Growing



My little girls are growing up so fast.  It catches me off guard, sometimes, which is why I took these pictures last weekend.  It was just a moment.  I turned around and there they were, standing against an old brick wall, watching me.  They’ve grown.

As I reached for my camera, tears pricked at my eyes.

I wanted so much to experience motherhood as my best self.  Yet here I am in a stage that seems designed only to reveal the worst in me.  It is so humbling.

It’s also sad.  It makes me ache for them.  They deserve so much better.  And I ache for myself, as well.  I wanted more for all of us.

But here we are, growing up anyway.


Will someone please push pause while I collect myself?

HH

I wish.

Today has been a catch up from behind day, full of emails to teachers regarding make-up work from last week, as well as visits to the doctor for immunizations (21 shots, all together, for 7th grade, kindergarten, and the little girls).  We’ve spent time on the phone, time in the car, time with the calendar trying to work everything out for the insane month of May.

This is what I wish I’d been doing instead.  (Notice I didn’t write should .  I should have been doing laundry.)

I wish I’d made one of these wreaths :


and I wish I’d ordered one of these trash cans for our kitchen.  Mine has seen better days.

I wish I’d tried this recipe out for a Family Night treat:


I’m craving lemon.

And speaking of shopping and baking, I am totally in love with these cake stands .

I’ve had this tutorial sitting open on my desktop for more than a week.  I wish I had time to try it.  Along with finishing all the other ridiculous projects I accumulate.

But it’s raining.  And it’s Monday.  So we’ll be doing homework.

And that’s ok.  The above list is just stuff.  Trying to motivate 5 children to get caught up on homework is what life is really all about.  Sort of.  Or at least, I hope so.  ‘Cause that’s what I’m doing!

Hopeful Homework… I mean, Homemaker.

A Year of Habits, no. 18



Happy Mothers Day to all.  I hope your day has been one that reminded you why you’re doing what you’re doing, that it matters, and that while none of us will ever be a perfect woman you can simply do your best.  It seems to me that’s the real purpose of Mother’s Day.    The rest of it is either fluff or guilt-inducing.

I’m not sure what to write about my week.  The general substance of life in the past 7 days has been covered here and here .   I harvested what I sowed:  not much.

Yesterday I drove six children to Logan Utah to visit my adorable sister and her husband.  He was graduating from Utah State University and it was fun to celebrate with them for a few hours.

In spite of my instructions to my husband that Mother’s Day was canceled this year, he’s worked hard and made it a nice day.  He cooked me a nice breakfast and took care of dinner.  I really didn’t feel like there was anything to celebrate today; my list of things I’ve messed up is significantly longer than the list of things I’m doing right.    As we tried to leave for Church this morning my three year old daughter got on the rocking chair to sing this song:  “I hate Mommy.  I hate Mommy.”  It’s really just a day.  The baby still cries, the boys still poke each other, the house still gets messed up.  It is nice, however, to receive a sincere note from your daughter and to hear your 13 year old son act like he might actually like you someday.

So here we are, ready to start what will likely turn out to be the busiest, most stressful week of the year.  I am confident none of us will get the stomach flu; we covered that last week.  I’m not so confident about most other things.

For the record:

Housekeeping
:  still behind, but trying to gain ground.  Spent some time trying to organize the basement storage room, selecting things to get rid of as well.

Planning:

working on a system that will work for me on a weekly and daily basis.  I hope to master this soon.

Reading:

plowing through Team of Rivals.  Still.  When I have time to pick it up, I’m loving it.  I am more amazed by Abraham Lincoln all the time.

Finisher:

finished a small project.  Mostly disgusted with myself, though.

Record Keeping:

spent time writing in my journal today, working through a concern I have.

Creativity:

had big plans for Mother’s Day, but all were postponed due to illness.

A Soft Reply:

I’m a lecturer by nature, but am trying to reform myself.  I bit my tongue at least once each day when talking to my oldest son and refrained from lecturing.

And there you have it.

Wishing you a great week, Jennifer

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