May’s Calendar

Since the end of April I’ve spent considerable time going through every email, every paper sent home, visiting multiple websites, consulting school and district calendars, etc. to learn the time and date of everything that concerns any of my children during May.  It’s the month of insanity, and as I was going through it all, I quickly realized that I could never fit it all on a piece of paper.

I raided my dwindling supply of posterboard (I stash a bunch of it at the beginning of the school year so we never have to go to the store late at night for the surprise poster assignment) and made myself a calendar for May.


Try as I might to minimize it, this month always runs us dry, and often before the month has ended.   I don’t want my kids to think that because you’re sick of it, you get to quit.  I want them to finish the school year well.

I
want to finish the year well (although that goal often morphs as the month goes on into something that resembles surviving it more than conquering it).

So instead of wasting space with names, I chose a marker for each family member and made a color-coded calendar.  At a glace I can see who needs to be where every day.  I didn’t include the long lists of items that need to be finished, or errands, or piano and violin practice.  It doesn’t include the time it takes to tape ankles before games and practices, or driving time or pick-up times.   My personal lists are elsewhere.  This is just the basics.


I’m liking the size of it.  It may be my new scheduling strategy.

I also went through each student’s online gradebooks at their respective schools and made lists of every missing assignment and whatever upcoming assignments were posted.  I know we’re going to get slammed with some projects that I haven’t heard about yet, but I can at least be aware of what has already been assigned and we can at least tackle any missing work.   On the back of the calendar I’ve listed those assignments, also by color, titling them “rescue missions.”


Because most of them were sick before spring break, there are a few of those that weren’t attended to well.  My handsome son who missed a week of school for his ankle has a long list of missing work.  I requested assignments from his teachers that week, but only 3 responded and so we’re doing lots of rescuing there.


I’ll be honest.  The calendar by itself doesn’t look too bad.  The list of schoolwork looks doable.  Putting them together is tricky.  Take tonight, for example.  We’re going to spend 5 hours driving to, waiting for, watching and driving home from a soccer game.  It will be fun, but it’s tough to get much done under those circumstances.  We will have another late bedtime for the younger ones.  Add to that the laundry, haircuts, clean rooms, meal prep, reading time, and I quickly feel like this:


I am trying to avoid eating poorly during an on-the-run month.  With little time for cooking, many of our meals look like this:


Some of the kids don’t love it but they all eat it, and that’s a good thing.

As the month flies by I’m also noticing a lot of areas in which we’re falling short.  Some of the children have developed behavior patterns that need to be corrected.  I’m keeping a list of them so that the minute school is out we can begin Behavior Modification 101, or in layman’s terms, do what you’re asked to do when you’re asked to do it.  Should be fun!

How is your May going?

Hopeful Homemaker

The Cast is Off!

Monday morning found us at the surgeon’s office to get our first look at the broken ankle, post-surgery.  Here he is on the table, equal parts anticipation and worry, trying to hide both, and irritated with his mom for remembering the camera.  Someday I think he’ll be glad we have pictures of his life, but right now he’s mostly disgusted by my efforts at record keeping.


Seriously, it was the biggest cast I’ve ever seen on the lower leg.  EVERYONE commented on how enormous it was.  At school he had people stop him to ask about it, and I heard a lady at church exclaim, “THAT for just an ankle?”








All that padding!

And the ankle emerges at last…




And there is the incision.  It’s longer than they said it would be.  The pre-operative markings are still there.  The x-rays look good, but he’ll be in a boot and on crutches a while longer.  They removed the stitches but one of them broke and will just have to work it’s way out.   The ankle is still quite swollen, which they said is common.  He has no feeling around the area, which should return with time.   So this phase is finished and we’ll press forward.  Four more weeks until more x-rays and then we’ll find out when he can start walking again.

I had NO idea when this first happened how long the process would be.   Poor guy.  He is sick, sick, sick of crutches, but grateful he can take normal showers again, fit his leg through normal clothes, and so forth.  There is always something good to find, right?

