I’m Back… Sort of

After giving myself a day to sit, hold my baby, ponder life and growth and so forth, I had to give myself a reality check.  So yesterday I attempted to take care of some of the “normal” responsibilities of a mother which I’ve ignored shamelessly for two weeks.

I put on a pair of jeans (non maternity) for the first time in about 4 months.

I got reacquainted with my laundry room.
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I actually did some laundry (which I forgot about and left sitting in the washer for about 6 hours)!  But hey, at least I did some, right?
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I put a frozen lasagna in the oven that was made by a friend while I was in the hospital… and decided to bake some homemade rolls for dinner, as that sounded easier than actually loading 4 little ones up and going to the store.

When I got to the part where you roll out the dough and make the rolls, my newborn started screaming.
I panicked, and made one pan of the ugliest rolls I’ve ever made.  I put the other three in bread pans as fast as I could.
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As soon as I had the dough off my fingers, she quit screaming.

I drove my daughter to soccer practice and intended to feed the baby while I waited.  Except it was so hot that I couldn’t wake her up!

I got home and the lasagna wasn’t done yet, and my husband had to leave for a meeting.  Oh well, I tried.  The lasagna was delicious, even if my poor husband wasn’t there to eat it.

Even if the rolls were ugly, they tasted good, especially with some of my homemade blackberry raspberry jam on them.
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I got on the phone and worked on organizing a carpool for my 5th child who started kindergarten this morning.
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So right now I have 4 piles of clean, unfolded laundry in my bedroom, a totally dirty kitchen, a clingy 20 month old, lots of ideas about things I’d like to do for our family to help organize us for this newly begun school year, and plenty of good intentions.  We won’t look at the piles of dirty laundry in all the bedrooms, and we won’t talk about how long it seems to take to do things when you’ve got a newborn.  We’re working on it!  I do have one positive declaration to make about yesterday:  I didn’t cry once!  (We won’t talk about how we’re doing on that one this morning)

Economy of Abundance

I wish I had pictures to help illustrate what I’m feeling these past few days, but I don’t.

For the past 6 weeks I’ve been working on a major undertaking that involved putting together large bulk orders of products from multiple places for the benefit of a group of people I’m associated with.  As things came to a culmination last week, I was staring at literally, thousands of pounds of materials that needed to be picked up, packed and distributed.

And I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant.  (We won’t talk about some of my assesments of my personal mental state when I decided that I could pull this off right now. )

I’ve been doing this for a while; it’s a volunteer job for me.  I do it because I care about the people, the products, and because I was asked to do it.  But this order was about a 400% increase over what we’ve done in the past.  I was both thrilled and terrified.  In my mind I re-lived every scenario from past experience and knew how many glitches could mess things up.

So I prayed.  A lot.  Not for me, but for everybody who was counting on me.  And I have this to say:
God’s economy is one of abundance.

I’ve said that before, and I wholeheartedly believe it is true.  But it’s a lesson I re-learned last Saturday when I watched people show up, dig in, help out, and get an enormous job done in only 2 1/2 hours.  I re-learned it every day last week when the next little step worked out instead of blowing up in my face.  And every time my husband took a break from very important things to make sure that I wouldn’t have to physically manage it alone.

We’re living in a society that is completely fixated right now on scarcity of every kind.  But I know that’s not God’s way.

I could bore you with lots of details, and some would try to explain them away.  That’s fine.  But this I know, that it is often in our scarcity (in my case this time, the scarcity of energy and physical abilities that come at the end of  a pregnancy) that God is able to show us just how much he can do.  Somehow he is best able to do this for us when we feel weak, or afraid, or when we’re intensely aware of how many things can go wrong.  That’s when he shows us that he can make things work out, in ways we didn’t expect, using people and help we didn’t forsee, and do it faster than any prior experience of ours would predict.  And I learned how much God cares about all these people I was trying to help, and that he cares about my efforts to do it.  Isn’t life wonderful!

So I’ve been feeling really grateful for the past few days, and I needed to express it.

Look up!

This afternoon I decided to brave the heat (yes I’m being a wimp but I have a good excuse) and clear my front porch of all the kid clutter that they’ve left behind.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I’ll list some of the items I found there:  socks, toys, empty cups with spoons in them from yesterday’s snow cone adventures, trash, jewelry, and a selection of Dad’s tools from this morning’s skateboard workshop.

It’s nice to get things put away, swept up, and looking a little more inviting.

As I was walking around the house to put something away, I looked up.

And something wonderful happened.
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I was instantly struck by the beauty of the sky:  the gorgeous blue and fluffy white clouds everywhere.
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It reminded me of a quote I memorized years ago:
“The sky is the daily bread of the eye.”

I paused to turn around in a circle and drink in the beauty in every direction.
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I realized what a blessing it can be to look up in life.
My day was enhanced by simply absorbing a bit of beauty that had been there for the taking for who knows how long.
I’m so glad I didn’t miss it.  I wasn’t aware that my heart was hungry for such a sight.

I realized how often I get my head down, focusing only on the task at hand, on getting through or just enduring.
Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes to look up and drink in the big picture, remembering that there is much of beauty and life and happiness to be enjoyed.
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Much of our experience is a matter of perspective.
In raising my eyes today, my perspective was enlarged.
I felt more appreciative of the simple abundance around me, more aware of the gift of life.
I walked inside feeling like a happier person than when I walked out.
I wonder how many times a day God has gifts like this just waiting for us?  How often has He prepared something of great beauty to buoy us up on our journey?  Do we notice?  And if we do, do we let it change us?
How can we receive his gifts if we don’t see them?

My invitation today:  look up!  Look around!  Notice the simple gifts that are waiting for you, and partake.
Have a wonderful day!

HH

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