How to measure?

Musings on Life and Beauty



It’s 10:45 p.m.

Chairs are out of place in the family room, gathered in the loose circle we pulled them to for Family Night.

Backpacks, binders, cleats, shin guards, books, baby toys  and miscellaneous items of clothing lie strewn around the main floor.

Upstairs a Littlest Pet Shop village has overtaken the landing outside the bedroom doors.  The toy room is getting awfully messy again.

Clothing decorates bedroom carpet and damp towels hang in odd places around the rooms, cast thoughtlessly aside in the rush for fresh smelling pajamas.

Minutes ago I said goodnight to the last child awake as he finished his homework and headed to bed.  That’s 17 straight hours of parenting without a break.

I look around at the mess I call my home.

I look down at myself and see clothes that have been slimed by a runny nose at least 150 times, pants dirty from little hands out in the yard, an outfit splattered with remnants of today’s menus, placed expertly by tiny hands and faces.

It can be discouraging to sit, late in the evening with the exhaustion of the day creeping into my muscles and stinging my eyes, and survey the damage of just one day.

I realize I’m faced with a choice, a choice I must make before the day ends.

How to measure?
I did many things today; things that no one could see at a glance around the house because the ONE thing I didn’t do is so painfully obvious.

I feel tempted to stay up late and clean.  Tempted to throw in the towel and go to bed.  Tempted to feel discouraged that the price of a  busy day could be so high in terms of physical surroundings.  And so I ponder, how to measure?

Yesterday I listened to Boyd K. Packer say that we must try not to be too impressed with the scoreboard, that the most important things in our families cannot be counted.

How does today’s scoreboard add up?

I start with my clothes.  Every smear of food is evidence of my efforts to feed the growing bodies of little ones, evidence of my baby’s attachment to me, evidence that I am where she runs to no matter what she needs.  The slime from her runny nose is evidence of how much I held her, how many times I tried to comfort her as she dealt with an incoming tooth, evidence of the countless hugs we shared as she wrapped her tiny arms tightly around my neck while resting her head on my shoulder.  And I smile as I think of the way my heart clenched with joy as I squeezed her back.  Every. Single. Time.

I look around the house.  The backpacks and binders are evidence of time spent focusing on each student individually, reviewing homework and helping as needed.  The shin guards and cleats are the reminder of the last minute soccer and lacrosse practices added to the afternoon schedule.  Dirty socks with dark streaks on them speak of time spent as a family in the yard, placing flags where sprinkler heads will soon live.

Damp towels testify to baths and showers, and clean bodies snuggled in beds.  Toys on the floor hold the echo of  imaginations hard at work.

The circle of chairs remind me that, in spite of being tired, in spite of a couple of arguing kids, we were obedient.  We held Family Home Evening.  We sang together, talked together, prayed together.  Outside we worked together.  And the dirty kitchen testifies that we ate together.

I look again at the mess, pondering a different kind of scoreboard, a different measuring stick.  That’s a lot of togetherness:  working, eating, singing, talking, praying.

I can view this mess as two different kinds of evidence:  evidence of all the cleaning I didn’t do, or evidence of all the nurturing I did.  I think of  the late evening bath I drew for my baby, of how she sat in fascination as we both let water run through our fingers.  The scent of my favorite baby lotion still lingers on my clothes after our final tight hug before she went to bed.

I’ve made my choice.  I’ll take the mess.

This is life being lived.
The evidence is in my favor.

In spite of my better judgment, I only clear the dinner dishes and place them in the sink, doing just enough cleaning to allow for a smooth breakfast and sack lunch assembly in the morning.  I know all the rules about cleaning before bed, but my own runny nose, burning eyes and stuffy head remind me that a happy, healthy mom is better than a clean kitchen any day.  I think of the new book in my room that is calling to my heart and decide to rest while I can.

I am  grateful that not every day presents nurturing and cleanliness as mutually exclusive, and equally grateful for how today’s score adds up.  I call today a success.

I’m also calling it over.

Hopeful Homemaker

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Roast Beef & Swiss Melts

Organization, Sandwiches and Wraps

I made my children a promise that I would have a good snack ready for them each day after school.  I try to make something that’s almost a second lunch, substantial enough to keep them going until dinner.  I’ve found it’s less expensive for me to make another meal than it is to watch them devour countless “snacks.”

