Hopeful Homemaker

How the day turned out

December 4, 2012 jennifer Uncategorized

I wish the family room looked like this. It looked like this last week, but tonight there is stuff everywhere.

I ought to finish decorating for Christmas. I started last week when I had an hour to work on it but haven’t made time for it since. Part of me wants to keep it minimal, just so we can live with less “stuff” this month. We’ll see how it turns out!

We said good-bye to my parents this morning, then got the children off to school. I took four of my girls to the dentist to have some work done and while we were there, ran into an old friend. I found myself reflecting later in the day on how kind our children’s dentist has always been to us, how his office is a safe place to be. I felt prompted to ask a question while we were there today that ended up saving us $200. I am so thankful.

While driving this afternoon I saw two girls, arms clasped, skipping down the sidewalk together. The sight brought a smile to my face.

Our afternoon and evening took some twists and turns as various children, especially those with numb mouths, fell asleep on the couch. Some would wake up after others fell asleep and it turned out that I had one or two people sleeping on the couch for six hours today. At one point my three year old woke up and was very distraught so I sat down to hold her and she went back to sleep in my arms. I looked at her lovely face and remembered how common it once was for me to hold sleeping babies. It rarely happens now, and so I sat and enjoyed it. There were a thousand things I could have run around and done, but it was good to sit and hold her. Dinner was simpler than usual but there was a peaceful feeling in our home as everyone quietly accommodated others.

I finished reading a book today while holding my sleepy girl. I don’t know about you, but I always feel like I’m dragging myself out of another world when I finish a book. This book was interesting and I’m eager to discuss it with the ladies in our family book club. One thing it did for me: I want to write.

I’m feeling grateful for our city library lately. Without the pressure of a due date I have finished more books than I would have if I owned them. For years I have avoided that library because it never has what I’m looking for, but this year I’ve had great luck.

I was so proud of my husband today. He received a hurtful email that someone meant to send to someone else, and it was about him! He really could have gone after them for it, but chose to be kind and forgiving. Because of his choice, the individual had an opportunity to fix the situation and we’ve had lots to chuckle about since.

Tonight I read two of my all-time favorite Christmas stories to the children. I always love the way they center our hearts in what really matters.

Some of my late afternoon nappers are now wide awake, keeping me company on the couch while their brothers and sisters sleep soundly upstairs. It’s nice to have company.

Life is good.

Joy, week 48

December 2, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

The lights in our house are dim. A small Christmas tree in the other room glimmers cheerfully. Downstairs I hear my parents playing ping pong with my children. In a few minutes we will all gather together to listen to our Church leaders speak about Christmas and then the season will really feel like it’s begun. We’ll sit together, some of us wiggly and some of us content, all piled together with popcorn and Christmas quilts and bask in just being together.

What a great weekend it’s been! My parents flew to town and we’ve loved every minute of being with them. Our son who turned twelve received the priesthood this weekend and it was very special. I’m so proud of him. We’ve also enjoyed spending time with my brother and his family and my sister and her husband drove down from Logan to spend time with us as well. We did a bit of shopping, lots of talking, lots of shaking our heads and laughing at the two teenagers in my home who have passionate opinions about everything that anyone says or does.

I was able to finish a few gifts and give them away early and it felt great. In the past I often “save” a gift until Christmas, but in the last few weeks I’ve been giving more gifts right now, just for fun, and it has been wonderful. I’m grateful to have a few things crossed off my list and taken care of, which gives me renewed energy to work on the projects I haven’t finished. I’m still hoping to make each of my children a quilt for Christmas. I have four quilt tops finished, one of them partly quilted, two more quilt tops cut out and waiting to be pieced, and two that I’m a bit stumped on so I haven’t even started them. They’re all VERY simple in design and construction, but the funny thing is that all my children care about is that there’s minky fabric on the back. So I’m going to keep working on them and hope I can finish. Getting up an hour early to sew before waking everyone has worked well so far and if I can keep it up I should be ok.

I’ve found myself a little wound up again lately with stress, which has probably shown in these posts. Stress over so many things that I can’t really control, and others that I can only partially influence. I’ve been discouraged that the emotional equilibrium I found had escaped me so suddenly. I found that there were moments when the stress was paralyzing me, when I was standing there with a stomach ache instead of dismissing the things I can’t control and prioritizing my efforts in my circles of influence. Calming down and having the faith in the Lord to at least not feel sick has been a major objective this week, and I’m grateful to say that it worked. Things will work out, not likely how I hope they will, but somehow things always work out. The knot in my stomach is gone and there’s gratitude instead. For instance, I was feeling stressed about an expensive dental appointment coming this week; now I feel grateful that we have the chance to do this for our children. I’ve been reminding myself, “this is why God gave us money.” So here I sit, with a heart at peace again, wondering a little at that gift, the “peace which passes all understanding” and thinking that of all the things I enjoy, this one is one of the most valuable.

I realized that I haven’t written a thing about the JOY books I started for my children in January. I kept it up well until we had our injuries. First my son’s ankle and then my husband’s knee, and during all that time escaped me and before I knew it I was two months behind. I thought about starting them again at the end of the summer but never got the habit back in place. In fact, much of my record keeping this year has been very sporadic; even posts on this blog have been infrequent in stages. While I don’t feel like beating myself up over it, I do feel sad. I’ve lost a precious layer of my life, and of my children’s lives, by not recording it. Lately I’ve found myself craving that layer, that sense of perspective and appreciation that comes with journaling. I need to figure out what to do with the starts of those joy books and then start again. I really love the idea, and I love what it did to my perception of them when I was writing every day. So that goal has been a flop. Bummer.

