Tag: goals

I hope you’re having a nice Labor Day weekend.  Ours has been uneventful so far, which is nice.

I’ve been thinking about this little routine of mine, to type a summary or report of my week as part of my effort to become the person I want to be.  I believe that reporting is important but measuring is difficult.  You see, my goals this year didn’t involve specific things that I could do and then cross off the list.  There are a few things like that, but the essence of my intent is about something I want to be .  Yes, there are certain things which, if I do, will increase the probability of my becoming what I want to be, but how do you measure how far you are along the road of becoming?  It’s a difficult thing.

I’ve wondered at times if I went wrong when I outlined things the way I did.  I know all the “rules” about making goals and how they have to involve specific things so you can reach them, etc. etc.  Did I doom my effort from the start by setting it up this way?  I don’t think so.  I felt strongly that I should focus my efforts on becoming a different person in some important areas of my life.

I’ve been reading this talk fairly often for the past few months, and part of it sums up the difficulty I’m struggling with:

“Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why?

To do ’s are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done. You can’t earn checkmarks with to be ’s. I can take my wife out for a lovely evening this Friday, which is a to do.
But being a good husband is not an event; it needs to be part of my nature—my character, or who I am.”   – Lynn G. Robbins It would have been easier to make a to do list for the year so I could look at it and see how many items I’d crossed off and how many remain.  What matters most to me, however, is what I’m becoming (and if I’m becoming), and so here I am, in the 35th week of my goal, wondering.

Even so, I feel good about the week.  I feel good about my efforts to start the school year with precise homework and music practice habits.  I feel good about my efforts to get the children on a healthy schedule for the year as well.  I made some difficult decisions earlier in May regarding activities for the children to be involved in this fall.  We cut back, and it was hard for me to do.  It seems to be helping, though.  Every day we have an hour or two before practices start which has allowed me to focus entirely on the school-aged children and help them with homework, etc.  This little window of time has been precious, giving us breathing room between school and extra-curricular activites.  The children seem happy to do less driving and rushing around.  We’re still crazy busy, but now we have that precious hour.  We all seem happier.

I feel good about my efforts around the house this week also.  My brother is getting married in a few weeks and I’ve moved a lot of “house” to-do’s up to the top of the list in hope that I’ll get them done before the company comes.  If I do, I’ll feel really good about myself.  Over all, the house is cleaner and more tidy right now than it usually is at this point in time.  Perhaps I’m getting better at it.

I tried new things this week and finished a couple of projects.  I feel that I’m finishing more projects and becoming wiser about starting things.  I still have far to go in this area but I like the direction I’m moving.  I tackled something that was overwhelming me.  It’s not finished yet but having started, I don’t feel nearly as intimidated by it as I was two days ago and I have a vision to guide my efforts.

I am working really hard at being a mother who responds softly to her children.  I’m getting better.  Today alone provided abundant opportunities to bite my tongue and listen, to build instead of criticize.

The past couple of weeks have offered some opportunities for us to serve others and I’m glad we were able to do even small things for people around us.  Service is so important.

I continue to eat well and try to take good care of myself.  While I wish I was losing weight at a more dramatic rate, I realize it’s a blessing.  Having it take longer than I’d like means I’m more likely to really change my habits and lifestyle for the long run.  I’m more likely to become a different person.

I can say this:  I am sleepy!  It’s off to bed for me so I can rise with the roosters and get going on my list.  Have a great day!

Jennifer

Well, the first week of school is now under our belts as August draws to a close.   My #6 starts school in the morning.  I hardly know what to think and so I’m trying not to think much about it.   I’m really not sure how it will go.  Will he cry?  Will I cry?  Will we both cry?  Will he just walk right in and be fine?  And if he does walk right in, what will he do on the second day?  The second week?

The week was a good one.  It’s funny how you can run all over the place before school starts, spending hundreds of dollars and then the first week of school comes along and you have to keep going back to the store for this or for that spending hundreds of dollars all over again.?!?  Why do we do this?  I’ve looked around more than once this week and wondered how we let sending the children to school for another year become such a spending blitz.    What happened to a binder, pen or pencil, and paper?

In general I feel good about the week.  I really worked hard.  I worked hard on the house and I worked hard – very hard – at beginning the school year with the kind of schedule and priorities I feel will bring success for my children.  If we can make some of these things stick then we’ll have a number of helpful habits working for us.  I feel motivated and confident that we can build these habits.

My husband and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary this week as well.   It was such a long, busy day that I was ready to cry by the time we actually left the house for a quiet but late dinner together.  He’s my everything.  I love him so much.

It was a great week, but I am oh, so tired.  Off to bed I go…

Jennifer

The house is supposed to be quiet right now.  Tomorrow is the first day of school for four of my children.  I know they’re tired; if they’d just hold still long enough they’d all fall asleep within two minutes.   Instead I hear muffled voices and the padding of feet in the hallway.  Funny how you don’t fall asleep when you’re sneaking around.   My heart is full but I must be brief.  Moms need a good night’s rest before the first day of school too.

I hardly know what to say.  There are so many little things about the week.  Another soccer tournament, a sweet dance class two of my daughters participated in, an impromptu party for a bunch of teenagers.  There was shopping for school supplies {see, I did it}, cleaning, moving some furniture around, work in the storage room.  A wedding last night provided an opportunity for service, new friendships, and a brief conversation with a wise old gentleman that brought tears to my eyes.  For some reason I saw many people this week who are hurting:  some whose pain is so visible and others whose pain lies behind a perfectly normal exterior.  I am reminded how life wounds all of us at different times and in different ways, but it is all calculated to stretch us, humble us, help us grow.  I’ve been thinking a lot about the miracle of Jesus Christ’s Atonement and the resurrection that will heal and fix so many things.  What a marvelous day it will be, and how many of us there are who ache and watch for that day with great longing.

Here I stand on the edge of another school year and I wonder, have I grown at all this year?  Am I learning anything?  Is there a habit anywhere in my life that is new because I’m trying?  I honestly don’t know.  I know I’m getting better at taking large groups of children to crowded places without feeling much stress.  {Does that count for anything?}  I’m getting better at helping my children work.  I’m becoming a better finisher.  I’m getting better at recognizing what we do and don’t need  and making decisions accordingly.  I don’t know that the house looks any better.   I’m still working at taking better care of my health.  But really, here I am near the end of August and I can’t really say that I’ve changed.  Not yet.  The old me might feel discouraged, but there is a hopeful feeling in my heart that says, “It’s ok.  Keep trying.  Work at it a while longer and then look back for evidence.”  There’s got to be a turning point nearby, a point at which things start to come together and stay that way more consistently.  I will find it.

So I’m going to check on the little kiddos upstairs and then I’m going to sleep.  Much as I want summer back, great things are ahead for me, for each of my children, for our whole family.  We’re still learning.  It will be a great year.

Jennifer