Yearly Goals Archives - Page 20 of 56

JOY in 2012

January 8, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

I owe my theme for the year to a series of unexpected (and unwelcome) events that paraded through the last few weeks, some of which are still marching on. Having promised myself a fresh start in the new year, feeling like my stomach was in a vice was the exact opposite of what I’d envisioned. I am so sick of the stress.

I’m done. I don’t know how these challenges will be resolved, or when, but suddenly my #1 goal for 2012 was crystal clear.

I WILL SEEK AND EXPERIENCE JOY IN 2012. Period.

This will be a joyful year.

I’m not talking about sugar coating my life or faking that I’m happy all the time. I’m talking about taking a step back, taking a deep breath, remembering what life’s really about. I’m talking about laughing with the children, reading wonderful stories together, letting the funny things be funny and taking myself less seriously. Joy in simple things.

So here is how I’m going to do it. {And notice I’m stating very specific things this time around} #1. Find JOY.
In this area I will: 1. print a copy of the above picture and hang it in our family room, 2. turn my gratitude tree into a joy tree, 3. choose a spot for a chalkboard with positive quotes for our family to memorize monthly, 4. make joy/gratitude journals for/with the children, 5. keep a notebook for each of my children with one entry each day recording one thing they did that brought me joy, 6. read, study and implement to the best of my ability Stephen Covey’s 8 Habits with a special focus on learning to put first things first and let go of unimportant things, 7. display in the kitchen what goal/habit I’m working on And although this last thing is listed last, it really comes first; first in my day, first in my heart, first on my list. I will continue to spend time reading holy scripture and sincerely praying every day. Specifically, I am studying right now with an eye on a fairly constant theme throughout history: the challenges people have faced and how faith in God allowed them to, first, handle it better, and second, experience deliverance. I will also pray for an increased sensitivity and ability to notice those things that bring joy.

OK, so that’s the big one. Now on to the various areas I had already set goals in. I have all these things recorded in a notebook, and most areas actually have long lists. To make these goals more measurable and achievable I’ve limited the list in some essential areas and in others I’ve chosen my top 3. If I achieve them, I have promised myself to call it a success. If I complete them early I’ll just add three more to the list and see how far I get.

Ready? Here goes!

PERSONAL WELL-BEING 1. Improve my health. I have weight to lose, but I want to conquer migraines first. I’m going to do just one thing at a time and when that habit is mastered I’ll add another. Habit #1 is DRINK MORE WATER! This should be so easy but I get going and forget to pause and drink water. So once I’m consistently drinking 15 glasses of water each day I’ll move to goal #2.

2. Read at least six good books this year. (Note: I have another area in which I have another book list too) On the list right now: Middlemarch (I’m about 150 pages in), These is my Words (started but need to finish), The Greater Journey, Washington, Great Expectations, Laddie, A Fortunate Life. And yes, that’s seven. I could list another 20 in about 30 seconds but I’ll stop there. I may choose different books as the year goes on but right now that’s what I want to read.

HOUSEKEEPING 1. Do a better job of consistently maintaining the basics. Experiment with a schedule for balancing it all. By mid-February have a schedule worth running with.

2. Fold and put away the laundry without letting it pile up!

3. Accomplish these three things in the basement: go through all papers, go through children’s clothing, re-organize and re-asses food storage 4. Organize my recipes Around the house projects I intend to accomplish (one of the top three lists):

Finish headboard and curtain for girls room Paint headboard and side table for guest room Fix yellow bathroom (I hate this bathroom. It needs a mini-makeover, mostly involving paint, I think) MOTHERHOOD/PLANNING 1. Put first things first! Implement the 8 Habits, learn to focus on what is essential, then necessary, then nice-to-do and let go of the unimportant. Find the pause button and learn how to create (then protect) margin in my life and in our home.

2. Cut all spending to essentials only so we can reach some fairly ambitious financial goals, at least for a family our size.

3. Seek excellence. Learn how to inspire the desire for excellence in my children. Interview friends whose excellence inspires me for insights and read books that will help me learn about this habit.

4. Become consistent in quality planning. Engage in planning sessions on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Create checklists for each to help me stay on track and honestly assess my progress.

5. Read good books that will help me to see my life clearly and make good decisions (in addition to the scriptures). This list is currently 8 books long: Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, Margin, Walden, Through His Eyes, Bonds that Make us Free, The Happiness Project, The Reluctant Entertainer (re-read parts of this), The Book of Mormon: A Pattern for Parenting.

6. Completely disconnect myself from all projects/distractions/preoccupations when I pick up the children from school. Give my full attention to connecting with each child and being proactive in helping them accomplish the things they need to accomplish in their lives.