I threw this open faced sandwich together last week and it was a hit, even with my husband.  I personally don’t care much for Swiss cheese, but I also liked them.  With only 4 ingredients, about 4 minutes to assemble, and less than 4 minutes to cook, I thought I’d share it with you in case you’re interested.


Ingredients:

bagels mustard roast beef slices sliced Swiss cheese On each half of a bagel, spread  1/2 teaspoon of mustard.  Place two slices of roast beef on each half, and one slice of Swiss cheese on top.  Place on a cookie sheet and broil for a couple of minutes or until the cheese is melted.  Remove and serve warm, as open faced sandwiches.


Hope you like them!  (We did.)

Hopeful Homemaker

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One Step Report #36

One Step

September.  It’s the month I wish would last three times longer than it does.  Cooler temperatures mean we throw open the windows and welcome the breeze to twist  it’s way through the house, cooling all it comes in contact with.  Late summer.  A season all it’s own.  Can it really be the 12th?


It’s been a great week.  A busy week.  An exhausting week.  A learning week.  A happy week.
Total steps:  86.
Highlights:

1.  We’re making good progress on our after school homework habits.  It seems they have replaced our piano practices, though, and we’ve got to get back on schedule with those as well.

2.  I am working SO HARD during the school days to whip this house into shape and implement a regimented schedule for myself.  I’m giving myself only one morning each week to run errands or do anything outside the house.  The rest of the time we’re at home, spending time with the little ones and working.  It’s starting to pay off, and I’m excited about it.  I have SOOO much work to do around here!

3.  On Wednesday night I taught a short class on a simple program to help you create a food storage plan for your family.  I feel pleased about how it went.  It’s such a privilege to associate with so many women who are doing awesome things in their homes.

4.  As usual, we spent a lot of time at soccer practices and games.  It’s crazy, but really it’s also kind of nice.  It forces me to get outside at the most beautiful time of day,  those dinnertime hours when the sunlight comes slanting down before sunset, casting a golden glow on everything.   I love the way my children look in golden sunlight, the way the colors of soccer uniforms look more saturated.  I also love the way the world sounds at that time of day.  How the referee’s whistle sounds farther away than it really is, the way things are both hushed and more crisp in their sound.  I love the way the sounds of the game and the sounds of my little ones playing at my feet all combine in my ears to make their own sort of music.  It’s a beautiful sound, really, the sound of life being lived.  Standing on the edge, the link between the game and the toddlers, all these sounds and images combine to create a snapshot of this season in my life that fills my heart with satisfaction and gratitude.  I am so very blessed.

5.  Yesterday our yard was full of dust and dirt and noise, thanks to this.


6.  Last night my husband and I attended the Adult Session of Stake Conference, and this morning our whole family was blessed to attend a Regional Conference (via broadcast).  Both meetings were fabulous.  I was amazed to hear that this morning’s meeting was being offered to more than 150 stakes with a potential audience of over 1/2 million members.  Wow.  It made me wonder why I allow myself to sometimes feel lonely when I’m trying to live right.  My husband and I literally soaked in everything that was said.  I came home with a list of marching orders, but also with the great feeling that I have already started working on all of the specific things we were told.  I’m on the right track, and that is a great feeling.

7.  Tonight our family went for a walk together.  When we do this I usually find myself falling back to walk behind them all, observing the motion of the group as well as individuals.  Tonight I marveled a little that they all belong to me, that some of them are so big while others are so little, that we’re such a big group and yet so much smaller than we’ll be when they’re all big.  What a wild ride we’re in for!


8.  My little one is fighting a cold, and had a hard time sleeping this week.  We’ve had lots of snuggle time together.  I love that.  I don’t, however, love that I’ve caught her cold, although my compassion for her is now multiplied since I understand how she feels.  Today it seems to be messing with my ability to talk; my husband burst out laughing when I told him that I’d just been bit by a zucchini.  (I promise the word mosquito was what my brain thought, but somehow my mouth got the zucchini message.  We had a good laugh.)

On that note I’ll wish you a wonderful week and hope that I can fall asleep quickly for some much needed rest.
Take care!

Jennifer

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