Category: Helpfulness of Habit

“Good habits are not acquired simply by making good resolves, though the thought must precede the action. Good habits are developed in the workshop of our daily lives. It is not in the great moments of test and trial that character is built. That is only when it is displayed. The habits that direct our lives and form our character are fashioned in the often uneventful, commonplace routine of life. They are acquired by practice.”  -Delbert L. Stapley Two phrases in that quote jumped out at me:  “the workshop of our daily lives” and “the often uneventful, commonplace routines of life.”  So true.  Life is fascinating, isn’t it?  In many ways, the boring stuff is the meat because what we do in those workshops, those commonplace routines, decides all the rest.

I’ve been working on the workshop this week.   My first task is to master the daily schedule, for it is the key to success in every other area.  Each day was different, and I didn’t get to everything on every day.  My two youngest children got sick on Thursday, with another getting sick on Saturday.  Given the usual challenges that come with illness and the hours of sleep lost by them and me, I feel really good about the degree to which I managed my “ideal” schedule this week.

Here goes (in no particular order):

First up, the habit of planning.  I did a ton of it on Monday in Las Vegas.  Since that day I’ve had countless thoughts and ideas come to mind to help me implement plans.  I was also able to take care of some specific action items in regards to individual children because I planned to.  I’m working on a weekly planning agenda that will help me stay on track.

Second, housekeeping.  One of my major goals for 2011 is to improve the housekeeping habits for all ten of us.  I can’t claim many inroads in the children’s habits yet, but my own efforts have made a big difference.  We’ve been tidying our bedrooms before school in the mornings and again before dinner.  The house hasn’t been this clean for this long with so little time spent on it.  I’m excited about my progress and will share more details as they become real habits.  Right now they’re still fresh starts.

Third, the habit of finishing.  I’m really good at dreaming things up.  I’m good at starting.  I’m often good at finishing… eventually.  Deadlines help, but too many things wait around for too long until I get to them.  So, I’m going to become a finisher.  I finished a few things this week.  Most of them are simple and just need a few minutes of attention.

Fourth, creativity.  I did something creative every day.  I worked a little bit on physical things, and also spent time being creative in playing with children, caring for my home, etc.  On Saturday afternoon my sister came over for a couple of hours and we did some sewing.  We had a great time and I worked on a secret project…. more to come soon!

Fifth, Spiritual Growth.  I did a better job of starting my mornings with the scriptures.  I didn’t do it every day, but most of them.  I’ve been reading a lot in the books of Numbers and Deuteronomy.  Such treasures in there!

Sixth, Physical Health:  I implemented my plan for daily exercise.  Lack of sleep threw the schedule off a bit, but it was a great start.

Last, Reading.  My intent is to give myself 30 minutes to read each evening before bed.  The end of the school term created a lot of upheaval in our evening schedule last week, causing late nights.  In the past 3 days I’ve had about 6 hours of real sleep due to sick little ones, so the reading got lost.  I did start a new book, however, and have a strict reading schedule for myself over the next month.  I’m only about 20 pages in but am really enjoying it so far.

So there it is.  A much better beginning… I feel so grateful for the Lord’s help in accomplishing many things this week and for His help in showing me better ways to organize and take care of things for our family at this stage in life.  I am so excited to see where these efforts lead.

Wishing you a great week, Jennifer

Thanks to the kindness of some friends, I just spent a day and a half  in near solitude.  I haven’t experienced quiet like that since my first child was born.  While my husband was attending a convention I sat in the quiet stillness of a hotel room… and loved it!

We’ve all heard the Proverb, “Where there is no vision the people perish” (see Proverbs 29:18).  It is so true.  Without vision we will never amount to much.  But it’s also true that vision alone, without planning and action, cannot bring our dreams to fruition.   I’ve spent several hours here and there planning my goals and habits for 2011, but knew I needed to fill in more gaps.   The vision will wither if I don’t nourish it through consistent effort.


On our drive to Las Vegas we talked for 5 hours about our children, listing each one individually, talking about their strengths, their needs, our concerns, and specific things we can do to help them.  We talked about hopes and fears, about things that haven’t worked out how we wanted them to and about the blessings that have come BECAUSE they didn’t work out how we hoped.  We shared hopes and dreams we have for ourselves, our family, our future in general.  It was wonderful.

I spent most of my solitary time planning.  I turned a table and chair to face the window so I could stare at the blue sky as I worked.  I listed specific things that need to happen this year and scheduled them by month.  I planned time to work on these items.  I tried to find time in my daily or weekly life when I can reasonably work on reaching these goals.  I am a very busy mom, but I know I can improve.

