Last letter pillow

My mom’s birthday was last month.  It seems as we get older that the perfect gift is something we really cannot grant.  We wish we could give something large enough to erase a burden or fix a worry and all the little things we buy just don’t seem sufficient.  My mom is also in a stage where she’s working enough that there is little time left for other things, so much of what I see when I shop for her just seems like another empty “thing” that doesn’t really mean much.

This year I really wanted to do something special.  I knew it would have to be small, but I wanted so much to offer a gift from the heart.  And then it arrived, about six weeks after her death, a note from my Grandmother (my mother’s mother) to my son, who is the oldest great-grandson on that side.  It was a birthday note, very sweet in it’s own right, but much sweeter because it came after she was gone.  Even my big strong teenager son had the sense to be touched by it all, and he tucked it away for safe keeping, perhaps the first time he’s done that in his life.

My mom misses her parents so much.  Her Dad died last summer, and her mom passed away on July 5th of this year.  I can see the missing on her face when anyone speaks of them.

Slowly an idea formed.  The last line of the note was so touching, and it was  a great sentence to remember my Grandmother by.  I went to the copy center, enlarged it and prepared to embroider the words in her handwriting.  I wanted to make a pillow, but not a cutesy pillow.  I wanted one that looks classy, which is totally my mom’s style, and one that would look at home in her house.  I also wanted something that would work in whatever room she might choose to put it.    Finally I settled on a piece of wide striped fabric and went to work.

Here it is:


I feel so good about it!  Just the quote, on two of the stripes, placed in the upper left hand corner of the pillow.  No coordinating fabrics, no borders, nothing else.  Simple and straightforward.


I placed the embroidery where it would be easily seen and read by someone standing nearby.  I tried to highlight the “Love Forever Grandma Nina” because it was most likely the last thing she ever wrote, and I know that she really does love all of us forever, especially her daughters.  I loved the way, even at the last, some of her handwriting was still hers.  The “love” is exactly how she always wrote it, and the “N” in Nina is her N.  My embroidery isn’t a perfect rendering, but I hope it comes close enough.  I wanted my Mom to have all of that in some simple, everyday way.  And I do hope that all of us will only do things we can be proud of.


I was able to give my Mom her gift in person, along with a couple of pillow covers I made to update the colors on her family room couch.  It felt so good to give her a hug and to watch her open it, then slowly register what it was.  I love my parents so much.  They’re at a stage in life when it seems they should have much less to worry about, and yet it’s still there, the stress of life and concern for those they love most.  I really hope this gift can be one small bright spot in some cloudy trials.  And it felt so good to me to give this gift!

Happy (late) Birthday, Mom!  And Grandma, we miss you so much!

Jennifer

It’s someone’s birthday!



Our family is scattered for the day (some of us for a few days) so we had a mini-celebration early this morning, complete with donuts.


She opened a few gifts, including a new bike helmet, to which her comment was “I wanted a new BIKE, not a helmet!”


Thank goodness there was a surprise waiting on the front porch!






I love this girl so much!  We’re going to try to make it a super-fun day.
Happy birthday, sweetie!

Mom

The Good Enough Party



Last week I shared photos of my girls prepping for a last-minute birthday party for a friend.  The joy we all found in scurrying around to prepare was increased when our friends arrived.  It was a perfect evening.


And yet, very little about it was technically perfect.  I didn’t have any paper cups or plastic forks.  I went through several recipes before I found one I had all the ingredients for.  The house was barely tidy.  What was perfect about the evening was our willingness to do our best before the party and when the party started, we all wholeheartedly gave ourselves to enjoying it.


I remembered this post and realized that I’ve learned a lot in the past 18 months.  Many lessons have been imposed upon me by the realities of caring for eight children, but I’m so thankful I’ve learned to relax and enjoy my guests, refrain from apologizing, smile and visit and focus on making people feel good about themselves.


Gratefully, my lavender shortbread cookies and this citrus lemon cake with lavender frosting carried the day in addition to the chocolate cupcakes and cake our guests brought with them.  Everything looked and tasted delicious.


The very best part of it was our family’s common goal of making my friend’s birthday special.  It wouldn’t have been a common goal if I’d been more worried about how things looked than I was about involving my family in preparation.  Because I let them do the decorating, they were able to serve and to anticipate joy as much as I was.  Sharing the creative process without specific expectations or judgment allowed my children to claim my goal as theirs.  This goal was a blessing to her children as well, who felt good about being part of something special for their mom’s birthday.  We had two families who were content to relax, laugh, talk, give praise, and enjoy being together.  Ten minutes before our friends arrived I had a list of 15 things in my mind that I wished I could still pull off, but when we said good-bye I couldn’t remember any of them.   I felt so full and happy I wouldn’t have changed a thing.  We had done enough to let them know they’re important to us, and then we spent time enjoying their friendship.


I don’t mean to go on and on about it.  It really was a very simple gathering.  I guess I think that too often we get big grand pictures in our heads about what a party looks like.  The parties we see in magazines and on pinterest aren’t the kind of party that usually happen at my house.  Those pictures are inspiring in their beauty and it’s fun to glean ideas from them, but they can distract us from the real purpose of a party.  I always try to do at least one special thing to make it look nice (like the mini cake on a piece of china sitting atop a cake stand in the first picture), but I never manage to get everything perfect.  I don’t think we have to.  I think we need to be open, real, relaxed and more concerned about enjoying our guests than we are about what they think of our event.


If you’ve got someone you’ve been meaning to invite over but haven’t yet because you can’t seem to get everything to work out for a Perfect Party, try a Good Enough Party.  Be yourself, make your signature dessert, work as hard as you can for a little while and then take a deep breath and  smile.  Your Good Enough Party just might become a Perfect Party.  Ours did.


Our evening ended with the girls getting wagon rides from my husband while the older children spread streamers all over each other and my yard.  While they played my friend and I talked about real life as we took down streamers together.


And then the birthday girl got a little surprise from her son.


Like I said, a Good Enough, Perfect Party.

Hopeful Homemaker

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