This morning my children did NOT look like this:
I sure wish they had. My day so far would have been different if they had. Instead, my two and three year olds woke up with their boxing gloves on. Big time.
It started innocently enough, with this little conversation:
boy: “I woke up at seven.”
girl: “Oh yeah! I oke up at sits (six).”
The girl then wags her little hips and says “Mm Mmmmm!” in a nice in-your-face way that is actually cute but only because she’s so little, and you can’t even crack a smile because it most definitely won’t be cute when she’s older.
Remember, neither of them have any concept of time. They had no clue what they were talking about, only that they were trying to 0ne-up each other. We went downhill from there, and after a little while I realized that my best option was to just do my best to stay between them. While feeding the baby, cleaning up breakfast, etc.
Let me interject here that my usual routine is to get up and get ready for the day before I wake my kids up for school. Due to lack of sleep, however, my second choice is to get the kids off for school and then shower right after they leave. I usually have a tiny window of time between the good-byes and the waking up of my three littlest, so I’ve traded some productivity for the chance to sleep longer and try to catch up on my rest. Well, this morning that tiny window never presented itself and it was plain to see that I couldn’t risk leaving the two toddlers alone even for 5 minutes because of their bickering. SO, I figured I’ll just shower during naptime.
Except for the fact that I had to run some food to a funeral this morning. Now, I can count on ONE HAND the number of days I’ve gone in public without a shower since #8 was born. I can think of only 3, including today. I’ve still got weight to lose and so forth, but I do try to take care of myself and look good every day. I really didn’t think that I was risking too much if I just ran in the back door to the kitchen at the church, dropped off my food, and took off. So I put on a sweatshirt, brushed my hair into a ponytail, and donned my favorite hat. Off we went.
Here’s where it gets embarrassing.
I walked through the back door into the kitchen at the church, and guess who was standing there?
Julie Beck , General President of the Relief Society organization for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints . Yep. It was her, all right. Looking tall, thin, and VERY classy. She was there to attend the funeral. She’d just popped into the kitchen to check on the ladies who would be serving everybody lunch after the funeral, because that’s just one of the things that Relief Society sisters do (and in my ward, its something we seem to do almost monthly).
I had to laugh at the irony of it all. Attending to my first responsibility as a mother this morning made me look like a total loser in front of someone I really admire. Oh well. Naturally it had to happen on the ONLY occasion I’ve ever stepped into a church looking like this.
I drove away laughing at my luck. Then I remembered that I’d agreed to take my son’s library book to his classroom when I picked up my kindergartener. With a deep breath, I headed into the school, prepared to face the two lovely ladies who work at the front desk who always look great and who have like 2 kids each and who probably already think I’m a complete crazy woman. (Yes, that was a run on sentence. I intended it to be one.) Well, not only were they in the office, but every other mom I know happened to be there, too! Looking fabulous, of course. They were re-decorating the front office for a new month, in their fashionable ruffles and cute skirts and so forth. You know how cute they looked. And here I am, the crazy woman with 8 kids, in her sweats and a hat, with a Calvin & Hobbes book in hand.
So I took a deep breath, told them all my story about meeting Julie Beck in the kitchen, congratulated them all on looking fabulous and perfectly ready to meet Julie Beck with no warning, wished them a great day, took the book to my son, and left.
Then I came home, broke up another fight between my little boxers, and wrote this.
Warning to you all: never go anywhere without a shower and makeup.
Hoping for a shower…..
Jennifer
