Hopeful Homemaker

Joy, week 19 — Mother’s Day Edition

May 13, 2012 jennifer JOY in 2012

Happy Mother’s Day!

I just finished reading a letter one of my daughters wrote me for Mother’s day, and I laughed so hard I had to wipe tears from my face as I finished. I laughed for joy because what she wrote was so sweet, and also because some of it was so funny. There’s nothing like reading a letter from one of your children that is unedited and which is just oozing with personality. It’s been a great day, full of all kinds of life. My youngest two were highly emotional today, the kids were nice as often as they argued with each other. My sweet husband worked hard all day to make things go smoothly. We ended up having guests for dinner tonight, and it was fun to watch my oldest daughter step up as Dad’s main assistant in the kitchen and help get all the food prepared. It was fun to have the LDS missionaries here to eat with us, fun to watch the children work together, fun to be a family.

I feel like I experienced much of the spectrum of motherhood this week. I made mistakes, raised my voice, felt discouraged and frustrated. I also laughed, praised and felt full of love. I forgot a couple of things, but I was there for my youngest boy’s Kindergarten program, there to see the smile on his face and to watch him perform. The week wasn’t pretty but it certainly worked out and I learned great things from it.

Yesterday we worked hard to clean the house and do more laundry. It feels good tonight to be going to bed in a house that looks more like the one I love. I haven’t had enough sleep and there is still much to do, but I feel more calm and happy today, more like I can handle what’s ahead. Now, I might not feel that way tomorrow, but for tonight I feel up to the task.

There are so many women I love and admire whose faces have been in my mind throughout the week, women who have blessed my life tremendously. I wish I’d been able to send them all a little token of my love. I wanted to, planned to, and then life happened. Early in the week I stood in line at a store, and the lady next to me in line picked up a nearby book full of gourmet homemade popsicle recipes. It looked cute and tasty so I asked her what she thought. She was honest, saying that it looked great, but wondered when she would ever find the time to actually make gourmet popsicles. I agreed, saying, “There’s so much life going on at my house that I probably wouldn’t get to it until there’s no one around to eat them.” We laughed and she said, “And isn’t that a wonderful thing, to have a home so full of life?” True, true.

So today I’m grateful that my life and home is so full of life that almost everything else seems neglected. I am so grateful to be a mother. I am so grateful for the example of my own mother who has always chosen to put people first. I am grateful for the life that is mine. It’s a wonderful one.

Have a great week!

Jennifer

When I Grow Up…

May 12, 2012 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

I walked around the corner last week to find my youngest on the floor, trying to “tape” herself and put her sister’s soccer socks on. She kept at it until she’d pulled them up her legs and had her feet in big sister’s cleats. Then she found an old jersey and donned it as a soccer “dress” of sorts. Her big sisters got a kick out of the display and tied the shirt so she wouldn’t trip, then put her hair in a pony tail.

Then she was outside for the game, talking nonstop about what she was doing and pausing occasionally to ask questions like “Is that cool?” We laughed and shook our heads as she carried on. Really, it still surprises me sometimes that she is my 8th and yet is so totally different from all the others, a brand all her own. In some ways I feel like my experience really helps with her and in others I’m at a total loss. She is so unique.

She wants so badly to be big, to be doing all the things the big kids do. {She’s pretty good at painting her own fingernails already, as she can find nail polish hidden anywhere. Scary!} She wants to be like them, and she thought that putting on all the stuff would make her big and fast and strong like they are.

I sat there, laughing and loving her and then it hit me that in some ways I’m just like her. I’m trying so hard to do things, but still have much to learn and much growing to do before I’ll be the girl I mean to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m all outfitted like a mom, but still fumble and trip as I try to actually do it.

She wants to grow up and play soccer, go to school, make cupcakes, be a Mom.

I want to grow up too, and be the Mom I intended to be, the Mom my kids deserve, the Mom that God gave me the potential to be. Like her, I have yet to grow into the shoes I want to fill, but with faith and prayer and time it just might happen.

Aren’t I lucky I have them to help me do it?

Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow to all of you who love and care for children in any way. May we all spend the day feeling grateful for noble and inspiring women who push us to be better, and may we place emphasis on those things in our lives which are of lasting value and importance.

Jennifer

Potential

May 11, 2012 jennifer Gardening

I haven’t had time to weed my flowerbeds much lately, or even to walk around the yard and see how things are looking until yesterday. I saw a few things that made me very happy.

First, things appear to be coming back well. Some of the lavender is a little slow, but I think it’s all going to make it. I’m pleased with how full my front flowerbed is looking. It will get better when the peonies are mature in a few years. I planted some dahlias in there again and am hoping they take.

The allium is new this year and I’m liking them a lot. They’ve attracted lots of bees and are so pretty standing on their long, straight stems.

The tulips are about finished. I really ought to go cut them all down, but in a few spots the show is still impressive so I’m leaving them a bit longer. I am SO pleased with the variety of tulips I added to my yard last fall. Without a doubt we have enjoyed some stunning flowers. I’m sorry to see them go but happy I’ll greet them again next year.

Coming soon: peonies. It’s true that anticipation adds to happiness, for the anticipation I feel when I see these perfectly round buds which will soon burst forth into something remarkable is a great feeling. I have six peonies that will bloom wonderfully this year, and more roots that I planted this spring. It will take time for them to bloom but I’ll wait. It will be worth it!

It was the trees that made me particularly happy as I did the rounds. My pear trees appear to be doing well, with what I think are signs of fruit yet to develop. (I hope – I’ve never grown pears before.)

Looks like we’ll get some cherries as well. Hooray!

And for the first time, I see a few itty bitty fuzzy things on one of the peach trees. Could it be….?

It’s funny how I can see this potential and feel so satisfied. I have a part in it, but really the plants are doing the work. I feel, for lack of a better word, proud of them. I don’t feel critical that there isn’t more. I feel so pleased with the growth I see.

I also see areas that need weeding, gardens that need planting, vines that need training, etc. but then I look at this group enjoying otter pops on the back porch and remember that THEY are my most important garden. THEIR growth is the most important growth going on around here. I remind myself to be more joyful about even tiny signs of growth, especially when I was hoping for much more. I remind myself to be more matter-of-fact about the “weeding” that needs to be done behaviorally instead of going about it with fear or frustration. They are my greatest investment and have the greatest potential of all. They bring the greatest joy and beauty to my life. I’m so grateful for them, and grateful for the reminder I received from my plants and trees. Life is about people, and it’s wonderful!

Jennifer