Hopeful Homemaker

Cup of Contentment

October 27, 2014 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

The temperatures are slowly dropping. My beloved cherry tree is, at last, shedding its leaves as the wind curls around its branches. We wrapped up five soccer seasons and a football season on Saturday. I baked a pumpkin dessert on Sunday. My fall-ish quilts have been unpacked and tonight every one of them was wrapped around the body of a child as they snuggled together on couches and the floor listening to their Dad read aloud to them. He read all of them to sleep except our almost 16 year old daughter, who sat laughing at the story. She was dubious when we began, but now insists the book should be hers for the night so she can finish it. Her obstacle is her father, who won’t surrender it to her keeping because he, too, wants to read ahead. I’m soaking it all in – the sight of quilts everywhere – quilts I made – warming them all. The sound of my littlest’s gentle breathing as she sleeps curled in a ball on my lap. The feeling of being warm and safe and nourished while the dark and the cold deepen. My husband’s voice as he reads aloud to his family. Who cares about the shoes scattered all over the room? This is heaven, right here, with my family. A sentence from a book I’m currently reading came to mind: “They were cups of acceptance.”

I feel like a cup of contentment.

Contentment has been a foreign feeling lately, at least where family management is concerned. The last couple of months have been an exercise in survival with far too much time spent in the car driving children from practice to game to lesson to school and everything in between. I cannot count the number of times I’ve tried to compose a paragraph – or even a sentence – that captures what it’s been like with all of the children in school, each of them experiencing their own life challenges and battles; me trying to be the glue and the cook and the housekeeper, the taxi, the secretary, the everything for all of them and still maintain some sense of my own personhood – without rambling on and on like a lunatic. The only words I have to describe it somehow make it sound trivial, or like a badge, when really it represents the greatest effort of my life. It’s my greatest effort at consecration, organization, humility and love; the very best I have to offer. So it’s hard when it sounds so ridiculous, because I am giving it everything. Of course, my everything is badly flawed, but it’s all I have to give. I believe in the power and importance of the family. I choose motherhood. It brings all sorts of hidden costs I didn’t know I was choosing as well, but I do my best to take them in stride, make peace with them, and keep working. And praying. I’m praying my way through every single day. Life has felt totally out of balance and the ironic thing is that every time I’m desperate for wisdom to fix it, on my knees praying to know what we can cut, the Lord usually gives me something more to do. This month has been no different as a new assignment at church has come my way, pushing other worthy things aside. My patience has been tried by coaches who change schedules without warning and by the occasional child who refuses to work with the schedule at all. I have prayed for help and strength more times than I can count and repeatedly seen the Lord take 20 minutes of my life and expand them to fill far more than seems humanly possible. I testify that His grace is, indeed, sufficient for the day. Amazingly, He faints not and is not weary, and miraculously has a fresh supply of forgiveness for me every morning. I have felt stretched, drained and empowered all at once. I like knowing I have the capacity (with God’s help) to do all of this, but hate the price it comes with. I’m being more honest with myself in the tally this year, and there is much to consider and weigh.

Tonight I am asking nothing more of myself than to live in the moment. Forgetting the unfinished tasks of motherhood, ignoring the piles of clutter. A couple of weeks ago I had the strong feeling that we need to re-enthrone family read-aloud time in the evenings so we chose a new book and began. It feels SO good.

Tomorrow’s demands are already at the door, clamouring for attention. But tonight, I choose contentment. And it’s glorious.

2 comments 8 kids, abundance, life, parenting

Ordinary Shells

October 12, 2014 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

Each summer when our family visits the beach, the most restorative activity I look forward to is a solitary early morning walk on the beach. This year it wasn’t until our last day of vacation that I was able to enjoy that time. It fills me up in a way that nothing else does. I love the low tide, the sky, the color of the water. My thoughts slow down and I always find myself being tutored by the sea.

Inevitably my eyes are drawn to the treasures near my feet as I make my way to the pier. These shells aren’t unique or amazing yet I love them. I’m drawn to their simplicity and their flaws. I like the holes, the jagged edge, the discoloration. I’m not bothered by their small size or the fact they’re so common. A few of them are always tucked away in my pocket for safe-keeping, a reminder of all I learned on the walk.

I feel a kinship to the shells. I, too, am common and flawed. I have holes and jagged edges. Like my shells, I bear the marks of my journey as I strive to fill my purpose in this life. Surprisingly, it’s the imperfection in my shells that compels me to examine them so closely. Their imperfections make them beautiful.

The shells in this second photo are tiny – not quite 1/2 inch in diameter. Hardly worth mentioning – and yet… they make me stop and think.

Today I read the words, “We are going to do something extraordinary.” Emma Smith declared them in 1842 at a gathering of women that could hardly be called extraordinary by most standards. But I love that she said it. And the women gathered with her believed it. That group of women became the Relief Society organization of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a women’s organization that now has more than 5.5 million members worldwide, and which has accomplished far more good in the way of humanitarian aid, relief and charity than the original members could have imagined.

Can I do something extraordinary?

In my office hangs a quote by David A. Bednar. It says, “Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results.”

It’s funny how often we trick ourselves into thinking that life is about to get easier – right after we clear the next hurdle in our path. It makes me smile today to remember how sure I was of that “fact” when I sent the children back to school in August. Surprisingly – or perhaps I should say, not surprisingly, instead of getting easier it has felt that more is required of me every day than was required yesterday. The stakes seem to get higher as well. I have looked at that quote many times in the past 6 weeks, taken a deep breath, and done my best to do recognize what is right and then do it. I mess up often, and there aren’t any results to see. But deep inside I feel different.

It’s a pretty common thing for me to feel completely out of emotional energy long before the day is done. The demands of my family at this stage are exciting but taxing. Yet it never fails that a simple prayer for strength is answered as I move to the next task and soon enough the day is over and I realize the strength came.

It always comes.
The grace and power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ get me through.

I am like my shells. Common, ordinary, flawed. I often feel small as well. But I am learning that the Master isn’t so bothered by these things as I’m inclined to believe. He finds beauty and value in me despite them. He knows the journey that has left it’s marks on me. He works with me and in behalf of me. He asks me to be faithful, diligent and consistent in my efforts to do what is right. It’s simple and hard and amazing all at once.

“We are going to do something extraordinary.”

Do you believe it? I do.

2 comments abundance, life

Scrappy Hunter’s Star – a finished quilt

August 10, 2014 jennifer Quilting and Sewing

I finished my Scrappy Hunter’s Star quilt and it sure was fun to do!

I love the colors in the Reminisce fabric collection by Bonnie Christine. This scrappy hunter’s star quilt was made from a layer cake plus 2.5 yards of background fabric. The tutorial is here .

The quilting on this quilt is done by machine and by hand. First I stitched on the seam lines between all the blocks, making a basic grid of quilting before adding any hand stitching.

This quilt is my first experience with adding “big stitch” hand quilting with Perle cotton thread. I stitched around each star, alternating the inside and outside of each diamond to keep the stitching in the background fabric for better visibility. I also used a variety of colors to do it.

After stitching around the stars I added diagonal lines, again in a variety of colors, to finish it off. I love the way it looks, and how it invites you to look a little closer.

For the backing I used my favorite print in the collection, a gorgeous floral bouquet. I went back and forth about the backing and when I found this print on sale, I went for it. The binding is another Art Gallery basics print, a coral pink squares print that finishes the quilt beautifully.

Happy Sewing!
-Jennifer