Category: One Step

Fall.  I’m a few weeks behind the calendar, but in my heart it’s now officially fall.   I love this season so much.  I’m ready to wear snuggly clothes, cook our favorite soups, play in crunchy leaves, bake a pie and rediscover my love for all things pumpkin.  It rained most of the week, and with the rain has come cooler temperatures and the feeling of autumn in the air.


Only a few more weeks of soccer and we’ll have our Saturdays back for a while.  Much as I love soccer games, the season has stretched us so thin that I can now see holes.  I’m anxious to pause, regroup, gather in.

This week’s report:  79 steps.  It was a great week.
Highlights:

1.  This was a week to throw open the curtains and drink in the sight of green grass.  Yes, we’re still giddy about our new lawn.  I can hardly describe how joyful my heart feels each time I see it.

2.  This week we got out our Halloween  and pumpkin themed childrens books for reading.  I have a few that I really love, and it’s always fun to rediscover them.

3.  One day this week, while driving home from school, we watched the blue sky turn dark, then turn to light rain, then heavy rain, then pounding rain, and finally to hail.  My two year old, who typically is frightened of such things, squealed and laughed and yelled with delight as she watched it all unfold on the windshield.  I slowed down and we all enjoyed both the storm and her delight.

4.  We celebrated my daughter’s 8th birthday.  It was wonderful.

5.  I had lots of “moments” with my four year old son this week.  Oh my, he can be a handful.  I always wonder how the twos got such a bad reputation when it’s really 3 and 4 that wear you down.  One example:  at his soccer game, he flat out refused to play.  Then he sat down on the ground and cried.  It was our turn to provide the treat, so I told him that if he didn’t play, he wouldn’t have  a treat.  I would let his sister pass them out.  I sat there and ignored his attempts to gain attention through negative behavior, and I should probably be ashamed to admit that I was rather looking forward to marching him to the car after the game WITHOUT a treat of any kind.

Then, at the beginning of the 4th quarter (yes, the 4th quarter) I glanced up and saw that he had quietly walked up to stand right next to his coach, and the coach (bless his soul, he is so patient with this little nut of mine) had put his hand on my little guy’s head to keep him there.  So he played for the 4th quarter.  He also decided to use the world’s longest windup when he was assigned to kick the ball off.  He lined up back where the goalie would stand, then ran forward to the midfield line and kicked the ball about 4 feet.  For a few minutes he acted like he was really going to play, but suddenly he ran off the field again and I said to him “Oh no you don’t, you get back out there” when he stopped, looked deeply into my eyes, then quickly gave me a big hug before pulling back to look at me again, then turn and run right back on the field.

Of course, my heart softened.  Don’t worry, he had more in store.  When it was his turn to kick the ball in from the sideline, I suddenly couldn’t see him.  Then I noticed the coach saying, “He’s going to be coming right through here” as he motioned to parents to make room.  I wondered what on earth was going on, and took a cue from the heads of the parents on that part of the sideline.  I followed their gaze and saw that my son had backed up through the parents, across the opening, and onto a nearby field of soccer players 3 times his size.  He was a full 20 yards away from the ball.  All of a sudden he got an intense look on his face, ran the 20 yards and kicked the ball.  I think it went 3 feet.  I was torn between adoring him and feeling 100% embarrassed at his blatant attempt to procure attention.

I don’t share this because I care all that much about whether my child excels in soccer.  I’m only there because I love him and he asked to play.  I share it because I’m at a point in my life when every thing I do is countered by a long list of other things that I need to do but can’t because of the one thing that I am doing.  (Did that makes sense?)  So when soccer becomes a frustration for me and a reason for him to misbehave, I wonder at the wisdom of my decision.  It would be so simple if he would just cooperate, but that doesn’t seem to be in his genetic code this year.  I’ve got my work cut out for me.

6.  My sister, her husband and their 5 children stayed with us for a couple of nights this weekend.  When they arrived on Friday night I realized how much I love the experience of guests arriving late in the evening.   There is something so special about hushed greetings, quiet trips to the car for luggage, sleepy children walking slowly or being carried to various destinations around the darkened house to enjoy beds made lovingly by cousins before they fell asleep.  It doesn’t matter if I’m the one arriving or greeting, I love those few moments.  I love them for all the relief they hold, for the peace of a house that has expanded to hold additional loved ones, for the promise of rest and a joyful awakening in a few more hours.