I want so much for this Christmas season to feel special for my children and I want it in the old-fashioned, cost-nothing way. I hope that the next few weeks will be infused with happiness, service, being together. That will be tricky and will take careful planning to work around recitals, concerts, deadlines and the mandatory science fair project we have to ~~finish~~ start. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I HATE science fair projects. Passionately. But we do them anyway and life goes on.

I am grateful to be alive. I’m grateful, even, for the twists and turns that make life so unpredictable (and sometimes frustrating) but which also provide opportunity to take a deep breath and become a better person in our response. I’m so thankful for my family and this sense of belonging we all have. What a gift it is!

And so the season is upon us, and here comes Christmas! Let’s enjoy it!

Jennifer

The Big #12

November 29, 2012 jennifer Parties

Someone at our house turned twelve today. He wanted a birthday party with “a bunch of games with my friends.”

While I was happy to oblige him, I must also admit that I really stress about birthday parties and today was no different. But even with the stress, I am earnestly trying to get better at parties, and especially at parties for older children and teenagers.

So, now that it’s over and the boys had a great time and my son is happy, I’m going to list the games we played for two reasons. First, I’m sure I’ll lose my list of games and wish I’d written it down somewhere else next time I’m planning a party. Second, I have a feeling that I’m not the first mom that’s felt intimidated by parties for the 12 and up crowd, and it might help someone. Plus, I may need to encourage myself sometime by reading this!

Here goes…

I made these foam balls more than ten years ago and we’re still using them. They were a ton of work but obviously worth every minute. I have a big box of them and while we waited for guests to arrive I put them out on the lawn and let the boys play with them. I had a game planned with them, but usually find that every group of kids can come up with their own game using these balls in less than two minutes. Today was no exception.

When the arrival of friends began to slow down, I passed out handfuls of bubble gum. While they softened up their gum for a bubble blowing contest I set up a game. After one boy won the bubble blowing contest we played what became an instant favorite during the summer: Snatch the Rat.

I bought this ugly plastic rat that squeaks when you squeeze it. The idea for this game came from my friend who uses a rubber chicken when they play it. To play, divide the group into two equal teams. Then go through each team, giving each team member a number, starting at one. If you have uneven players on each team, choose someone energetic to be two numbers so you have a player on each team that has been assigned each number. I lined up each team on opposite sides of my lawn, placing cones to help them stay behind the line. Here they are all ready to go:

The rat was placed on the ground midway between the two teams. To play, you call out one of the numbers you just assigned to the players. You should have a one on both teams, a two on both teams, and so forth. When you call their number, the player from each team races to the middle. The objective is to grab the rat and carry it safely back to your team without being tagged by the other player.

If you carry the rat back without being tagged your team gets a point. If you get tagged, the rat goes back to the middle and the players return to their teams with no points awarded. It’s so fun to catch them off guard, like when you call “four” twice in a row. We call the numbers randomly to keep them on their toes. This game is so much fun – it’s as much strategy as it is strength and speed. We always laugh so hard when we play it as each pair of players begin to try tricking their opponents so they can get away with the rat. I will also say that this game often becomes a contact sport as the kids really get into it.

After Snatch the Rat, we played a few relay races. It’s always fun to see people with spoons sticking out of their mouths while they try to do things.

Another race we ran was the Three Musketeer Race. Three players stand with their backs together in a triangle and they all link arms at the elbows. Then they have to figure out how to run like this. When you say “Go” they have to yell “All for one and one for all!” as they start the race.

I did try to pair the boys according to size on this one so we would avoid injury. It was so funny to watch them run. This picture is blurry but you can see the smiles.

We also had a tug of war. A couple of them. I’d like to say here that I think it’s ok to play games where everyone doesn’t “win.” Boys like contests. They know what they’re good at and what they’re not good at. Someone wins and they move on. My opinion is that if each contest lasts no more than ten minutes, and if you switch the teams up for each new game, the boys do just fine. We just kept moving at a fast clip and they had a great time!

After the tug-of-war we went inside for some snacks: caramel popcorn, chips and salsa and some drinks. More games followed in the basement, where my camera battery died.

We hung donuts from a stick and had a donut eating contest. I had three more games nearby but the boys wanted to play ping pong and air hockey. They played doubles in both games and also used the double shot. It was so much fun to see them all gathered around the air hockey table yelling and laughing together.

Some of these boys have gone to school together since kindergarten. Here they are, in 6th grade, still friends and growing up so fast!

What mattered most to me was the happy grin on my boy’s face all day. He loved every minute of it, throwing himself completely into every game and enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by friends. I felt like the day was a success simply because he was happy.

A few things that went well: It’s nice to have more games planned than you actually need. Watching my six year old’s slack-jawed look of total admiration told me we’ll be using many of them again. Also, one of my personal challenges with parties is the additional dimension of seven brothers and sisters hovering, wanting to watch or even hoping to be part of the fun. This can bring behavior challenges for me and a frustrated birthday boy/girl if they feel like they’re being smothered. I feel like we found a nice balance today. I gave lots of assignments to the other children so they were a part of it, had a reason to observe, but were busy enough with their job to let their brother feel like it really was his party. I was also supremely grateful when my three year old, who wouldn’t sleep until 11:30 p.m. last night and was up at 6:30 a.m. fell asleep just before the party. Her timely nap literally saved the day.

And so the day now draws to a close as our fine young man looks forward to his grandparents coming this weekend for exciting events in his life. I’m so proud of him and am being reminded daily that he’s growing quickly. He had a happy day and my heart is thrilled.

So now I’ll go sweep up the popcorn and get that wad of gum out of my carpet! Small price to pay. What a blessing it is to have children.

Hopeful Homemaker