read their stories, feel the greatness of their spirits, and wonder what they would tell me about feeling overwhelmed by things as trivial as soccer games, dirty bathrooms or homework assignments!

This morning I read a quote by Jerry Falwell, Sr.  It says, “You do not measure a man’s greatness by his talent or wealth, as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage him.”


Isn’t that a great thought?  I want to be someone who closes the door firmly on discouragement and keeps going.  It’s one thing to be strong when you’re rested and quite another to be strong when you’re weary.  What does it take to discourage me?  An honest assessment tells me I have distance to travel to get there, but that is a kind of greatness we can all achieve.  Few of us will be renowned for our talents or our wealth, but we CAN be undaunted.  We CAN press forward courageously and optimistically, no matter what.

As I’ve been studying my large stack of books which deal largely with human behavior, a thought has been parading through my mind for weeks.  It is this:  “We don’t feel our way to better behavior.  We behave our way to better feelings” -Dr. James Lehman.   In today’s world where so many of us quit doing or never start because of our feelings, it is important to understand that we’ll get much farther in life if we act the way we need to act and in so doing improve the way we feel instead of giving up because it doesn’t feel right that day.

I want to be courageous, undaunted.  I will refuse to be discouraged by small things.  I can do this.

Care to join me?
Jennifer

When I Grow Up…



I walked around the corner last week to find my youngest on the floor, trying to “tape” herself and put her sister’s soccer socks on.  She kept at it until she’d pulled them up her legs and had her feet in big sister’s cleats.  Then she found an old jersey and donned it as a soccer “dress” of sorts.  Her big sisters got a kick out of the display and tied the shirt so she wouldn’t trip, then put her hair in a pony tail.


Then she was outside for the game, talking nonstop about what she was doing and pausing occasionally to ask questions like “Is that cool?”  We laughed and shook our heads as she carried on.   Really, it still surprises me sometimes that she is my 8th and yet is so totally different from all the others, a brand all her own.  In some ways I feel like my experience really helps with her and in others I’m at a total loss.  She is so unique.




She wants so badly to be big, to be doing all the things the big kids do.  {She’s pretty good at painting her own fingernails already, as she can find nail polish hidden anywhere.  Scary!}  She wants to be like them, and she thought that putting on all the stuff would make her big and fast and strong like they are.


I sat there, laughing and loving her and then it hit me that in some ways I’m just like her.  I’m trying so hard to do things, but still have much to learn and much growing to do before I’ll be the girl I mean to be.  Sometimes I feel like I’m all outfitted like a mom, but still fumble and trip as I try to actually do it.


She wants to grow up and play soccer, go to school, make cupcakes, be a Mom.

I want to grow up too, and be the Mom I intended to be, the Mom my kids deserve, the Mom that God gave me the potential to be.    Like her, I have yet to grow into the shoes I want to fill, but with faith and prayer and time it just might happen.




Aren’t I lucky I have them to help me do it?

Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow to all of you who love and care for children in any way.  May we all spend the day feeling grateful for noble and inspiring women who push us to be better, and may we place emphasis on those things in our lives which are of lasting value and importance.

Jennifer

Unwelcome Surprise



This morning I happened to go to the basement for a random reason.  What greeted me was a large puddle of water on the middle of the floor.  The location could only mean a plumbing problem two stories above, instantly making me wonder what kind of damage we might have.   A quick check of the main floor revealed nothing, so we started poking around in the basement ceiling.

It revealed a mistake made by subcontractors when building the home.   While installing the ducting on the air return for the furnace, several nails went right into our hot water pipe.  They’ve been there for five years, leaking tiny amounts of water into the ducting and wood, and for some reason today the holes got bigger than the nails and we had a problem.  What a bummer that a thoughtless mistake wasn’t caught long ago!


The good news:

I went to the basement before 8 a.m., before I got in the shower and made it worse.  On a normal day I’m not down there until dinnertime when I need an ingredient from the storage room for our meal.  My husband was working from home today, saving us the cost and hassle of calling a plumber.  We turned off the water, drained the pipes into buckets, cut the pipe and went to buy a new piece.  We opened up the ducting to dry it out, put a little bleach water on the wood that appears to be rotting, and now we just wait and see if it has to be replaced.  The actual cost so far is around $20.

The bad news:

If the wood doesn’t dry out properly it will cost a lot more than that.  Having the water off meant no laundry, no shower, time spent working in the basement instead of doing other things.

Really it’s not a big deal, not a big deal at all.  But sometimes it’s tempting to feel like everything is going wrong, especially when you start stacking recent setbacks on top of one another.  Not necessarily life changing things, but little things that weigh on you, interrupt your ability to accomplish necessary things, and significantly add to your stress.  I was tempted to feel totally overwhelmed by this today, not just because of what happened but because of what didn’t happen as a result of it.  Life has a way of getting us when we have the least amount of time for it.  I’m noticing that I’ve had to give myself a lot of pep talks lately, and today they increased.

Still, as I’m trying to live joyfully this year, I do feel like I’m getting better at taking things in stride.  At least I am on the surface.  The stomach ache I’ve had for several weeks might indicate that I’m not as successful as I think.  Nevertheless, it’s progress.  I’m working at it.

So today we had an unwelcome surprise.  But it happened on the right day, we found it at the right time, and so far it’s cost as little as it could possibly cost.  Let’s hope it stays that way.

And I’m thankful for running water that isn’t running into my basement.

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