Blessing Blanket

For my baby’s blessing day, I had pictured a lovely little pieced quilt in all white.

But on the morning of the blessing, I had nothing done.  I saw this coming, so I had picked up a minky fabric with a lovely paisley and flower like pattern on it, and some white satin blanket binding to make a  ruffle with.
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A few minutes at the sewing machine and this is what we had:
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It turned out really pretty, and it looked lovely with her gown.
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There she was, the star of the evening, and she slept right through it.
Can’t say that I blame her.
And may I be allowed to say that I love, I mean I LOVE the little rhinestones on that waist?
Meaning, I am smitten with that gown.  It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.

Next to the baby, that is.  She’s perfect, and I love her so much.
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So, now that the event is over, I can’t put the blanket away.  I know I’m just begging for something bad to happen to it, to stain it or otherwise ruin it before I pack it away, but I can’t help myself.  It’s the perfect weight and it’s so soft and pretty.  I wish I had one my size!  So I just keep wrapping her in it.  And life is good when you can do that.
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A Full Heart

It is late at night and I’m holding my baby as I type this.  The muffled voices of my husband spending time talking with his Dad come floating from the basement.  Everyone else has gone to bed.  I love the quiet sounds of a house that is asleep.  It’s been a busy weekend and early  tomorrow morning our guests will leave for the airport.  My little ones will wake up and wonder where there grandmas and grandpas went.  We will change the sheets on all the beds and my kids will move back into their rooms.  We’ll eat the leftovers for dinner and by Tuesday our lives will be back to normal.

But for now I must pause and savor this moment.

I look around me at the evidence of a weekend well spent, a weekend spent with people we love.  The furniture is out of place and the extra chairs are still scattered around.  The kitchen is clean and tidy thanks to many helping hands.  The streamers are still up; dim lights still cast a glow on the remnants of tonight’s celebration.  I love to see those shadows of what was, a few hours ago, a house filled with wonderful people.  I love the crumbs on the tablecloth, the empty dishes waiting to be washed or freshly washed and waiting to be put away – evidence of the deep satisfaction I feel in preparing food for guests and having them enjoy it.  I love that I was somehow able to pull it off, that I’m learning to smile and say yes to offers of help, and I love how wonderful it felt to have everyone here.  I hope that they understood that all of my efforts were a gift of love to them, an attempt to provide them with an experience and a memory that makes their time spent here worthwhile.

Tonight was a celebration of life.  My little baby, now 7 weeks old, was blessed.  The room was filled with family and friends and my sweet little daughter looked angelic in her gown.  My heart is full of gratitude for so many things:  for my little baby, for the beauty of the moment, for the gift of creativity, for my parents who are so generous in their praise and their help, for friends who would share their evening with us.  For my Mom and her hours spent in my kitchen helping me feed 20-30 people for the weekend.  Gratitude for my husband’s Mom whose help in the kitchen has been equally valuable.  For the delight my children have felt in the presence and love of both sets of grandparents.  I feel so thankful for all of it.  So thankful for people.

Both my husband and I have had our parents here with us this weekend, along with brothers and sisters and their spouses and friends.  We’ve cooked and baked and cleaned.  We’ve eaten delicious food and basked in the privilege of being together for a while.  I’ve loved every minute of it.

For me, the weekend has also been a quiet celebration of friendship.  My heart has ached with love as I have shared not only the fruits of my own efforts with my guests, but also the fruits of my friends’ efforts with them.  Food, activities, and a clean house were all gifts I could offer because they were first offered to me by women I love deeply.  It was hard to say yes when they offered their talents in my behalf, but right now I feel so grateful that I did.   I feel humbled that they love me enough to have expended effort and thoughtfulness in my direction, anxious to find ways to express my gratitude, aware that my love for them has taken on a new dimension that will not be forgotten.

And so I’m off to bed, off to savor the feeling of a bulging household one last time before it’s over, before I wake up to hug and kiss them all goodbye.  I feel so blessed, so very blessed.

Time

My baby is two weeks old.
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I should be doing the dishes.  Instead, I’m sitting on my couch in my pajamas while my toddlers play upstairs and I hold my sleeping baby on my lap.  I sit here, basking in the sounds of a quiet house (more rare than you might think) and wondering at the passing of time.  One the one hand, I feel like celebrating that we’ve made it through the first two weeks of life!  In many ways that is no small accomplishment, although we may take it for granted.  On the other hand, I wonder how it’s gone so quickly and if there was more I should have noticed and appreciated.  It’s certainly been the busiest first two weeks of life that I’ve ever experienced.
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I remember the words of a Christmas carol:  “how do you write down a baby’s first cry?”

I’ve been pondering that these past two weeks as I’ve tried to drink in the wonders of my newborn.  More than once, as I’ve held her, my silent prayer has been  “Please, help me to never forget what this feels like!”  How DO you write it down?  How DOES a photo capture the feeling of having a tiny little body fill your whole vision?  How CAN you memorize the moment and hold it a little longer?
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Of course I think all these thoughts while I also learn to take care of the baby, myself, and the rest of my family.  Thank goodness for my Mom’s help in the first week, or we’d be in terrible shape.  We’ve had 5 soccer seasons start, and are trying to figure out a back to school routine that will work.  I’ve got a 7th grader, 5th grader, 3rd grader, 1st grader and kindergartener.  Some of those are really big years!   I don’t want to miss anything about them.  Neither do I want to miss the antics of my three year old or the light-speed growth of my 20 month old.
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I also don’t want miss the tiny fingers that curl around mine, the little lips that open so sweetly and remind me of a baby bird waiting for a worm, the feeling of a tiny bundle snuggled against my chest and the whisper of her sweet breath as she sleeps peacefully.  I don’t want to forget it, either.  I want to find some way to bottle it, to preserve it so I can experience it later when she’s grown and I want to turn back time.  If only there was some way to do that!
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I remember  reading the words of Neal A. Maxwell years ago.  He was writing about how we are always wanting to fast forward to the future or hold back the tide, neither of which is really possible.  He said, “We are not at home in time.  We belong to eternity.”
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Today I don’t feel at all at home in time, but I’m trying to appreciate what I have before me right now.  And I’m thankful, so thankful, that this little one is part of my eternity, even if we will all do a lot of changing along the way.

Jennifer

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