Hopeful Homemaker

We’re all busy, with more to do than time to do it in.  One of the greatest drains on my happiness is the feeling that time is my enemy.  When I feel like I don’t have time to do what I should, I end up feeling helpless.  The garage I don’t have time to clean becomes a source of guilt, the project I don’t have time to finish becomes mere clutter, the laundry I don’t have time to fold sits in a pile, the dream I don’t have time to chase taunts me as my day-to-day life holds no promise of improvement.

I think we’re all like that.  We feel like we don’t have time to finish so we never start.  There isn’t time to do it right so we don’t do it at all.  We don’t have time to be thoughtful so we aren’t.  We don’t have time to organize our whole life so we just give up and keep on as we have been.  The list goes on and on.

I’ve learned that it’s not really time that robs me of happiness.  It’s my perception of time.  We all have the same 24 hours in a day.  In this life is 100% fair.  Sure, we all have different constraints on our time, and we have different stages of life that govern how most of our time is spent. But we all have time.  In order to have time be a source of happiness instead of a drain on happiness, we have to make it our ally.

Enter my kitchen timer.

I may not be able to work for several hours on a project and see it to completion all at once, but I have fifteen minutes.  Somewhere in my day I can find 15 minutes to invest in the life I want to live.

This morning I took the timer in my closet and set it for 15 minutes.  I quickly cleared the floor of clutter, then briefly went through my hanging clothes.  Every time I found something I haven’t worn in a year, I tossed in a bag.  Then I quickly got a couple of boxes down from my top shelf to see what was in them.  To my surprise I found some maternity clothes I had forgotten about.  Two minutes later I had 4 empty boxes and 5 bags of clothing to get rid of this afternoon.  Yes!

My closet isn’t finished.  There is more to go through, but I started something I’ve been avoiding and did far more in 15 minutes than I thought I could.

Right now my timer is ticking away for a 15 minute blogging break.

Yesterday the timer was there when I weeded one of the flower beds outside.

In a few minutes I’ll use it to tackle a pile of clutter on the kitchen counter.

Using 15 minutes to work on something I don’t have time to do makes me feel like I’m in control of time.  It reminds me that I don’t need long segments of time to make improvements in my life.  I can do something small right now, in the next 15 minutes!  When these few minutes become valuable simply by changing my perception of them, time becomes my friend.  It is my tool, given to me by a loving God to make good use of.  He knows that he’s given me more to do than I can possibly accomplish, and he wants to see what kind of decisions I’m going to make with my time.

Some decisions I made a long time ago; when I decided to have a large family I chose to have more cooking, cleaning, housework and driving to do than many other mothers.    It eats up most of my time, but not every single minute.  I have 15 minutes, and a steady 15 minutes each day can work miracles.

Today, set a timer for 15 minutes and do something awesome.    It doesn’t matter that you finish, only that you do it.   Do it every day.   It will make you happy.

I promise!

Good luck, and happy living, Jennifer

I had to make a difficult phone call today.  It concerned one of my children and a problem that child is currently facing (or not facing).   I was worried I wouldn’t express my concerns properly, worried that I would get emotional, worried that I wouldn’t be able effectively invite the person I was calling to be part of the solution.  I tend to be serious-minded (that’s an understatement) and when you take a naturally serious person who’s trying to be serious about a big thing, well, you get a LOT of serious going on, and that’s not always helpful.

I took a deep breath.  I went into a room by myself and started smiling until it felt genuine.  Then I got out a pen and paper to take notes and dialed the number.  My #1 thought was to keep the smile on my face so I would have a smile in my voice.

It worked.   I had a very pleasant conversation about a very unpleasant thing.  I got the information I needed.  I know what I need to do next, and the individual I spoke with essentially joined my team, volunteering to do something TODAY which will help.  She transferred me to another department and the smile in my voice led that conversation as well.  The next person was also helpful, even discovering a small mistake on her end which will make what we need to do just a bit easier.

I hung up the phone smiling.  Is the problem we are facing any less serious than it was before?  Absolutely not.  But by dealing with it in a pleasant, cheerful way, I nurtured small relationships within the community that can help my child instead of isolating myself by allowing my stress, worry and fears to translate into my tone of voice.  I was happy as I ended the call, feeling more in control of my part in the situation.

With that success behind me and an even bigger smile on my face, I made a few more phone calls.  The doctor’s office had overlooked something I needed help with.  I needed information from two different schools regarding two of my students.  I needed to make a last minute change with a dental appointment.  In every case, the smile on my face made all the difference.   Little inconveniences that could have frustrated both myself and the people on the other end of the phone went well, with compliments, laughter, helpfulness and courtesy woven throughout.

And all because I led with a smile.


So today, what can you do to put a smile on your face?

I will testify that if you keep a smile on your face long enough, you will feel happy .
Two hours later, I’m still grinning.  I will also promise you that if you keep a smile on your face, your voice will reflect happiness and goodwill, thus spreading happiness even to those who can’t see you.  I have learned and re-learned this lesson so many times, and yet I still need reminders!

Here are a few things I like to do to get myself smiling:  play a favorite song, turned up loud, and sing along until you feel the smile sticking where it should be.  Look in the mirror and smile at yourself until it’s a genuine one.  Set an alarm (on your phone, perhaps) to go off ten minutes before the craziest parts of your day begin.  Have the reminder simply say:  SMILE.  I use Google Calendar sometimes to do this, creating an event and scheduling reminders because yes, sometimes smiling needs to be an EVENT.  Making it one reminds me how important it is to choose to smile.  Or you can try my favorite thing:  spend a few minutes watching or interacting with children, and you’ll find it impossible not to smile.  They do it constantly and it will rub off on you.  Don’t have any children around?  That’s ok.  Get online and find pictures of happy children and you’ll be smiling in no time.  I’ve also read that pictures of pets make people smile, so you can try that, too.  Just do something to get your brain’s attention and make yourself smile.  Do it at least ten times today.

Good luck, and happy living!

Jennifer