15 Days of Happiness:: Wear a Smile


Nburiedinsand

I had to make a difficult phone call today.  It concerned one of my children and a problem that child is currently facing (or not facing).   I was worried I wouldn’t express my concerns properly, worried that I would get emotional, worried that I wouldn’t be able effectively invite the person I was calling to be part of the solution.  I tend to be serious-minded (that’s an understatement) and when you take a naturally serious person who’s trying to be serious about a big thing, well, you get a LOT of serious going on, and that’s not always helpful.

I took a deep breath.  I went into a room by myself and started smiling until it felt genuine.  Then I got out a pen and paper to take notes and dialed the number.  My #1 thought was to keep the smile on my face so I would have a smile in my voice.

It worked.   I had a very pleasant conversation about a very unpleasant thing.  I got the information I needed.  I know what I need to do next, and the individual I spoke with essentially joined my team, volunteering to do something TODAY which will help.  She transferred me to another department and the smile in my voice led that conversation as well.  The next person was also helpful, even discovering a small mistake on her end which will make what we need to do just a bit easier.

I hung up the phone smiling.  Is the problem we are facing any less serious than it was before?  Absolutely not.  But by dealing with it in a pleasant, cheerful way, I nurtured small relationships within the community that can help my child instead of isolating myself by allowing my stress, worry and fears to translate into my tone of voice.  I was happy as I ended the call, feeling more in control of my part in the situation.

With that success behind me and an even bigger smile on my face, I made a few more phone calls.  The doctor’s office had overlooked something I needed help with.  I needed information from two different schools regarding two of my students.  I needed to make a last minute change with a dental appointment.  In every case, the smile on my face made all the difference.   Little inconveniences that could have frustrated both myself and the people on the other end of the phone went well, with compliments, laughter, helpfulness and courtesy woven throughout.

And all because I led with a smile.

Nburied

So today, what can you do to put a smile on your face?

I will testify that if you keep a smile on your face long enough, you will feel happy .

Two hours later, I’m still grinning.  I will also promise you that if you keep a smile on your face, your voice will reflect happiness and goodwill, thus spreading happiness even to those who can’t see you.  I have learned and re-learned this lesson so many times, and yet I still need reminders!

Here are a few things I like to do to get myself smiling:  play a favorite song, turned up loud, and sing along until you feel the smile sticking where it should be.  Look in the mirror and smile at yourself until it’s a genuine one.  Set an alarm (on your phone, perhaps) to go off ten minutes before the craziest parts of your day begin.  Have the reminder simply say:  SMILE.  I use Google Calendar sometimes to do this, creating an event and scheduling reminders because yes, sometimes smiling needs to be an EVENT.  Making it one reminds me how important it is to choose to smile.  Or you can try my favorite thing:  spend a few minutes watching or interacting with children, and you’ll find it impossible not to smile.  They do it constantly and it will rub off on you.  Don’t have any children around?  That’s ok.  Get online and find pictures of happy children and you’ll be smiling in no time.  I’ve also read that pictures of pets make people smile, so you can try that, too.  Just do something to get your brain’s attention and make yourself smile.  Do it at least ten times today.

Good luck, and happy living!

Jennifer

15 Days of Happiness


flowers1

I woke up last night every hour or so with the realization that I’d been trying to solve one difficult problem after another in one tense dream after the other.  When, at last, it was time to wake the children for school, I already felt mentally worn out.  While the things I was stressed about in my dreams were completely unreal, the feeling of dealing with successive problems was.  As I look at the calendar and try to merge it with my to-do list for the duration of the month I wonder how we will possibly accomplish all that needs doing.

flowers2

My next thought was that this is it.  Today, right now, this month, is what I have to work with.  While I know the stress of May will decline when my children are grown, it’s my reality for a good many years and I want the next few weeks to be fantastic.  I want to accomplish much, feel happy and energetic, and help my children do the same.    Much as I look forward to summer vacation, today is the time to be happy.   It’s my responsibility to make time every day to feel and recognize joy.

flowers3

To keep myself on track, I’m going to post a little series called “15 Days of Happiness.”  Every day I will share something I’ve done that day which nurtured happiness.  One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in the last 18 months is that happiness is a choice, but it’s also a skill.  We can learn to do things in ways that naturally enhance our happiness, making it easier to greet life’s challenges with equanimity.  I’ve come a long way in developing some of these skills, but feel that I need a little brush-up course.  It will help me finish up May with a happy heart and should also be a great springboard into summer.  (I picked these flowers from my garden to help get me in the spirit.)

So come back tomorrow for Day 1, and let’s make these next 15 days the happiest of the year so far!

*edited to add:  It seems there should be a spot for a list “15 Days of Happiness” posts, so here it is:

Day 1: Wear A Smile
Day 2:  Make Time Your Friend Day 3:  A Deep Breath Day 4:  Enjoy the Flowers Day 5:  Give a Gift Day 6:  Try Something New Day 7:  Live in the Moment Day 8:  Do Something you Enjoy Day 9:  Paint Something Day 10:  Pull Some Weeds Day 11:  Plant a Garden Day 12:  Memory Lane Day 13:  Rearrange Something Day 14:

Day 15:

Happy Monday, Jennifer

Still Here


yellowtulips

It’s been almost two weeks since I last posted… an extended break I didn’t plan.  I just set my timer for 15 minutes, long enough to briefly check in here and then get back to work. It’s May now, something I can hardly believe yet at the same time it must be May.  No other time of year feels like this.

Life is crazy busy – frantic – and yet there have been so many little pleasures in the cracks.  Some I’ve done a good job of nourishing; others spring up on their own to briefly flood my heart.

I’m giddy about my flowers, all cut from my own yard.  It’s been such a pleasure to share a vase here and there, to let my children pick at will, and to fill many containers in the house with them.  While I hope to get much better at gardening, and to learn to nurture a cutting garden that’s in bloom non-stop from spring to fall, I’m happy to take spring’s bounty as an achievement.

I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness and how so many different things make me happy, and how so many different things also rob me of happiness.  Sometimes it’s harder to recognize joyful moments when you’re running too fast and that’s definitely the speed we’re at right now.  I’ve decided to keep track of a joyful moment every day in May and hope it will help recharge me.

Today’s joy:  half of my children brought a friend home from school and the entire group managed to get along well for several hours.  My kitchen is clean, even with everyone running in and out and I love that feeling.  My oldest son just did some work in the yard without being reminded and then decided to help a neighbor with his overgrown lawn.   All day long I’ve been reminding myself to focus on what is going right and my heart sang with happiness when I heard him tell me where he was going.  I still have a mountain of clean laundry to fold, several bathrooms to clean, and a long to-do list to work on, but these three things going right are enough.

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My sewing machine is as neglected as my blog.  I was talking to my parents last weekend and described this time of year as my “sewing off-season.”  There is so much to do elsewhere, and now yard work is on the list as well.  I do peek in every day or two at the tidy stacks and hope I’ll have time soon.  I set some wildly important goals for the month, one of which is to thoroughly go through every room in the house before school is out so we can start the summer clean and clutter-free.  While I haven’t made the progress I hoped to, I have had many days when I went to bed exhausted but happy with the feeling that I might just have ended the day a tiny bit ahead of where I started.

The timer has rung and I have an army of hungry children to care for.

And a gorgeous spring evening to enjoy.

I’ll be back soon.  Promise.

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