I feel like my success hinges on these things:

1.  Planning.  Planning is where vision is preserved.  It’s how we harness our dreams and give them substance.  I won’t get a chunk of time like that again soon, but I need to be more effective in planning on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.
2.  Schedule.  If I stick to the daily schedule I’ve outlined for myself, I will give up some time that I enjoy using for non-essential, nice-to-do things, but in the long run I believe I’ll gain more opportunities for these things than I currently have.  It won’t be easy; I have to really push myself to get the cleaning done in the time I’ve set aside, and to take better care of myself, but it’s worth a try.  I am excited to develop the self-discipline to really do this.
3.  Prayer.  I am fully cognizant that I am in no way qualified enough, intelligent enough, or talented enough to do what I need to do on my own.  I cannot succeed without His grace and intervention.  I also know this: he DOES intervene.  That’s why I read history.  Through prayer I will find strength and faith to do what needs to be done.

When my brain was on overload I worked on a project I’d taken with me and as I worked I listened to some talks and messages which inspired me.  If you want a masterful discourse on the use of “today” and what it means to receive at God’s hand our daily bread, watch this .  It will take about 30 minutes, but it’s completely worth it.  I watched it three times while I was there.

In all, it was a wonderful trip.  I felt calm, confident, happy in the plans I made, at peace with the feeling that I’m moving in the right direction.

And then we drove home.  As I expected, we were met at the door by our wonderful children all wanting to claim our laps and arms for themselves.  And that is where the test really begins, isn’t it?  When you come down from your mountaintop experience to get back to work in the valley.

My baby has spent most of the day screaming.  The pain her incoming molars cause is so great that she writhes around in my arms, gets down, rolls around on the floor, gets up and comes back to my arms to repeat the cycle.  Schedules are a little more difficult when babies are in pain.


They’re a little more difficult when little ones don’t make it to the toilet and when those little ones rebel against quiet time.

Still, I’ve done ok so far today.  I haven’t done everything on the schedule, but I’ve done a lot.  I’ll do my best today, and then do the same tomorrow.  It will work out.

I’ve been pondering a particular sentence in The Book of Mormon.  King Benjamin (like most kings) faced great challenges from both within and without his kingdom.  Wars with the Lamanites came from without, but perhaps worse was the challenge of false Christs, false teachers and preachers who came from within, spreading lies and discord which always leave people destitute of truth.  Sound like some big challenges?  I’m sure he felt unequal to the task.  And here is the sentence that keeps flitting through my mind:

“…King Benjamin, by laboring with all the might of his body and the faculty of his whole soul, and also the prophets, did once more establish peace in the land.” (Words of Mormon 1:18) All the might of his body and the faculty of his whole soul.

I can give more than I’ve given.  I can work harder.  I can pray more.  There is more for me to lay on the altar.
And with Christ’s help, I will.

Jennifer

I would love to type a glowing report of the lovely week I just spent getting started on all the habits I’m hoping to improve in 2011.

I would love to do that.

But I’d be lying.

Here’s how the week really went.

Due to flooding at the elementary school, most of my children had an extra week of vacation.  We should have started getting up earlier, getting chores done, etc.  But we didn’t.  I let them sleep in.  I thought I would at least get up early and have some quiet time in the mornings. But I didn’t.  Our baby, who pretty much quit sleeping on December 22nd, continued her streak.  She wouldn’t nap.  She would sleep just a couple of hours at night and spend the rest of the night laying on top of my head or kicking me in the face until around 4:30 a.m. when she’d finally fall asleep for a couple of hours.   I’d like to say I got up and carried on, but I didn’t.  I got what sleep I could.

The house fell apart.  We did a few fun things, but generally the past week was spent without much discipline in place.  I ended up with a migraine but the baby finally started sleeping two days ago.   Heaven!

So I just experienced a week in the life of what-not-to-do-if-you-want-your-life-to-improve lifestyle.  One good thing did come of it, though.  When we got back from Denver I worried that several of us were on the verge of getting sick.  I just let my kids sleep as much as they would and all of them shook the junk they were fighting, so at least I’m sending them back to school tomorrow healthy and rested.

Except I’m not sending them back to school tomorrow.  Our friends are.  My husband was headed to Las Vegas today for a business conference.  Our friends heard of his plans and volunteered (brave souls that they are) to stay with our children so I could come too.  I’m not good at things like this, but I knew it meant a lot to my husband.  A frenzy of cleaning (with a migraine) and less than 24 hours later… we were on the road.  I’m hoping my kids are good, stay safe, and that all goes well.  And I really hope our friends will still be friends when we get back.:)

As for me, I’m looking forward to more quiet than I’ve had in years.  I brought a book, a project, my scriptures, my laptop and my notebook.  I’m looking forward to the best planning session I’ve had in years.   As stressful as it was to leave, a good planning session will make it worth it.

I’m also starting a new challenge tomorrow which will help me to get a better jump on several habits that need immediate attention.

As for the habits?  The only habit I can honestly claim to have worked on this week is what I’m calling “A Soft Reply.”  You know how certain children do certain things just the right way and you always respond in just the wrong way?  Well, I’m working on a soft reply with each of my children in the moments when their behavior is most difficult for me to feel patient with them.  It’s helping.  I’m liking it.

And there you have it.  A lousy start to a great year.  Such is life.

Jennifer