7. Teach the children how to set goals and work at them. Help them each set three goals for 2012. Have monthly reviews of those goals so they can evaluate and set mini-goals.

8. Slow down in the evenings and rediscover the joy of reading aloud as a family. I’ve been so tired at night that I too often just hustle the kids off to bed. Given our schedules, I’m shooting for at least 3 times a week or more. Don’t get me wrong, we ARE reading, just not at bedtime so much and in general not as much as I did when the family was younger. I want to reverse that for the middle and younger children even if the older ones are gone.

CREATIVITY This sounds like such a frivolous thing yet I’ve learned I really need it. I was sent to earth with creative talents and when I ignore them I end up feeling irritable and frustrated. It calms me down and helps me face motherhood with fresh energy.

Two main goals: 1. Spend 15 minutes each day doing something creative. 2. Conquer my fear of the blank canvas.

Things I want to learn: how to etch glass, how to sew clothing, how to do free motion quilting, how to do letterpress, how to make collage/mixed media art, how to make awesome flowers using fabric and paper. (to name a few…)

Things I want to do (a top three list):

sew skirts for all five girls sew an A-line, short sleeved dress for my youngest two daughters quilt at least one quilt using free motion quilting QUILTING Yes, this is a sub-category of creativity, but I have so many things I want to do in this area that it needs a list of its own. I know it’s not the least bit essential, but it does make me happy!

First, I am not allowed to buy any new quilting fabric this year (see Motherhood/Planning, item 2). I have quite enough to keep myself busy for a long time. If I meet a couple of ambitious goals I may allow myself a small splurge on a collection I’ve had my eye on. But the goals are pretty ambitious (and personal). I am allowed to purchase thread, batting and solid (usually white) fabric for sashing, etc. That’s it.

Last year I made nine quilts. My goal was twelve. So, I’m sticking with twelve again this year. That’s one per month, but I already know that there are at least four months in the year when I really have no time for sewing. Still, I like the goal and I have that many quilts on my list of quilts to make, so why not try?

I already listed my free motion quilting goals. I also want to learn to sew with curves (my sister and I are taking an online course on this very subject next month… yay!) And in my wildest dreams I’ll make a quilt for each of my children this year, a special quilt that’s just their size for them to drag around the house, watch movies under, and generally love.

My top three list for quilting:

Finish the quilt along blocks I started Make a houndstooth quilt Start the Farmer’s Wife quilt along with my sister I also have a sewing list:

Finish a certain gray pillow Make the Lincoln pillow that’s been dancing in my head for two years now Lavender sachets GARDENING 1. Grow at least 80% of our vegetable garden from seed 2. Add a large area at the back of the yard to our garden 3. Grow a salsa garden 4. Grow Bells of Ireland 5. Bring in sand to supplement soil for a lavender garden (dreamy sigh) 6. Grow my own Cinderella pumpkins RECORD KEEPING I feel strongly that I need to improve in this area. I’ve become terrible at printing photos since switching to a digital camera. I need to sort and print important photos for the younger children whose life history exists largely on an external hard drive.

1. Print at least two photos per month of each child in 2012.
2. Do the same for 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008. Seriously, I can do this! It’s just less than 100 photos in all. Affordable and simple if I take it a little at a time.
3. Get children’s journals organized and up to date 4. Get back to weekly family journal writing.
5. Use little journaling cards to write down the funny things the children say, like tonight on our way home from visiting our newborn cousin at the hospital and our five year old said to his thirteen year old sister “You’re just a never-ending girl!”
6. Sort through school papers that I’ve let pile up. Figure out a way to bind them.

FRIENDSHIPS For my own well-being, I need to strengthen, renew and improve my relationships with my friends. I’ve really isolated myself in the past few years. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did, and at a time when I probably needed friendships more than ever before. I’m going to fix this.

1. I lost my birthday calendar a couple of years ago and in 2011 my memory mostly failed me. I’m going to send an email for my friends asking them all to confirm their birthdate so I can see if what I remember is correct.

2. Remember each birthday with a small gift (probably handmade) or card in the mail.

3. Write more notes. Notes of thanks, notes of praise. At least one a week.

4. Call a friend once a week to say hello.

5. Get together with a friend or attend a function with friends at least once a month.

Phew! That was a lot of STUFF. At least I’m committed now that it’s in print. I feel good about these goals and I’ve already made daily, weekly and monthly checklists to help me stay on target. I already think they may need tweaking but I’m working on them. I’ve also made a list for each calendar month of seasonal things I want to do. If I accomplish all these things I will feel joy. But I intend to find joy daily in little things as well.

