Still



I thought I’d share a pretty view in my living room.  I’m loving the freedom to cut fresh peonies from my yard whenever I’m in the mood.

This shot implies a sense of stillness and beauty, something we really don’t have going on here.  It belies the craziness we’re living.  But that stillness is what I’m craving.  I wish I had time to sit there for a while and listen to the wonderfully cool breeze as it blows through a nearby window.  I remind myself that I DID get a moment of stillness, for I paused to take a picture of  it.

In a little while my six year old has a kindergarten field trip to go on.  I’m planning to join him with my two little girls, as it is to a local animal farm of sorts.  They’ll all love it, and I’ve always gone in the past, but I’m having a bit of an inner battle over it this year.

That migraine I had was actually a double-whammy.  It was a migraine plus an abscessed tooth, requiring an emergency root canal on Monday and resulting in a very sore jaw and a much needed prescription for antibiotics.  I’m happy to be on this end of the pain, but wish I was feeling a little more jaunty than I am.

I’m soooo behind.  The laundry is piling up everywhere.  I’m not sure what we’re eating for dinner tonight.  My ongoing stomach ache is due to one of four sources:  the antibiotic, the pain medication, not being able to eat much for several days, or stress over all the projects that need to be completed by my students in the next two days.  And those next two days also hold things like soccer tryouts, team dinners and piano recitals, to name a few.  It’s so tough when the homework time doesn’t hit until 8 or 9 p.m.  Probably it’s all four that are making me sick.

I’m not complaining.  This is life, and I know I’m privileged to live it.   It’s just that sometimes life isn’t what we plan for.  Strange how that works, isn’t it?

So my inner debate all morning has been whether I throw the towel in for another day and head on the field trip, or skip the field trip and try to recover some part of the house, some part of the life I’m supposed to be maintaining.  I look around and think I can’t possibly afford another day of neglect, and then I look at my kids and think I can’t possibly miss this.  Next year he’ll be in first grade!  It will be my first year with only two children home all day.  I look at those girls and want to cry…. how can I possibly be headed out of this stage so soon?  Yes, I’ve enjoyed it much longer than many moms, but still, how does it happen so quickly?

The debate is settled.  We’re going on the field trip.  The messes will still be here when I get home and I’ll deal with them then.

Better go get ready!

HH

Sunshine Indoors



I’ve made some changes in the dining room and our whole family is loving the new look.  I have some painting to do and then I’ll share, but I couldn’t resist sharing the daffodils.


Last fall was my first foray into the world of daffodils and these are the first to come up.  Ice King is their name.  I’m loving the ruffled center of the bloom.


We’ve had a bit of snow this weekend and I’m so glad I rescued them before they froze!  They’re looking happy on my table, faces turned toward the window.

My first fresh flowers of the year, picked from our yard.  Happy day!

The Way of Tulips



My husband gave me tulips for Valentines Day.  I love tulips, love them so much.


There is something about the way tulips bend and reach that speaks to my heart.  They lean on each other, they reach out and around to bend toward the light.  Sometimes they bow in the middle yet the flower so often lifts its head.  I love how gracefully they do this.  They are graceful yet strong.  They communicate movement, change and pose all at the same time.  I love it.

I don’t feel like I’ve been very graceful lately.  I’ve been overwhelmed by some of the challenges of motherhood, worried sick about some of my children, tired, anxious.  I want to follow the example of my tulips.  It’s ok to bend and to lean, but it’s best to still lift your head to the light.  So what if I have some things I’m not happy about?  That’s all the more reason to seek happiness, to lift my head, to calm my heart and find peace in doing my best, in doing what is most important.  All the more reason to put a smile on my face and a bounce in my step, to find delight in little things.


As I’ve watched these flowers for the past week, I’ve been reminded of my favorite Shaker hymn, “Simple Gifts.”

Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,

To bow and to bend we shan’t be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come ’round right.
I guess one of life’s great lessons is coming down happily where we ought to be, even though it isn’t where we thought we’d be, bowing and bending with grace and not shame, trusting that we’ll come ’round right in the valley of love and delight in the end.  And trusting God even when the turning feels more like spinning.
Jennifer
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