Musings on Life and Beauty Archives - Page 27 of 146

15 Days of Happiness :: Live in the Moment

May 21, 2013 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

Someone once said “We do not remember days; we remember moments.” I agree with this. Each day is filled with so many moments we really don’t remember them all, but I also find that when I live in the moment I am able to grab more of them, and sometimes much of a day is recorded in my heart by consciously memorizing moments.

I’m doing this little happiness challenge because I know I’m in some of the hardest weeks of my year. It was late last night when my youngest daughter, who is a terrible sleeper, finally gave up:

Today I admit I feel a lot like she looks. I haven’t had enough sleep in weeks, and this morning as I held a grouchy toddler on my lap I almost fell asleep doing it! And yet, there is nothing I can do to slow down just yet. The sprint must continue.

In a few minutes I will leave to pick up 7 children from school early, drive two of them home as a favor to a friend, then take the others back to the school (feeding them lunch in the car) for some end-of-year testing. From there we will pick up my older students and begin the weekly shuttling that piano lessons require. Sandwiched in there we have math homework to complete, an after school obligation, and a soccer game to get ready for. I don’t yet know how I’m going to get the soccer player to her game on time and the kids home from piano. I don’t know how the house will get clean for tonight’s party or what my family will eat for dinner while I host another party. I know it will all work out; I just don’t know how to make some of it work yet, and that’s a stress. As I’ve had these thoughts racing through my mind all morning, I realized that I am making my day harder by worrying about it all at once. It’s not even noon and I’m worried about 5 pm and 7 pm and so forth.

So I took a deep breath and remembered that I can lighten my load if I deal with the day sequentially. I’ll tackle what’s in front of me right now, and soon I will have navigated the day successfully. I can also remind myself that I knew this day would be nuts, which is why I got everything ready for the party in advance. Relief!

My #1 priority for the next 10 hours is to live in the moment. There is so much to enjoy if I’m not racing ahead of myself mentally. The top picture of my daughter giggling on my bed came in a stressful moment and I’m so glad now that I paused to enjoy her for 30 seconds.

I paused at the soccer field on Saturday to marvel at the beauty of the location, the beauty of the mountains, the green grass, the clouds and sky. I turned in a circle and took in every angle, wishing my husband was there with me to enjoy it. I memoried it, and have re-lived it in my mind many times since. The moment is frozen in my heart as a happy one simply because I paused.

Yesterday was a rush as well. How glad I am today that I paused for a moment to read and photograph this to-do list, created by my daughter before she left for school. The chalkboard is now covered with something else and that sweet list is gone. I’m so glad I read it and shared it, because the Smiths, who were driving for 8 hours to get to our house, enjoyed it too.

I’m setting my timer for 15 minutes to clean as fast as I can. Then we’re off for several hours. Before I go to bed tonight I will write in my journal at least 5 moments I was present for, 5 moments I memorized because I wasn’t rushing ahead.

I hope you’ll join me!

Jennifer *This post is part of a short series on happiness. You can find a complete list of all posts in the series here . For the previous post, click here . Find the next post here .

One comment abundance, happiness

15 Days of Happiness :: Try Something New

May 20, 2013 jennifer Desserts, Musings on Life and Beauty

Studies have shown that novelty and challenge bring happiness, so today my happiness task was to try something new. I had to send a dessert somewhere, so I tested this recipe for Coconut Oatmeal Cookies.

Granted, making these cookies wasn’t much of a challenge, but tasting them as a family did add a feeling of novelty to the afternoon. (And by the way, they’re delicious! Even my children who avoid coconut were begging for more.) It’s nice to do something different, nice to add a new recipe to the file of favorites, nice to be out of the rut.

What new thing can you try today? What challenge could you tackle that would make you feel good about yourself?

I’ll share a challenge I’ve been working on for the past year or so. I’m kind of a homebody and tend to be uncomfortable with big group activities. Give me one or two people to talk to and I’ll make friends quickly, but throw me into a large group get-to-know-you game and I feel like running. This can sometimes make me hesitate to plan parties for my kids, so I’ve been consciously working on throwing fun parties, particularly for my teenagers and older children. I’m lucky to have a good friend who I regard as a master party planner and I’ve called her for suggestions and advice. I’ve had the opportunity to throw some parties for girls soccer teams this year and because I researched, planned well, and went in with a smile, they have gone well. We had one here last Saturday night and when the house finally quieted down I was happy in the knowledge that 15 girls had a great time at my house.

Tomorrow night I’m throwing a second party for my 10 year old daughter’s team. I’m both more and less nervous. Less nervous because I think they’ll have a nice time; more nervous because I don’t have much time to clean the house and do the last minute rushing around that always comes with parties. Either way, it’s going to happen and I’m going to get better at acquiring the skill of planning great parties.

In her awesome book, The Happiness Project , Gretchen Rubin says this, “One reason that challenge brings happiness is that it allows you to expand your self-definition. You become larger…. Research shows that the more elements make up your identity, the less threatening it is when any one element is threatened.” (p.78) Whatever it is, trying something novel and/or challenging will make you a better person. Don’t forget the 15 minute approach if this sounds like too much work. Choose a challenge, set a timer, and see what happens. Have fun!

15 Days of Happiness :: Give a Gift

May 18, 2013 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty, Pretty Packages

There’s nothing like receiving an unexpected gift. I’m pretty sure that the only thing better is giving the unexpected gift. Once upon a time I felt like I was a really good gift-giver. It was back when I only had a few little children and I was pretty much still in control of my life. I had more energy and resources than they required of me, so I focused on becoming a good giver of gifts.

As our family became larger and the older children required more (and ate more!) my time and resources were all directed toward simply taking care of my family and I didn’t have much money, time or creativity left for giving gifts. I began to hesitate to give them because I felt they weren’t good enough, and they certainly didn’t feel like an adequate expression of my regard.

I’m repenting of this folly. Each of us is of infinite worth. There will never be a thing I can give to someone that could possibly match their worth. Some of the gifts I give will be perfect and some may feel more like I’m offering dandelions instead of roses. But a gift is a gift, and if it’s offered from my heart with sincerity then that is good enough. We must learn to give gifts without expecting a certain response, expression of gratitude, reciprocation of gifts or recognition. When we let go of all expectation and simply give the gift with no emotional strings attached, we experience joy. The purity of our intent allows us to feel joy in the giving no matter the reception.

I am also learning how to give gifts that are hard to give. Perhaps it’s a thing we hesitate to part with, or time we don’t feel like we have. We can give “expensive” gifts without spending a penny when we share our time and efforts. These gifts are, in some ways, the healthiest to give. They stretch us and make us bigger than we were.

I recently gave a treasured out-of-print book to a friend. It wasn’t easy to part with a favorite I may never see again, but it was the right thing to do and has made me happy every time I reflect on it. Simple little things like a package of mints or a bottle of favorite nail polish can be delightful if wrapped with a pretty ribbon and a kind note. It takes effort, but the return is totally worth it.

Today, give a gift. Maybe you just finished reading a book you enjoyed. Wrap it up and give it to a friend. Stopping at the grocery store? Grab an extra pound of strawberries, tie a bow around them, and write a note to someone telling them how much you appreciate them. Keep it simple, but put your heart into it. It only needs to take 5 minutes but it will make you happy.
Have a great day!

Jennifer