One Step Report #9

Well, here I am again with my weekly report.  To those who read my blog and are tired of these little lists of small things I’ve done each week, I apologize.  I confess that this week I’ve felt a bit tired of it too, as the little things have certainly not added up to solve any of the big things we’re facing, BUT I made a commitment to myself.  If I do nothing else this year, I will finish this.  It is my act of faith in God’s ability to make me equal to the task of raising my children at a time in my life when I feel so inadequate.  To anyone who wonders what on earth this list is for, you can read my explanation here .

This week:  88 steps.  I was surprised by this so I went back and read through them more closely than I sometimes do.  It interested me to note how many times I recorded the experience of having feelings of frustration or discouragement boil to the surface, filling my eyes with tears, then pausing to close my eyes and pray for strength to carry on.  I have mixed feelings about this pattern.  On one hand I feel happy that I’m learning to go directly from the feeling to the solution, to recognize that God is my strength, and to seek it instantly.  On the other hand, it’s a little disturbing to have a record of just how often those feelings rise to the surface.  Can I be getting worse and better at the same time?  I’m not sure I want to think too much about that one tonight.

A few highlights:

I managed an effective positive reinforcement campaign with the kindergarten carpool this week.  They’re putting on their seat belts and keeping them on much more cheerfully.

Mr. Wonderful’s aunt was in town this week.  She came over on Tuesday night for dinner (pizza).  She is single and has no children, and this was the first time she has EVER witnessed our family in real life mode.  She has only seen us in vacation mode.  Bless her heart!  The night she came over we had different children committed for activities at 4:00, 5:00, 6:00, 6:30, 6:45 and 7:00.  I’d love to be a fly on the wall and hear how she described it to someone from her perspective.  We did manage to snap a photo at one point in the evening with whoever was there at the moment.  Can you tell that some of them were a little wound up?


One of the activities going on during the above mentioned evening was taking my oldest daughter to New Beginnings, a special activity each year for young women ages 12-17 and their parents.  We were invited because my daughter is (gulp) turning 12 later this year and she was being presented.  Wow.  I’m pretty sure I’ll be ok with the transition because her birthday isn’t until November and she talks about it at least twice a day, but this activity caught me off guard.  It ended up being a wonderful night, and I was very grateful for the chance to attend.  Here we are together before leaving, and she’s still a little wound up.


This week I tried to enjoy my time spent in the kitchen.  I put more effort into our meals, and also into having the children help with the dishes.

I spent lots of time marveling at my littlest one.  She’s so mobile now, rolling and scooting and army crawling all over the place.  She’s experimenting with the hard floors, and ALMOST doing the full-on crawl.  One night in particular I kept her up later than the other children and the two of us snuggled and giggled and gave lots of kisses and smiles.  Truly magical.  I love her so much it hurts.


I did a little rearranging of things in my bedroom and I’m pleased with the results.

I started binding a quilt.  This one I’m doing by hand because it’s a scalloped edge (my first try) and I hope it turns out.

We tried hard to listen more carefully to our oldest and do lots of building so that the little requests for improvement will hopefully be taken better.  This whole world of communicating with teenagers is tricky, but we’re hoping to get good at it!

We spent lots of time talking with our children about some of their cousins and the things going on in their lives.  One little cousin had a surprise surgery this week, and another newborn cousin is still in NICU with some serious things to work out.  The lives of two other cousins will be decided by a judge in a custody ruling.  It is precious to hear your children pray for other children.

Last night my husband turned around and saw this hysterical commentary on the local collegiate rivalry.  Our 7 year old daughter had come up with it completely on her own.  I hope you can read it.  Let me know if you need any spelling translations.  I can’t stop laughing at her list of compliments and insults.


With that, I’ll wrap up this report and wish you a wonderful week.  May all your steps be good ones!
Hopeful Homemaker

My Dream Vacation

What’s your dream vacation?  The dreamiest thing you can imagine?


I’ll tell you mine.

