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Thirty things in thirty days

July 16, 2013 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty, Simple. Quality.

Well, today is the day. I’m officially done with my thirties and the number forty and I are getting acquainted. It’s time to report on my 30 in 30 list, so here it is, in no particular order:

1. Do a liquid cleansing diet for 10 days. Done!
2. Give away a quilt top for charity. I added a border, pieced a backing and gave my postage stamp quilt top to a group of ladies in my neighborhood who meet weekly to make quilts for humanitarian causes. Doing this was one of my favorite things on my list.

3. Plan a half birthday party for my daughter. Done. Lots of work to do, but we’ve got the date, time, guest list, and details all planned out. Now I need to get moving!
4. Enter a contest. Done.
5. Re-organize my dining room cabinet. I had a prompting at the beginning of summer to begin doing a specific thing with my older children each morning and I wanted a designated place for it. Done. I especially like this shelf:

6. Do something with my gold frame. I bought it months ago and it’s been sitting. I intended to put a specific piece of my 1st grader’s artwork in it but cannot find it anywhere! (Grrr.) Until I track it down, I printed a quote I like and it will do.

7. Lay on my lawn in the evening and look at the stars. Done.
8. Make a delicious homemade white chicken garlic pizza. Done.
9. Clean out the closet in my guest room. Done. (although my regular guests won’t notice much difference. I have a big project to finish and then it will be a drastic improvement) 10. Deliver a birthday gift ON TIME! Done. Four times, even!
11. Mail thank you notes to extended family for a great family reunion and do it PROMPTLY, with the signatures of all 10 family members. Done.
12. Transfer blog to BlogLovin. Done.
13. Make a lavender cake. Done. Pictures here . I’ve also tried two other recipes and am hoping to have a favorite one soon.
14. Put the kids to bed, sit down with my feet up, and read a magazine cover to cover in a quiet room. Done.
15. Decorate for the 4th of July. Done.

16. Make a “4” sign for the 4th of July. Not sure how much I love it, but I did it.

17. Experiment with an olive oil rosemary bread recipe. Done. Needs more work.
18. Write a letter to a distant friend. Done.
19. Hang pictures and get my family room wall looking like I want it to. Done. (see 4th of July photo above; I hung two of my favorite photos from our trip to the beach in April) 20. Stitch some door holders for the house. Done. Pictures will come in a separate post ASAP.
21. Make a binder of all my handouts for my Sunbeam class. Done.
22. Fix my family room clock. Done.
23. Pick up a pencil and draw a little! Specifically, I had an idea for a subway art sign I wanted to make to remind us all of the drops of awesome principle . I loved drawing as a child and through high school, but have rarely done it for many years. This is a talent I’d like to tap in the next 10 years. I haven’t added color yet, but here’s the black and white version of what I drew (and yes, I know it hardly counts as drawing, but is mostly hand-lettering, which is another interest of mine):

24. Finish a quilt. Done. Pictures coming in a second post.
25. Make a ship quilt block. Done. Decisions to make.
26. Organize the hallway closet off entry. This is now more of a home management resource area and includes what I’m calling my happy shelf. Done!

27. Make a batch of frozen yogurt . Done. (We made raspberry with blueberries, blackberries and raspberries in it. Yum!)
28. Make lavender lemonade . Done. Love that stuff!
29. Read The Tempest by Shakespeare. I did it and loved it. I also went to the library and found a book to use and also read the Cliff notes on it so I could be sure to appreciate and understand it well. This ended up being another of my favorite items on the list and I plan to keep reading.

30. Finish embroidering Lincoln’s signature. Done.

Shared here .
31. Request a new copy of my patriarchal blessing, which I somehow lost and have been aching to read. Done.
32. Brainstorm a special thing I can do for my 3rd daughter to meet some needs in her life. The perfect idea came and the plan is being developed.

A few things I also worked on but didn’t finish:

1. Read McCullough’s book, The Greater Journey. I hadn’t finished it, so I started it over and am now past where I quit reading, but far from finishing. I love his writing!
2. Design an anchor quilt block. I did this and made a test block. Now I need to make another to check my instructions, notes and measurements. I really hope to find time to work on this soon.
3. Clean out basement storage room. Oh, this needs more time!
4. Add new artwork to kids gallery wall in family room. I got a few of them framed, but not hung.
5. Get the kids’ summer cleaning routine running smoothly. Not there yet, and the summer is half over. Some of them still fight me every morning but it’s worth the effort.
6. Work with my daughter and her friend on finishing their quilts . We got the backings pieced; next comes basting and quilting!

A few things I hoped to make time for but didn’t:

1. Paint my oldest daughter’s bedroom 2. Finish a family tree project 3. Finishing touches on paint in youngest girls’ room 4. Organize linen closets 5. Finish mirror for dining room.
6. Start seashell mirror project.
7. Letterpress a paper project.

Summary:

As you can see, I have a talent for never-ending lists! Once the ideas began flowing, I simply kept writing. While there are a few things that I can’t believe I didn’t just finish (like hanging artwork), I’m happy to say that I met my goal. Everything on the list was either something I simply hadn’t managed to finish, an idea I was anxious to bring to life, or something I rarely slow down and do. Finishing each one brought a smile to my face and reminded me that happiness is to be had each day if I choose it. I’m also glad to have fewer unfinished things weighing on my life. Doing one a day helped keep me from stewing over a birthday I was dreading and gave me something purposeful to do instead. An interesting thing has happened over the past few weeks. I’ve sorted through the reasons for my dread, learned some things about myself and about life in the process, and come out on the other side with an entirely different perspective than the one I started with. I’ll share more of this soon as well.

