Full of Gratitude: My Birthday Heart


birthdaybook

It’s been one of those weeks that is so full you hardly know what to say about it and yet something must be said before the march of days swallows it all.  It’s been a week of thoughtfulness in many directions, of joy and mercy and abundance of the best kind.  Forgive me if the sifting results in a lengthy post!

I received an unexpected visit from a dear friend on Monday night.  She came bearing a yummy treat and a beautifully wrapped gift which she insisted I open in spite of my birthday being the following day.  I was completely stunned to open the gift and find inside it the book you see pictured above filled with letters to me from friends and family near and far.  She, with lots of help from my husband, had secretly worked for weeks with the goal of collecting forty letters from forty friends to mark my 40th birthday.  They got more than seventy.

I sat up late into the night reading letter after letter, more humbled with each one by the generosity of my friends and family.  The kindness of their words lifted my heart in a way nothing else could.  It is true that our Heavenly Father knows our needs far better than we do, and when he meets an unknown need so completely through the work of someone we know the gift is overwhelmingly sweet.  Such was the impact of these letters.    Some of them came from people I lost touch with years ago, and many came from friends I dearly love but whose friendships I’ve neglected in the past few years while trying to find my stride as a mother of eight children.  Some came from people whose friendships are newer and carried a warmth I had not thought yet formed.  Some made me laugh out loud and many sent silent tears down my cheeks.  There was a note from one brother that touched me deeply and countless compliments from people I admire so greatly that I felt I should be the one writing such things about them .  Throughout all of them came the whisper “you are loved, you are accepted, you are good.”  Perhaps the whisper was the best part of all, the golden thread that wove through every word and wrapped it all up with a big bow and left me with the distinct feeling that I’d been given back my friends.  Not that they weren’t there before, but that I’d assumed I was disqualified for a dozen reasons.  It felt like Heavenly Father put it in my lap and said, “I know it’s been long and hard, but here you go.  It’s time to run with this again.”  Which is exactly what I hope to do.

I was surprised by themes that emerged in the letters, by how many times certain qualities were mentioned.  Surprised that I was worth the pause in their too-busy lives to contribute to the project.  Surprised.  Grateful.  Healed.

When at last I put the book down, having read every word, I was also filled.  Filled with determination to arise and be the person they seem to think I am capable of being.  Filled with longing to aim higher and farther.  Filled with wonder at the mercy and generosity of these people I know, who had obviously sifted through much and chose to focus on the best in me.  I want to be like them.  I thought again of my friend Kathy who passed away this summer, of her happiness on her special day last year.  I remembered the smile on her face and realized I was tasting what she felt that windy afternoon.   I am filled with a desire to be more, to do more, to give more, to find whatever energy and strength of will it takes to follow every impulse to do good, to lift, to contribute, to build.  I don’t ever want to miss an opportunity to be a part of strengthening someone as I was strengthened this week.

All the other trappings and trimmings were icing on the cake:  a special birthday breakfast, phone calls, pretty packages, cake, dinner with my husband, balloons, an evening rainstorm.  Then Thursday night I was off for a couple of days for a girls weekend with most of the women in my family and it was awesome in every way.  I’ve learned so much this week, about myself and others, about goodness and kindness, life and dreams.   And we are happy when we are learning, so I feel rich in joy.

So my heart sings out “thank you” in a thousand directions while tonight I sit in a pile with my children who I’ve missed as much as I enjoyed the break.  I look around me at the smiles on faces so very dear and marvel once more that although I am certainly one of the least of God’s daughters, still He chooses to work in my life.  THAT is the gift of a lifetime.

Jennifer

Thirty things in thirty days

Well, today is the day.  I’m officially done with my thirties and the number forty and I are getting acquainted.   It’s time to report on my 30 in 30 list, so here it is, in no particular order:

1.  Do a liquid cleansing diet for 10 days.  Done!
2.  Give away a quilt top for charity.  I added a border, pieced a backing and gave my postage stamp quilt top to a group of ladies in my neighborhood who meet weekly to make quilts for humanitarian causes.  Doing this was one of my favorite things on my list.

postagestampquilt2

3.  Plan a half birthday party for my daughter.  Done.  Lots of work to do, but we’ve got the date, time, guest list, and details all planned out.  Now I need to get moving!
4.  Enter a contest.  Done.
5.  Re-organize my dining room cabinet.  I had a prompting at the beginning of summer to begin doing a specific thing with my older children each morning and I wanted a designated place for it.  Done.  I especially like this shelf:

diningroomshelf

6.  Do something with my gold frame.  I bought it months ago and it’s been sitting.  I intended to put a specific piece of my 1st grader’s artwork in it but cannot find it anywhere!  (Grrr.)  Until I track it down, I printed a quote I like and it will do.