The dreamiest thing I can imagine would be to send my entire family away on some vacation to have a fabulous time….

and to stay home ALONE.

Yep.  That’s what I want.

I watch my friends go on getaways, see women head off to retreats, and although they sound wonderful I really don’t want to go.  Why?  Because although it’s a nice break, I know that when I get back the hole will only be deeper.  Getting away isn’t solving my problem; it’s hiding it from myself.

I want one full week alone in my house.

I want to clean it, organize it, and then have it stay that way while I move on to other projects that I never get to because I’m forever preparing food, cleaning up food, washing clothes, putting away clothes, picking up clothes…. you get the picture.

I want to have my kitchen counters stay clean for more than 5 minutes.

I want to clean my basement.

I want to read a book without worrying that I’ll forget to pick someone up.

I want to go through pictures, school papers, memories, and be able to sort & organize them without helpers.

I want to purge my house without input from 8 children.

I want to sleep.

I want to gather myself, get things in order for the long term, and prepare for the road ahead.

I want quiet.

And on the hard days when I really let myself dream of what I’d do, I start to think, “Hmmm. One week might not be enough!  I might need two!”  And then I quickly remind myself that I’d better just shoot for one, or my husband might send the children back ALONE because he needed some space, too.  And I really like him and would most definitely want him to come back WITH them.  So I’m okay with one week.

Yes, crazy lady that I am, I want to be home alone.

The funny thing is that there is probably nothing that is less likely to happen in my life.  Not for years and years and years.

Still, I can dream…

March 4th


vintage paper flags

For me, March 4th is a mini-holiday of sorts.  It is, after all, mandate.  Have you ever thought about it?  Today is the day that the calendar says to us all:  March Forth!

And isn’t that what you feel like doing now that February is over and simply turning the calendar is proof that spring is on the way?  There is so much I want to do as the weather warms up!

I try to talk to my children on March 4th about the concept of marching forth in life to accomplish what we should be doing.  Sometimes it’s fun to turn on some marching music and let the little ones parade around the house waving flags.  Some years we’ve all set or re-dedicated ourselves to our goals.  Some years I’ve traced my children’s feet as a reminder that we need to be moving in positive directions.

For me personally it’s a wonderful day to pause and review what’s really important to me.  I always find myself doing this at the turn of a new year, at the beginning of summer vacation, and when school starts again in the fall.  Adding March 4th to the list of times when I re-focus my mind and heart has been beneficial.

So, even while the snow falls outside my windows this afternoon, I am pondering spring.  I am pondering how I need to adjust my days to set me on a straighter course to the life I really want.

In our modern world, the idea of marching is tied closely to parades and celebrations.  But historically, marching has meant armies moving great distances over rough terrain.  It has meant migration for different groups of people, and often migration not of their choosing.  While I’ve never been on such a march, I imagine that it gets really hard, especially in the middle.

Life is a march over long distances, through lots of mud and rain and sun and drought.  It is also a march that involves brilliant moments of illumination, breathtaking views, refreshing water and cool breezes.  It is up to me to seek the beauty, up to me to stay on course, up to me to just KEEP GOING.

One of my all-time greatest heroes, Gordon B. Hinckley, was asked once how he managed to get so much done, to preside over an international church with millions of members while in his 90’s.  His response was that every night when he went to bed, he made sure he got up the next morning.

Sometimes marching involves cresting a hill and marveling at the view below.  Other times it simply means that we endure, that we get out of bed again and do our very best, even when our best seems like nothing.

So today I say…

Keep Going Look Up Endure Press Forward Search Diligently MARCH FORTH!

If you need some inspiration, do a little research on Henry Knox and how he moved some 80 cannon through terrible circumstances to Boston at the beginning of the American Revolutionary War.

His assessment:  “Perseverance accomplished what at first seemed impossible.”
I call that a quote worth memorizing.

What will you march forth to do?

Jennifer

1 423 424 425 426 427 497