When I Grow Up…



I walked around the corner last week to find my youngest on the floor, trying to “tape” herself and put her sister’s soccer socks on.  She kept at it until she’d pulled them up her legs and had her feet in big sister’s cleats.  Then she found an old jersey and donned it as a soccer “dress” of sorts.  Her big sisters got a kick out of the display and tied the shirt so she wouldn’t trip, then put her hair in a pony tail.


Then she was outside for the game, talking nonstop about what she was doing and pausing occasionally to ask questions like “Is that cool?”  We laughed and shook our heads as she carried on.   Really, it still surprises me sometimes that she is my 8th and yet is so totally different from all the others, a brand all her own.  In some ways I feel like my experience really helps with her and in others I’m at a total loss.  She is so unique.




She wants so badly to be big, to be doing all the things the big kids do.  {She’s pretty good at painting her own fingernails already, as she can find nail polish hidden anywhere.  Scary!}  She wants to be like them, and she thought that putting on all the stuff would make her big and fast and strong like they are.


I sat there, laughing and loving her and then it hit me that in some ways I’m just like her.  I’m trying so hard to do things, but still have much to learn and much growing to do before I’ll be the girl I mean to be.  Sometimes I feel like I’m all outfitted like a mom, but still fumble and trip as I try to actually do it.


She wants to grow up and play soccer, go to school, make cupcakes, be a Mom.

I want to grow up too, and be the Mom I intended to be, the Mom my kids deserve, the Mom that God gave me the potential to be.    Like her, I have yet to grow into the shoes I want to fill, but with faith and prayer and time it just might happen.




Aren’t I lucky I have them to help me do it?

Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow to all of you who love and care for children in any way.  May we all spend the day feeling grateful for noble and inspiring women who push us to be better, and may we place emphasis on those things in our lives which are of lasting value and importance.

Jennifer

Potential

I haven’t had time to weed my flowerbeds much lately, or even to walk around the yard and see how things are looking until yesterday.  I saw a few things that made me very happy.


First, things appear to be coming back well.  Some of the lavender is a little slow, but I think it’s all going to make it.  I’m pleased with how full my front flowerbed is looking.  It will get better when the peonies are mature in a few years.  I planted some dahlias in there again and am hoping they take.


The allium is new this year and I’m liking them a lot.  They’ve attracted lots of bees and are so pretty standing on their long, straight stems.


The tulips are about finished.  I really ought to go cut them all down, but in a few spots the show is still impressive so I’m leaving them a bit longer.  I am SO pleased with the variety of tulips I added to my yard last fall.  Without a doubt we have enjoyed some stunning flowers.  I’m sorry to see them go but happy I’ll greet them again next year.


Coming soon:  peonies.  It’s true that anticipation adds to happiness, for the anticipation I feel when I see these perfectly round buds which will soon burst forth into something remarkable is a great feeling.  I have six peonies that will bloom wonderfully this year, and more roots that I planted this spring.  It will take time for them to bloom but I’ll wait.  It will be worth it!


It was the trees that made me particularly happy as I did the rounds.  My pear trees appear to be doing well, with what I think are signs of fruit yet to develop.  (I hope – I’ve never grown pears before.)


Looks like we’ll get some cherries as well.  Hooray!


And for the first time, I see a few itty bitty fuzzy things on one of the peach trees.  Could it be….?


It’s funny how I can see this potential and feel so satisfied.  I have a part in it, but really the plants are doing the work.  I feel, for lack of a better word, proud of them.  I don’t feel critical that there isn’t more.  I feel so pleased with the growth I see.

I also see areas that need weeding, gardens that need planting, vines that need training, etc. but then I look at this group enjoying otter pops on the back porch and remember that THEY are my most important garden.  THEIR growth is the most important growth going on around here.  I remind myself to be more joyful about even tiny signs of growth, especially when I was hoping for much more.  I remind myself to be more matter-of-fact about the “weeding” that needs to be done behaviorally instead of going about it with fear or frustration.  They are my greatest investment and have the greatest potential of all.  They bring the greatest joy and beauty to my life.  I’m so grateful for them, and grateful for the reminder I received from my plants and trees.  Life is about people, and it’s wonderful!


Jennifer

May’s Calendar

Since the end of April I’ve spent considerable time going through every email, every paper sent home, visiting multiple websites, consulting school and district calendars, etc. to learn the time and date of everything that concerns any of my children during May.  It’s the month of insanity, and as I was going through it all, I quickly realized that I could never fit it all on a piece of paper.

I raided my dwindling supply of posterboard (I stash a bunch of it at the beginning of the school year so we never have to go to the store late at night for the surprise poster assignment) and made myself a calendar for May.


Try as I might to minimize it, this month always runs us dry, and often before the month has ended.   I don’t want my kids to think that because you’re sick of it, you get to quit.  I want them to finish the school year well.

I
want to finish the year well (although that goal often morphs as the month goes on into something that resembles surviving it more than conquering it).

So instead of wasting space with names, I chose a marker for each family member and made a color-coded calendar.  At a glace I can see who needs to be where every day.  I didn’t include the long lists of items that need to be finished, or errands, or piano and violin practice.  It doesn’t include the time it takes to tape ankles before games and practices, or driving time or pick-up times.   My personal lists are elsewhere.  This is just the basics.


I’m liking the size of it.  It may be my new scheduling strategy.

I also went through each student’s online gradebooks at their respective schools and made lists of every missing assignment and whatever upcoming assignments were posted.  I know we’re going to get slammed with some projects that I haven’t heard about yet, but I can at least be aware of what has already been assigned and we can at least tackle any missing work.   On the back of the calendar I’ve listed those assignments, also by color, titling them “rescue missions.”


Because most of them were sick before spring break, there are a few of those that weren’t attended to well.  My handsome son who missed a week of school for his ankle has a long list of missing work.  I requested assignments from his teachers that week, but only 3 responded and so we’re doing lots of rescuing there.


I’ll be honest.  The calendar by itself doesn’t look too bad.  The list of schoolwork looks doable.  Putting them together is tricky.  Take tonight, for example.  We’re going to spend 5 hours driving to, waiting for, watching and driving home from a soccer game.  It will be fun, but it’s tough to get much done under those circumstances.  We will have another late bedtime for the younger ones.  Add to that the laundry, haircuts, clean rooms, meal prep, reading time, and I quickly feel like this:


I am trying to avoid eating poorly during an on-the-run month.  With little time for cooking, many of our meals look like this:


Some of the kids don’t love it but they all eat it, and that’s a good thing.

As the month flies by I’m also noticing a lot of areas in which we’re falling short.  Some of the children have developed behavior patterns that need to be corrected.  I’m keeping a list of them so that the minute school is out we can begin Behavior Modification 101, or in layman’s terms, do what you’re asked to do when you’re asked to do it.  Should be fun!

How is your May going?

Hopeful Homemaker

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