It was a treat to have them here, to let the children play together.  We were sorry to say good-bye, but so grateful for the visit.  Thanks for coming, guys!

And so another week has given way to the next.   The only sound is the constant ticking of the clock and the clicking of keys on my keyboard.  With heavy eyes but happy heart I’ll surrender to the quiet and get some sleep.   About a month ago I noticed a different feeling in my heart on Sunday nights.   I used to go to bed each Sunday feeling stressed about the coming week, unable to keep Monday morning from squeezing the joy out of my night.  Not so anymore.  This One Step Report that I type each week has changed my Sunday nights.  Now I go to bed with a grateful heart, a sense of peace and contentment, and with confidence that Monday morning will take care of itself just as it did 7 days ago.  I am grateful for this gift, another evidence of the accumulated blessings of consistent small steps.

Life is good.

Have a great week!

Jennifer

If there has been a Sunday night when I felt too tired and busy to type this post, tonight is it.  What a wild ride this week has been, and yet my heart is so full of gratitude for my blessings.  But I’m here.  Habits are habits, and there’s no sense in missing a week.

My report:  74 steps.

Highlights:

1.  We rose at 4:30 a.m. on Monday morning to drive to Rigby, Idaho for the funeral of my Uncle.  I’m so glad we were there.  Funerals are events you’re never sorry to have attended.  It was a privilege to hear my 4 cousins pay tribute to their father.   We then drove to Malad for the graveside service.  I had my camera in the car all day, but somehow forgot to use it.  My heart, however, took so many pictures of the day.  Images like the quiver on my cousin Mark’s chin before they closed the casket, Mindy’s performance of “O Divine Redeemer”, the moment when Dave told the BEST story ever in the funeral, the line of sons and grandsons placing a last flower on the casket, the presentation of the United States flag to my aunt.  So many extended relatives were there to briefly connect with.  We drove home Monday evening, making a very LONG day in the car, but it was completely worth it.

2.  Because of the funeral, we had the privilege of having my parents stay with us Monday night.  We were all exhausted and only did a little visiting, but I’m always so happy to see them.

3.  Believe it or not, this is a picture of our yard.


In addition to finishing up a contract for work, my husband spent many hours in the yard this week completing the installation of our sprinkler system, with him being incredibly productive and me wanting to be productive but mostly just assisting and running in and out of the house to care for the little ones.  On Friday, however, we took everyone out with us and spent more than 12 hours in the yard.  The sprinkler heads were installed, the trenches filled, the lot smoothed again, rocks raked, sod delivered.

We laid 7,400 square feet of sod.
Yes, you read that right.  It was a massive project, and we’re exhausted.  We’re also incredibly thankful for friends who came and helped.  Believe me when I say that I’ve never loved the color green as much as I do right now.


4.  My brother and his boys came to visit for the weekend.  They drove in about 30 minutes after we finished the yard.  It is so much fun to have my nephews here.  My children love to play with them.  I also enjoy time spent talking with my brother.  He’s an awesome guy.

5.  We soaked up General Conference with eager hearts.  The Saturday morning session was a combination of watching on television and listening on the radio as we drove to and from soccer games, but by the afternoon session we were all gathered in for the weekend.  This morning my sister and her husband drove down from Logan to watch the morning session with us. It is great to have everyone gathered together to listen to a prophet’s voice.


6.  One of our General Conference traditions is to make cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning.  This morning as I put the frosting on the last pan, I had a sweet moment.  Facing my stove top, my back to the room, I could hear the voice of Boyd K. Packer and the quiet but happy sounds of people I love serving and eating a hearty breakfast.  I looked down at the cinnamon rolls and felt honored to have the privilege of preparing this meal, honored to have this gathering in my home, grateful beyond words that we have traditions surrounding this weekend, traditions that my children love and count on.  I was filled with a feeling of peace, a feeling of total contentment, a realization that I’ve done better than I thought, and a witness that we were doing exactly what we should be doing at that moment in time.  It felt so good.