goldframe

7.  Lay on my lawn in the evening and look at the stars.  Done.
8.  Make a delicious homemade white chicken garlic pizza.  Done.
9.  Clean out the closet in my guest room.  Done. (although my regular guests won’t notice much difference.  I have a big project to finish and then it will be a drastic improvement) 10.  Deliver a birthday gift ON TIME!  Done.  Four times, even!
11.  Mail thank you notes to extended family for a great family reunion and do it PROMPTLY,  with the signatures of all 10 family members.  Done.
12.  Transfer blog to BlogLovin.  Done.
13.  Make a lavender cake.  Done.  Pictures here .  I’ve also tried two other recipes and am hoping to have a favorite one soon.
14.  Put the kids to bed, sit down with my feet up, and read a magazine cover to cover in a quiet room.  Done.
15.  Decorate for the 4th of July.  Done.

july4decor2

16.  Make a “4” sign for the 4th of July.  Not sure how much I love it, but I did it.

july4sign

17.  Experiment with an olive oil rosemary bread recipe.  Done.  Needs more work.
18.  Write a letter to a distant friend.  Done.
19.  Hang pictures and get my family room wall looking like I want it to.  Done.  (see 4th of July photo above; I hung two of my favorite photos from our trip to the beach in April) 20.  Stitch some door holders for the house.  Done.  Pictures will come in a separate post ASAP.
21.  Make a binder of all my handouts for my Sunbeam class.  Done.
22.  Fix my family room clock.  Done.
23.  Pick up a pencil and draw a little!  Specifically, I had an idea for a subway art sign I wanted to make to remind us all of the drops of awesome principle .  I loved drawing as a child and through high school, but have rarely done it for many years.  This is a talent I’d like to tap in the next 10 years.  I haven’t added color yet, but here’s the black and white version of what I drew (and yes, I know it hardly counts as drawing, but is mostly hand-lettering, which is another interest of mine):

dropsofawesomedoodle

24.  Finish a quilt.  Done.  Pictures coming in a second post.
25.  Make a ship quilt block.  Done.  Decisions to make.
26.  Organize the hallway closet off entry.  This is now more of a home management resource area and includes what I’m calling my happy shelf.  Done!

closetshelf

27.  Make a batch of frozen yogurt .  Done.  (We made raspberry with blueberries, blackberries and raspberries in it.  Yum!)
28.  Make lavender lemonade .  Done.  Love that stuff!
29.  Read The Tempest by Shakespeare.  I did it and loved it.  I also went to the library and found a book to use and also read the Cliff notes on it so I could be sure to appreciate and understand it well.  This ended up being another of my favorite items on the list and I plan to keep reading.

shakespeare

30.  Finish embroidering Lincoln’s signature.  Done.

Shared here
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31.  Request a new copy of my patriarchal blessing, which I somehow lost and have been aching to read.  Done.
32.  Brainstorm a special thing I can do for my 3rd daughter to meet some needs in her life.  The perfect idea came and the plan is being developed.

A few things I also worked on but didn’t finish:

1.  Read McCullough’s book, The Greater Journey.  I hadn’t finished it, so I started it over and am now past where I quit reading, but far from finishing.  I love his writing!
2.  Design an anchor quilt block.  I did this and made a test block.  Now I need to make another to check my instructions, notes and measurements.  I really hope to find time to work on this soon.
3.  Clean out basement storage room.  Oh, this needs more time!
4.  Add new artwork to kids gallery wall in family room.  I got a few of them framed, but not hung.
5.  Get the kids’ summer cleaning routine running smoothly.  Not there yet, and the summer is half over.  Some of them still fight me every morning but it’s worth the effort.
6.  Work with my daughter and her friend on finishing their quilts .  We got the backings pieced; next comes basting and quilting!

A few things I hoped to make time for but didn’t:

1.  Paint my oldest daughter’s bedroom 2.  Finish a family tree project 3.  Finishing touches on paint in youngest girls’ room 4.  Organize linen closets 5.  Finish mirror for dining room.
6.  Start seashell mirror project.
7.  Letterpress a paper project.

Summary:

As you can see, I have a talent for never-ending lists!  Once the ideas began flowing, I simply kept writing.  While there are a few things that I can’t believe I didn’t just finish (like hanging artwork), I’m happy to say that I met my goal.  Everything on the list was either something I simply hadn’t managed to finish, an idea I was anxious to bring to life, or something I rarely slow down and do.  Finishing each one brought a smile to my face and reminded me that happiness is to be had each day if I choose it.   I’m also glad to have fewer unfinished things weighing on my life.  Doing one a day helped keep me from stewing over a birthday I was dreading and gave me something purposeful to do instead. An interesting thing has happened over the past few weeks.  I’ve sorted through the reasons for my dread, learned some things about myself and about life in the process, and come out on the other side with an entirely different perspective than the one I started with.  I’ll share more of this soon as well.

Forty.  I’m hoping we get along nicely.

Jennifer

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