These little people were fabulous while we waited.  There were no chairs in the cast room so we just stood there against the cabinets and watched.




And life goes on.  I hope I make it to June.

HH

Joy, week 18



Every once in a while I get an urge to read one of Jane Austen’s classics so I recently enjoyed reading Pride and Prejudice — my favorite — once again.  This time through I was struck particularly by Darcy’s admission to Elizabeth at the end of the book that he had been taught correct principles but had still gone amiss in his application of some of them as the years passed.  Elizabeth’s refusal of his hand at first angered him but soon he allowed a sincere self-evaluation and came to cherish her all the more for making him know himself, for demanding of him the gentleman he had intended to be, and when he saw clearly again he went about the task of improving, of changing, of earnestly becoming the man he knew he should be.

I felt a kinship to Darcy as I finished the book this time, not because my life parallels his in any particulars, but because that experience of waking up to comprehend the distance between what you are and what you thought you were has been mine of late.  I have wondered to myself more than once how someone so good-intentioned and with such efforts to be principled, could still end up here .  You may remember this post about a stack of literature I am reading.  The books are about a specific challenge we are dealing with as parents, and what I am reading makes so much sense and yet simultaneously goes against enough common parenting practices as to make me feel like I’m on the right track and need to turn everything I’m doing upside down at the same time.  There have been days and moments of frustration but in my learning, repenting and practicing I also have a growing feeling of gratitude for this opportunity to truly know myself and choose to become the mother I intended to be.  Because we usually compare the inside of our lives to the outside of other families,  I don’t know that this process is something most people would ever notice, but because I’m the one who lives inside my life it feels like fundamentals are being shifted and realigned in major ways.   One of my great weaknesses is a tendency to become impatient with slow growth, and this kind of growth is definitely slow.

I realize all of this is ambiguous.  No need to worry; all is well.  I choose to be vague instead of specific because I also feel a responsibility to be loyal to my children and refrain from advertising their challenges or weaknesses in ways that would be, to them, a breach of trust.   I share it only because I think many of us have had that experience of waking up to our shortcomings as we gain knowledge and because it is the strongest ongoing theme in my life right now, next to the deafening roar of a schedule gone crazy during this last month of school.

Last week can be easily summed up in a few short sentences:  Too much time in the car.  Too many meals prepared in a hurry.  Too many late bedtimes.  Too much unfolded laundry.  More children fighting colds.  Too many days spent responding to the urgent issues of the day instead of systematically working on things of greater long-term importance.

I confess that all day today I’ve been fighting the temptation to indulge in self-pity and frustration and so I will refrain from typing too much in order to avoid it.  Yesterday I was driving my daughter to her soccer game when I discovered the home of a friend who had moved.  I had lost track of her and knew only that she’d moved.  Imagine my delight to drive by her home and see her standing on her driveway!  I went back and we visited and I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day.  Yesterday at church I had a conversation with a lady that went so well that I felt that same smile on my lips.  I was able to help a friend and this week stopped at the door of several great women I haven’t visited with in a while.  Sometimes those doorstep conversations, designed to say “I was thinking about you” are the highlight of the day.  I want to do it more.

I dealt with some stains on my six year old’s school shirts that I just hadn’t taken care of.  That felt good.  I cleaned the laundry room.  I almost cried when the rest of the bills for my son’s recent ankle surgery arrived but was saved by the face of my two year old peering up at me to ask if I was sad.  She then climbed up and entertained me with nonstop chatter for 30 minutes, becoming increasingly animated in her mannerisms.  Oh, I love that girl.  And it’s a good thing, too, because she racked up quite a tab this week in broken things.  She is a class all her own!

I cannot tell you how far short I am falling.  I can tell you how earnestly I am trying.
And that will have to do, because there certainly aren’t two of me!

Good luck with your week.  If you’re like me, you need a lot of it!

Jennifer

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