And so the week is over.  Kristen and Jake headed to his parent’s home, Rich and his boys packed up to head back to Colorado.  My heart swelled with pride and love as I watched my almost 12 year old daughter gather her brothers and sisters together to “run” her cousins down the street.  It’s a little tradition she’s created just for them.  As they drive away, they all run alongside the car waving and smiling and yelling good-byes to the end of the street.  There they stop, watch them drive away, and then slowly turn and walk home.  The smiles on their cousins’ faces betray their delight at the “run.”

As suddenly as it began, the whirlwind ended and we were left, just the 10 of us, to pile in the family room together and watch the last session of Conference.  A bit of tidying the house, a simple dinner, a brief chat with neighbors and the day drew to a close.  The children are in bed, a new school week awaits in the morning, and I am happy to enjoy the pause.  Tomorrow brings another storm of activity that will last all week long, but tonight is low tide and my heart rejoices.

Have a wonderful week.

Jennifer

This picture is  a pretty good snapshot of our week.


It’s been a week packed full of expected things, made busier and more complicated by a host of unexpected things.  Unexpected things both minor and major in their scope, all of them wearing us down more than anticipated.  Time, thought, schedules, routines have all been shaken up in the process.  Still, during those moments when nothing could be done about the 1,000 things breathing down my neck, we tried to breathe deeply and just live in the moment.  Traditionally I’m not very good at doing that, but I’m consciously working on it and am slowly improving.  Looking back at the week, it was probably those moments of life and breath that saved us.

This week’s report:  72 steps.
Highlights:

1.  My eyes and heart feasted on the sky this week.  With all the time spent working in the yard, plus many hours of driving and soccer games, I had countless moments of glancing at the sky.  Each glance fed my spirit, a feast I needed.

2.  I’m getting better at being my own cheerleader, boosting myself back up when I feel discouraged.  Early in the week I had a tough morning with the little ones, and was tempted to let frustration and discouragement fill my heart.  Instead of give in, I listed over and over to myself all of the good things about motherhood as I cleaned the house.   It worked.  When I was done, I realized I had not only a tidy house but that my heart was full of gratitude and faith in my calling as a mother.

3.  It’s running shamefully late, but I managed to baste a baby quilt for a friend.  It was, perhaps, the most interesting basting experience of my life thanks to my four year old who sat on my back and kept raining safety pins down on my head while I worked.  It’s funny how much I dislike basting, yet love the look of a quilt covered in pins, all ready to go.


4.  The whole week changed with an early morning phone call on Thursday announcing the sudden and unexpected passing of my Uncle Dennis.  I still feel stunned.  The thoughts, feelings and memories that have followed created an interesting emotional backdrop and lens through which to measure many of the activities that filled the week.  A lot to ponder.

5.  I had a good bedtime talk with one of my daughters who was in tears because she feels stress over so many things.  I couldn’t help but think how much she is like me, worrying about things that many give no thought to.  She is a really wonderful little girl and I felt blessed to be her listening ear for a few minutes.

6.  Yesterday I piled my youngest two girls and my oldest girl, along with a couple of other soccer players and we drove to Logan for a game.  It was a great drive, a great game, a gorgeous day.  We stopped at the coolest vintage McDonald’s ever, ate lunch at the Old Grist Mill, and spent some time hanging out with my sister and her husband in their cute old house.  It was a really nice day.


7.  I must also mention that my littlest ones were absolute angels on the trip to Logan.  All day long.  I have never seen two little ones be so sweet, happy and entertaining for so many hours.  At the end of the day I told my two year old daughter, “You were really sweet today, and I think you made a lot of big people really love you.  I’m proud of you.”  Her response, “I’m really proud of you too.  I am.”

As I look back at the week I’m somewhat amazed that we managed to keep so many commitments, get to so many activities and stay on top of so many things.  It really was a mind-boggling week.  I feel a little bit anxious because what I desperately need is some down time to plan, prepare and carefully weigh things, but there simply isn’t time for them and as I look at the calendar EVERY SINGLE DAY is like this for the next 2 weeks.  Will we make it?

I hope so.

Actually, I know so.  It may get ugly (actually, one glance at my laundry room says that it already is) but we’ll make it, and hopefully find a few minutes here and there to live in the moment, breathe deeply, and laugh.

That’s my goal.

Have a great week.

Jennifer