Forty. I’m hoping we get along nicely.

Jennifer

2 comments birthday, goals, life

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June 27, 2013 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty

We took a little trip to the mountains and came home to lavender ready to be cut. Last night I sat for a few minutes and watched a dozen or more honeybees working their way through the flowers and felt so very grateful for this simple thing.

What a lucky girl I am.

This summer seems to be marching along with a beat I’m unprepared for, and perhaps I feel that way because I’m marching my way to my 40th birthday next month. As in, the “next month” that begins in five days. And the marching is not the feeling of a parade, but rather something much less fun. To say I’m dreading it is an understatement.

Ten days ago I looked at my calendar and realized I had just 30 days left in my 30’s, so I made a quick list of 30 things to do before the dreaded day. I’m running a little behind my schedule of one/day, but I’m working on it and am excited to share a few of them here. Most of them consist of things I’ve been meaning to do but haven’t or things I enjoy but rarely do.

Meanwhile, it’s good to be home. Home where the lavender and the honeysuckle grow alongside the garden now full of weeds. Home where there’s work to be done and dreams to be dreamt. And a lawn to lay on at night while I watch the stars. I’ve done some of that this week, cause it’s on my list.

Home.

Raw

June 4, 2013 jennifer Musings on Life and Beauty, Uncategorized

It sums up my heart and life right now. That one word. Raw. And yet there are a thousand words that want to come spilling out, words I’ve buried over and over again, words I wish I could hear, words I wish I could say, words I’m proud of not saying, words I wish I hadn’t heard and hope to forget.

I planned for the school year to end like a race. You reach the finish line, pause, look around, enjoy the moment a little, then pack up and go home for a few days of quiet while the dust settles and you get back to normal. I planned it that way, but it certainly hasn’t happened that way. The past week has been more like a high speed collision of two worlds. Spinning, merging, clashing.

I’m feeling so many extremes lately, and recognize the Lord’s hand in both the adversity and the little drops of sunlight that keep me going even if they also threaten to break the dam of emotional vulnerability that has built up. There are so many ways in which we get feedback about our lives, and I suppose having 8 children naturally invites more of it. There are more people to be commented on, more mistakes to be made, more relationships to maintain. Little wonder, I suppose, and yet… I am just one person, one mother with one heart.

I have felt lonely and suffocated, forgotten and remembered, isolated and crowded, happy and sad, useless and serviceable, helpless and influential, bitter and grateful, empty and full, embraced and forsaken, calm and chaos. So many opposites bumping up against each other, sometimes within minutes as I run from one social circle to the next with different children. The sum of it all? I feel rubbed raw. Emotionally, mentally.

I don’t feel strong but must act it anyway because I have no choice but to be it; neither dare I show my weakness to those who feel obligated to remind me of my flaws and those of my children as if we ourselves are clueless about our imperfection. So you absorb more feedback and move on, tears stinging in your eyes as you blink hard and walk quickly away. They have no idea how hard I’m trying.

Tonight I was alone in my backyard for a few minutes. I wandered among my peonies, marvelling at the size of the flowers and beauty of the blooms. Their beauty brought the tears that life’s slaps couldn’t summon as I wondered honestly if I could carry on right now in a world without flowers. I realized that life’s much like gardens, usefulness and beauty growing up right next to the weeds and thorns. We don’t forsee the thistle that pokes out among the flowers any more than we forsee the challenges that often spring from the midst of our best efforts. If it is true that we need opposition to appreciate the good and the beautiful, then I’m thankful for such a colorful world right now. Much as I’ve disliked the stomach ache I’m living with, I would not want a world of gray.

A few lessons I’ve learned:

-How much people do or don’t advertise their problems has NOTHING to do with the number, size or severity of their problems. Just because they don’t talk about them with us doesn’t mean it’s our job to make sure they know they have them.
-The world has sped up and often feels out of control for many of us. Because of it, we’re carrying lingering feelings/struggles from one place to another because our lives are without margin. We’re all experiencing these extremes in our emotions and experiences. We have no idea when someone is about to snap, so it’s best to just assume that everyone is fragile and treat them gently.
-We will never be sorry for the times we withheld judgement, or on the other side, withheld a scathing reply. A compassionate or generous word isn’t something we regret.
-Focus on what’s going right. There’s an awful lot of it if we look around intent on finding it.
-Happiness really does come from within. And happy people have hard days.

I am so grateful for the generosity of the Lord in my life. Flowers, children, food to eat, a roof over our heads, a husband who lets me spill the pain of it all in his lap and still loves me, and best of all, a God whose hand firmly holds me at the edge of the cliff, letting me hurt and learn and discover but never sends me hurtling over the edge.

I lay in the grass and looked up at a deep blue sky as I thought about whose opinion really matters. Not strangers, not friends, not family, not community members who hardly know us. I care about these opinions, but in the end the one that matters is the Lord’s. It’s hard to hear his voice when we have so many others speaking loudly next to our ears, but I know it’s in there somewhere. Tomorrow my #1 job will be to tune the others out and tune in to what he’s saying. Maybe I’ll hear the whisper I’ve been craving: “I know you’re doing your best. You’re doing a good job. I will help you make your best better. I love you. You are good enough for me.” I know He can do it. He is, after all, the God who carpets our world with flowers.

Because of that realignment of voices and volumes, I remember that in the not-so-distant future this will all be a memory. Things will have settled in their proper places and life will have moved on. Hopefully we’ll be better people for it, and hopefully I’ll be a kinder person because of it. Everything will turn out and we can be certain that God will always give us opportunities to grow.

For that I am grateful.

P.S. My lavender is budding… happy sigh!

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