So here goes…. Welcome 2012!

A Year of Habits, final edition

January 1, 2012 jennifer Helpfulness of Habit

Well, the year is over. I had big plans. I planned on being a MUCH better person by now. I planned on having a house that ran more smoothly, a project list with much more crossed off, a life that felt manageable.

But I’m still me. I’ve changed a few things, but generally I haven’t experienced the transformation I planned on. I wish that someone else could write this post for me because it’s so difficult to take that significant step back and see the year in the larger perspective. I still tend to live in the gap, seeing only the chasm between my expectations and my performance.

So how did I do? Honestly, as the year progressed I understood that I’d doomed the project fundamentally by not being more specific in the goals I set. There were too many and they were too vague. Did I improve in some areas? Yes. But it’s hard to say where since I didn’t get specific enough or give specific measuring methods for my performance.

I planned to improve my physical health. After 14 1/2 years of pregnancy and nursing without a day’s break my body felt depleted. While I improved in this area I still have a long way to go. I hoped this would be a quick battle for me but it seems it will be a longer war instead and I will keep working at it.

We planned to improve our financial health this year. We worked at it but didn’t do as well as we hoped.

I wanted to serve others more. I do feel that I have improved in this area. I’ve learned some great personal lessons.

I wanted to grow spiritually/emotionally. I am so pleased with my personal scripture study. I feel great about it and certainly see a direct tie DAILY between that study time and how my day turns out. In that area, I intended to make a lot of entries in our Miracle Box, but somehow as the year went on I just forgot to do it. In fact, as the year progressed I really slacked off in journal writing in general. I’m so bummed about that! I will do better next year.

Reading. I wanted to read more and while I didn’t read as much as I hoped I feel good about what I read. I read some great books that were a blessing to my life. I have my 2012 reading list ready to go!

Planning. I feel like I failed in this area. I do, however have a specific goal for 2012 that I think will make a big difference.

Be a finisher. I am pleased with my progress in this area. I finished some projects and became more disciplined at doing so.

Creativity. I did a lot of creative things this year so I guess I’d have to say that in many ways I fulfilled this goal, but at the same time I learned something about myself that is significant. I struggle with the blank canvas. I worry about it, worry about ruining it, worry about lots of things. So I guess I both succeeded and failed in this category but I do know what to work on next.

Housekeeping. I pictured a house running more smoothly by now but I must acknowledge that it’s better than it was. This was the area in which I set the most specific goals for myself. Of them all, the laundry schedule has worked best. Many of the others worked really well until the school year started and my five year old went to kindergarten. A lot of schedule-dependent items have suffered since the kindergarten schedule began and I’m still trying to tweak things and somehow get it all done.

A soft reply. This applied specifically to my desire to be consistently patient and gentle in my responses to my children. I haven’t perfected this habit but I have grown. While I’m ending the year feeling like I fell far short in most areas, I do feel like I’m ending as a better mother. I feel like the children have learned some good things. We really increased our dedication to music practice and I am pleased with their progress in this area. I feel like the children are working harder, working more. They’re generally very helpful to one another. And we made good decisions this year in simplifying what we could, prioritizing, and trying not to overwhelm our family so much with constant driving and commitments. Still, we’re incredibly busy, busier than I wish we were, but I feel like we’re learning.

I also had some specific goals I worked toward this year. Here’s a quick list of the things I accomplished from that list:

1. Plant gardens. I loved our gardening adventures this year and look forward to more of them.

2. Grow lavender again. I planted three different kinds of lavender and in total we have a dozen plants. It brought me much joy to grow and harvest my own lavender again this year.

3. Vanilla beans. Before this year I had never bought a vanilla bean. I thoroughly enjoyed learning how to cook and bake with them this year. We made some yummy recipes!

4. I lost a portion of the weight I wanted to lose. Not enough, but a start.

5. Homemade bread. I’ve been baking bread for many years but I wanted to find a recipe I liked without any oil, eggs, milk or fat of any kind added. I did. I’ve been making it ever since and we LOVE it. Just flour, salt, yeast and water. Perfect.

6. I got better at having parties for my older kids, many of them impromptu. I need to get much better but I did work at it.

7. Quilting. I wanted to make one quilt per month, or 12 quilts in 2011. I made nine. It’s a good start.

Some other things to remember about this year (NOT in chronological order):

Natural disasters and catastrophes everywhere, it seemed. Financial disarray all over the world. It was a very sobering year, a year of great pain for many. For me I’d say it’s been a year of stress. Stress and worry.

