It’s Here.


daffodil

Spring.  And surprisingly, it arrived as scheduled, for I have a single flower blooming in my yard.

A week ago this same spot looked like this:

daffodilstart

And now that’s what my hyacinths look like:

hyacinth

The lilac bush is full of promise:

lilacwick

It’s that wonderful time of year when everything appears to be dripping with potential.  One day there’s nothing, and a day or two later there are flowers.  If you look away too long, you’ll miss it.

Which is exactly how my life feels right now.

I love this season so very much but  I’m struggling a bit with what it means on the inside of my house.  I was on top of the laundry a week ago, and now I’m terribly behind.  The term ends on Friday for all my students.  We’re scrambling to get everyone registered for school, lessons, camps and anything else you can dream of.  All of a sudden I’m in the car for a couple of hours or more every afternoon and getting dinner on the table at a reasonable hour is an accomplishment.  As hard as I’m working, the few hours I have while most of the children are at school are suddenly WAY too short to accomplish what needs to be done now that my afternoons and evenings have evaporated.  Everyone is tired from the daylight savings time change but I can’t get them to bed early because all our activities were just scheduled to end an hour later and when we get home we still have homework to do.  We’re living tired, which makes the little girls more needy and life just feels complicated.  I know we’ll get through it and have a lot of great experiences, but there’s also a Herculean amount of work that goes into getting through it.  If I look away for a minute, it feels like I miss 100 things!

My neighbors have a massive tree in their yard, which the owner began cutting down on Monday.  I took this picture when the bottom half of the branches had been removed.

halfthetree

When I next thought to look, it was gone.  A stump in the yard and a massive tree trunk laying in the grass.  Gone.  I keep having the feeling that the next three months will be like that; a glance and then gone.  I also feel like, because it’s spring, I have projects to take care of that need as much work as removing that tree was for my neighbor, and I wonder where I’ll find the time/energy/resources to tackle it when life is in “blink and it’s gone” mode.  I don’t want to miss the big things, and I want to be thorough on the right things, and I want to enjoy this precious time of year – both in the natural world and in the lives of my ever-changing children.  It’s about priorities AND timing.   I have a strong “slow down/move faster” tug-of-war taking place in my heart.

I’ve been letting the children enjoy playing outside as much as possible because if the weatherman is right, it will all be covered in snow in the next day or two.

I started my seeds in the basement under grow lights and with a heating mat.  They got right to work becoming what they were created for and I love visiting my tiny plants every day.

tomatostarts

I can’t tell you how excited I am to grow tomatillos again this year.

tomatillostart

All the squash are thriving and need transplanting to larger containers right away.  (As fast as my kids are growing out of clothes/shoes/bikes, etc, it seems!)

squashstarts

Much as I love seeing these things grow, I’m reminded that the season of my life dictates my priorities more than the season of the year.  I am a mother first, gardener second.

A mother armed with a list of where she needs to be every 15 minutes between 3 and 8 pm so that everyone gets to and from their commitments safely and hopefully on time.  A mother who’s praying there are clean uniforms to wear in the morning, who had to make a second run to the store today for bread to make sandwiches for lunches at 6 am tomorrow.  A mother timing one child on the piano, another on the violin, and another on their fluency reading at the same time, while also trying to listen to what her 15 year old has to say about which chemistry teacher we should register for next year and smile at the 14 year old who’s alive with excitement from compliments received at soccer practice, with the thought dawning in that very moment that the bathroom sink has been running too long and it sounds like more than one child might be playing in there.  A mother who held her 3 and 5 year olds today while reading books and tried to memorize the curve of their cheeks, the way their hair frames their faces so perfectly, the sound of their voices telling me stories.  A mother who’s going to gather flowers at every opportunity during the wild ride that will constitute the remainder of the school year.  A mother who’s blinking fast, hoping she doesn’t miss anything that really matters.  Reminding herself to breathe, to smile, to laugh.

Welcome, spring!

Sometimes Love is Heavy


double tulips

So often we think of love as something that makes life easier, better, happier, and it is.  Love unlocks goodness in every direction, pushing us upward like the flower reaching toward the light.

Sometimes it’s not so pretty.

This week I’m watching my parents struggle, and struggle well, under the terrible weight of love.

Sometimes our love for others ends up dragging us through all kinds of muck we never wanted, makes us lift and carry indefinitely burdens we didn’t seek, pushes us into experiences we sought to avoid.

It changes us in ways we worry about.

But, because we love, we have no choice but to get through the muck, keep carrying the burden, face the experience.

***

Somewhere in there, if we’re lucky, we remember One who did the same for us, who struggled under the terrible weight of a cross.

Love was heavy for Him, too.

He prayed for us, bled for us, died for us, and rose for us.

He offers help and strength when we’re crumbling beneath the weight.

***

As we reach for that strength it all becomes clear:

It isn’t the love that is heavy.  Life’s trials are heavy.

Love is what gets us through.

And we keep on.

Content.

We’ve had company at our home since Monday, and she left today.  It was wonderful to have my husband’s Aunt here.  She helped the children with homework while I made dinner, and when the evening ended the kids were happy, homework was done AND the house was clean.  I concluded, as I drifted off to sleep last night, that I need two of me.  One to run the house and one to sit one-on-one with the children in the after school hours.  They are SO frenzied, and having another person here who was trying to nurture certainly made things pleasant.

That said, it’s always nice to make the transition back to normal life.  I feel like I’ve been off the normal life track for more than a week, with Valentine’s day, my little soccer tournament trip, President’s Day and out of town company.  I’m happy today to be in my own home with the chatter of two little girls to keep me company.  A few things I’m enjoying:

{PRETTY}
familyroom The house is clean, ready for the children to come home and blow it up again.

master

My bedroom, which is usually where I dump the things I don’t have time to deal with, has been a priority for me.   I’m breaking my bad habit and love walking past it during the day because it’s clean and pretty.

{HAPPY}
coolingpan I had a cooling pan of homemade granola bars on the counter at 10 a.m. this morning.  It’s always nice to have our after school snack taken care of!

{FUNNY}
crocodile I found this assignment crumpled in the girls room when I was cleaning.  It’s the work of my 3rd grader, and I laughed so hard as I read her description of crocodiles.  Especially the judgement that they are bad leaders because they will eat you.

crocodilepaper

We even read it at the dinner table after she consented (okay, I bribed her) and the whole family enjoyed her humor.  Do crocodiles really have pretty eyes?  I love her neat handwriting and have saved this assignment in a safe place.

{REAL}
With me out of town and then entertaining a guest, the laundry room has certainly suffered.

laundry

At least all those clothes are clean!  Guess what I’ll be doing tonight?

I have really loved the Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real posts at Like Mother, Like Daughter.
I love the way they focus on capturing the precious little things that bring us contentment and joy, so I’m linking up there today with a heart full of thanks for the good and simple things of everyday life.

Wishing you a content heart, Jennifer

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