My grandpa passed away. Our last trip to visit him over Memorial Day was priceless. Traveling two weeks later to his funeral with all my brothers and sisters, cousins, etc. was a very special experience.

In January my husband and I took a quick trip together and loved it.

In July my husband and I took another trip to Denver for my 20 year high school reunion. It was a great weekend in every way. I loved re-connecting with old friends, my best friend from high school in particular. (Plus, two trips in one year with just the two of us? THAT’S never happened before!)

We took our family to the beach again this year. My favorite week of the year, every year.

An unforgettable 4th of July celebration in Escondido with my husband’s family. Even more exciting than the fireworks was the police chase that ended in my sister-in-law’s backyard, with the criminal pinned on the dirt beneath my brother-in-law with my husband holding a metal bat near the guy’s head — all going down in the searchlight of the police helicopter overhead while they waited for the officers on foot to get there. CRAZY!

One of my dearest friends moved to the Seattle area in 2010. I feel deeply grateful that we’ve continued to talk and have remained good friends.

A trip to Idaho for my Aunt’s funeral. {SO many people died this year, it seemed!} My parents were there, and all my brothers and sisters made the trip without children or spouses. It was the first time the ten of us have spent time together in many years.

My brother’s wedding in September and the fun of having our entire family gathered for it. I treasure those gatherings more as the years go by.

I have felt richly blessed by the friendship of my two sisters this year, along with the friendship of my sisters-in-law. I admire, love and respect them all so much. And my dear mother continues to amaze me. I am so blessed to have remarkable parents.

So many little moments with my husband and with the children, many of them captured here, many of them unshared, too many of them already forgotten because I didn’t write them down. Still, they are the stuff of life and for the privilege of daily life alone I am grateful.

And so the year is gone. Another has arrived.

Stay tuned for my 2012 plans.

Jennifer

A Year of Habits, no. 50

December 19, 2011 jennifer Helpfulness of Habit

It’s Sunday night. The Christmas tree is leaning sideways again, undecorated from the three foot mark down. I’ve given up putting the ornaments back on the tree; there’s a collection box out for packing them up. The children are busy and noisy as ever but they keep us laughing as well. School is out for the holidays, the snowboards are lined up in the garage, curious children sneaking into the studio where boxes hold Christmas surprises which need to be wrapped but also need a full-time guard to protect them from my youngest. A quick walk around the house at all the clutter makes me wonder why I’ve been so worried about what will or won’t be under the tree.

My sister and her husband stopped by tonight for a while and we loved talking to them while the children ran in circles around us, yelling and wrestling and even putting together an impromptu 3 minute play which was actually quite hilarious. Kristen can attest that there’s not a single square inch of workspace in my studio that isn’t covered with something related to the holiday to-do’s that still haunt my list. How will I wrap them all up and get that room ready for out of town guests in the next few days? I have no idea. Yet like everything else I’m sure we’ll get there and it will all work out. Life’s like that, you know. It all works out. Still, I will admit to wishing it could work out like I picture it more often.

I keep thinking I’ll reach this point where most things are crossed off my list and it’s time to relax and enjoy, but instead I’m getting just enough done to get through whatever is ahead for today and that’s all. It’s helping me realize that I need to relax and enjoy the moments when they briefly settle on me in the midst of stress like a butterfly pausing in its flight. We had such a moment on Friday night when we took the whole family to see a new musical, The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey, based on the classic children’s Christmas book. I’m so glad I bought the tickets a few months ago! We were entertained and our hearts were touched. I hope that exposing our children to these messages helps reinforce what we’re trying to teach.

I’ll be honest. I can only think of one habit which I’ve really improved this week. It would be my response to stress. I am getting better at handling stress.

Most everything else is a mess of some sort. I got to be of service today which felt good. I managed to remember a birthday this week, which is a miracle. I spent some really special one-on-one time with my seven year old daughter this weekend who is such a gem of a girl. She makes me smile. Our oldest four children performed in their piano recital Wednesday night and did a fantastic job. I love seeing their improvement throughout the year and feel proud of them for working hard. And on Thursday night when my husband and I were at an Indian restaurant I tasted the most heavenly drink: a rose water lassi! A lassi is a yogurt drink and I jumped at the chance to taste rose water for the first time. I loved it. I’ve found a recipe and hope to try making them soon. YUM!

And with that I’ll close for the night. Oh,what a week I have ahead! Let’s hope I can be productive (translation: let’s hope the two year old will be happy playing the the other children and not only in my arms)!

Have a wonderful week!

Jennifer